Is it weird that I'm 19 and only have one friend?

I'm currently on a gap year and I feel so lonely. My problem isn't the making friends bit, its the staying in touch. I had a tight group of friends in secondary school but we all went our separate ways during sixth form. The same for my sixth form mates (excluding one of them) we all just went our separate ways. Even at work, we're all 'mates' who have evenings out together but when I left my job we all drifted away from each other yet again. And before anyone says I should reach out: I have and usually the conversation becomes dry very quickly and I regret popping up or I'll get the whole 'we'll deffo meet for a coffee when I get back from uni' and then I see they're back home on snapchat but have made no effort to meet up.. welp :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

maate, I get this feeling so much, I wanna see what advice people give as well

Reply 2

Blondie987

17

I'm 19 and have no friends lol jk, but I get what you mean, I had pretty close friends in school but people moved away and lost touch, we still keep in contact but we're definitely not as close as we were. You have so much time to make friends so don't worry, you'll meet so, so many people in your lifetime you're bound to make loads of friends and there shouldn't be any pressure to do so. If you're looking for ways to meet people with similar interest, I'd suggest just getting involved in things you enjoy and put yourself out of your comfort zone good luck! :biggrin:

Reply 3

Banana00

21

See if you can make friends with people who are likely to be around for longer. Also, if you feel that you're beginning to drift away from a close friend, try to keep in touch as much as possible so that you don't lose contact.

I hope this helps and GOOD LUCK! :h:

Banana

Reply 4

UWS

21

Such is life. People come and go. Friendship is a two way thing and if they don't want to put in the effort then the friendship wasn't that strong in the first place.

You'll make new friends wherever you go though so it's fine.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

I am the same as you, everyone i meet seems to be a 'part time friend' as i like to call it because sooner or later they leave and im back at square one. I also used to be the one to reach out to people but nowadays i live by the rule that i will never chase someone who doesnt want to be chased. It gets tiring being the only person making any effort or feeling like people just tell you what you want to hear.. this might not be very helpful but i thought it would do no harm to you to know that you are not the only one. I am 20 by the way .. i just feel at this age everyone has already formed their group and it is difficult to meet people that will be 'life time friends' rather than 'part time' ..

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

I am the same as you, everyone i meet seems to be a 'part time friend' as i like to call it because sooner or later they leave and im back at square one. I also used to be the one to reach out to people but nowadays i live by the rule that i will never chase someone who doesnt want to be chased. It gets tiring being the only person making any effort or feeling like people just tell you what you want to hear.. this might not be very helpful but i thought it would do no harm to you to know that you are not the only one. I am 20 by the way .. i just feel at this age everyone has already formed their group and it is difficult to meet people that will be 'life time friends' rather than 'part time' ..

I totally get what you mean! Whenever I meet people, they usually talk about their group of friends and I end up feeling even more isolated cause everyone already has their friendship group...I always thought at 19 I would have a group of close mates cause everyone always comments on how outgoing I am :frown:

Reply 7

lalalightwood

1

I'm really bad with keeping in touch. I have 2 close friends, and the rest are just Sixth Form friends. Luckily with my close friends, we can go weeks at a time without speaking once, and still come back together.

Reply 8

TeeEm

19

Original post by Anonymous

I'm currently on a gap year and I feel so lonely. My problem isn't the making friends bit, its the staying in touch. I had a tight group of friends in secondary school but we all went our separate ways during sixth form. The same for my sixth form mates (excluding one of them) we all just went our separate ways. Even at work, we're all 'mates' who have evenings out together but when I left my job we all drifted away from each other yet again. And before anyone says I should reach out: I have and usually the conversation becomes dry very quickly and I regret popping up or I'll get the whole 'we'll deffo meet for a coffee when I get back from uni' and then I see they're back home on snapchat but have made no effort to meet up.. welp :frown:

some people are happier without too many people close around them

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I totally get what you mean! Whenever I meet people, they usually talk about their group of friends and I end up feeling even more isolated cause everyone already has their friendship group...I always thought at 19 I would have a group of close mates cause everyone always comments on how outgoing I am :frown:

Yes!! i feel exactly the same, it almost feels like jealousy actually hearing others talk about their friends it just reminds me how alone i am.. i was so shy as a kid i always told myself not to worry cause ill be fine when im older yet hear i am, im no longer shy but still find myself with no one around me :/

Reply 10

Anonymous #4

Same here.

You'll meet new people though.

Reply 11

Asolare

20

No, not weird at all, just how life goes.

Reply 12

Conkerr

6

You need to make friends outside of university/work. Because that's what most of them will ever be, (temporary) university friends/work friends. When you leave those places, they'll just forget about you. If you want to keep your friends, you need to find them outside of those places.

I lost all my university friends except 1 and I haven't kept a single friend from my jobs either. But I still have all my other friends that I didn't meet at school/at work.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Conkerr

You need to make friends outside of university/work. Because that's what most of them will ever be, (temporary) university friends/work friends. When you leave those places, they'll just forget about you. If you want to keep your friends, you need to find them outside of those places.

I lost all my university friends except 1 and I haven't kept a single friend from my jobs either. But I still have all my other friends that I didn't meet at school/at work.

Where would I find friends outside of these places?

Reply 14

Leona100

6

Sorry, I'm afraid you're thinking about yourself too much. Stop guessing are you weird or not, there are so many people around you, try to know them better and take it easy

Reply 15

Sugarcoated

1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm currently on a gap year and I feel so lonely. My problem isn't the making friends bit, its the staying in touch. I had a tight group of friends in secondary school but we all went our separate ways during sixth form. The same for my sixth form mates (excluding one of them) we all just went our separate ways. Even at work, we're all 'mates' who have evenings out together but when I left my job we all drifted away from each other yet again. And before anyone says I should reach out: I have and usually the conversation becomes dry very quickly and I regret popping up or I'll get the whole 'we'll deffo meet for a coffee when I get back from uni' and then I see they're back home on snapchat but have made no effort to meet up.. welp :frown:

I know just how you feel I had close friends at college who seem to have completely forgotten me now they're at uni. I see on snapchat they've come home as well I guess we never were that good friends if they don't wanna see me.. I think gap years are particularly difficult (im on one too) because where do you meet people your own age? They're all at uni!

Reply 16

Conkerr

6

That's life and it happens to everyone.

Uni friends are usually uni friends. There are exceptions but most of the time everyone just goes separate ways, there is nothing you can do. Same for work, generally you don't meet your best friends at work.

That's the same for everything. I had uni friends, I had work friends, I had tennis friends, and that's all they were, once you stop those things they're gone. Try to meet people outside of those places. Hard to do I know but then they will have no 'tag', they won't be X friends, they'll just be friends. That's what happened to me.

Yes.

No you are not. Some people they prefer to be alone, hence, they don't have any friend. You're still young. You are going to meet a lot of people that you might be bound to be friends forever. I, too, have a lot of friends during my secondary form, now, we ahven't talked in years. But I have new set of friends now and hanging out with them much now since I am going to study abroad.

I suggest you go out and do things you really are interested in. You'll get to tmeet people with the same interests as you and they are the kind that is for keeps :wink:

good luck mate

Reply 19

ProudParent75

1

Original post by Anonymous

I'm currently on a gap year and I feel so lonely. My problem isn't the making friends bit, its the staying in touch. I had a tight group of friends in secondary school but we all went our separate ways during sixth form. The same for my sixth form mates (excluding one of them) we all just went our separate ways. Even at work, we're all 'mates' who have evenings out together but when I left my job we all drifted away from each other yet again. And before anyone says I should reach out: I have and usually the conversation becomes dry very quickly and I regret popping up or I'll get the whole 'we'll deffo meet for a coffee when I get back from uni' and then I see they're back home on snapchat but have made no effort to meet up.. welp :frown:

You aren't weird, but you have to understand that making friends in school is easy because you have the perfect excuse to see each other everyday. The same will go for work. When you go your separate ways, that's exactly what happens: you go your separate ways. That doesn't mean they stop being your friend, but you really will drift simply because you don't see each other nearly as often. The good news is, unless you shut yourself in your room all the time, you'll meet new people to hang out with, and as you progress in life, you'll find a handful of people who will keep in touch no matter how far your lives place you from each other, and whenever you talk, it'll seem like you never spent a day apart.

It may sound too optimistic for you right now, but believe me: you'll be fine. :smile:

Is it weird that I'm 19 and only have one friend?

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