Does he like me in that way or does he just see me as a friend?
This sounds so corny, I know. Sorry about that ==
Anyway, there's this guy who I got to know pretty well this year at uni. We're both in first year, which is a good start, I guess. And he does seem to like me. But I can't tell if he likes me as more than a friend or not...?
We tend to message each other over snapchat and/or messenger every day/every other day, and we like each other's Facebook posts a lot. He also likes quite a lot of my Instagram photos, and he's following me on Tumblr and he reblogs and likes my stuff on there too... you get the drift. And we get on well when we talk in person as well (there is a bit of a language barrier because English isn't his first language, but it's not really a huge issue, because he is very fluent in English). He also knows quite a lot about me; he knows things about me that quite a lot of other people don't know. And he also asked me to live with him and some of his friends next year (but I had to say no, because I had already agreed to live with someone else next year, and I couldn't just ditch her). So I guess you could say we're pretty close.
But he never touches me or anything. I catch him staring, but he still hasn't broken the touch barrier.
But from what I've seen when he's around other girls, he never touches them either, so I don't know if that's a good sign or not? He just doesn't seem to be the sort of person who would just randomly go up to someone and touch them, even if it was just to place his hand on their shoulder or whatever.
I also don't see him looking at other girls as much as he seems to be looking at me, so I guess that's also a good sign?
He does seem kind of reserved though, so I think it might just be a personality thing...
I realised that things were progressing around halfway through this semester, and seeing as he doesn't even live in the same country as me when it isn't term time, I figured it would be a bad idea to try anything now, because if things did work out well, we would have a huge three month gap when he went back home.
He's back home at the moment, and we're still messaging quite a lot. Obviously I'm not going to say anything about how I feel now, because even if he says that he feels the same way, what would we be able to do? We won't be in the same place again until September, which is a while away.
What should I do from here? I think it's best to just leave it for now, and just continue in the same way that I have been for the past few months (as in continue with the messaging, etc.). But what about when I see him again at university next year? What should I do then?
I was going to hug him or something before the end of this year (because the things that he knows about me are kind of a big deal...), but I just never got the opportunity, because there were always other people who we knew around us whenever I saw him, and I didn't want to make things awkward if he didn't want to hug me...
What should I do?
Anyway, there's this guy who I got to know pretty well this year at uni. We're both in first year, which is a good start, I guess. And he does seem to like me. But I can't tell if he likes me as more than a friend or not...?
We tend to message each other over snapchat and/or messenger every day/every other day, and we like each other's Facebook posts a lot. He also likes quite a lot of my Instagram photos, and he's following me on Tumblr and he reblogs and likes my stuff on there too... you get the drift. And we get on well when we talk in person as well (there is a bit of a language barrier because English isn't his first language, but it's not really a huge issue, because he is very fluent in English). He also knows quite a lot about me; he knows things about me that quite a lot of other people don't know. And he also asked me to live with him and some of his friends next year (but I had to say no, because I had already agreed to live with someone else next year, and I couldn't just ditch her). So I guess you could say we're pretty close.
But he never touches me or anything. I catch him staring, but he still hasn't broken the touch barrier.
But from what I've seen when he's around other girls, he never touches them either, so I don't know if that's a good sign or not? He just doesn't seem to be the sort of person who would just randomly go up to someone and touch them, even if it was just to place his hand on their shoulder or whatever.
I also don't see him looking at other girls as much as he seems to be looking at me, so I guess that's also a good sign?
He does seem kind of reserved though, so I think it might just be a personality thing...
I realised that things were progressing around halfway through this semester, and seeing as he doesn't even live in the same country as me when it isn't term time, I figured it would be a bad idea to try anything now, because if things did work out well, we would have a huge three month gap when he went back home.
He's back home at the moment, and we're still messaging quite a lot. Obviously I'm not going to say anything about how I feel now, because even if he says that he feels the same way, what would we be able to do? We won't be in the same place again until September, which is a while away.
What should I do from here? I think it's best to just leave it for now, and just continue in the same way that I have been for the past few months (as in continue with the messaging, etc.). But what about when I see him again at university next year? What should I do then?
I was going to hug him or something before the end of this year (because the things that he knows about me are kind of a big deal...), but I just never got the opportunity, because there were always other people who we knew around us whenever I saw him, and I didn't want to make things awkward if he didn't want to hug me...
What should I do?
Hug him next term 
ask to hang out with him.
You could just say it was a friendly hug if he rejected you!
You'll regret it if you don't go after him!
ask to hang out with him.You could just say it was a friendly hug if he rejected you!
You'll regret it if you don't go after him!
Original post by MoonRocket
Hug him next term ask to hang out with him.
You could just say it was a friendly hug if he rejected you!
You'll regret it if you don't go after him!
ask to hang out with him.You could just say it was a friendly hug if he rejected you!
You'll regret it if you don't go after him!
Yeah, I definitely don't want to just leave it, because I know that it'll just fizzle out if I do that. I was in a similar situation to this a few years ago, and I do not want a repeat of that.
I just figured that if I tried anything this term, then it might have ended up in tears, because there would have been a huge three month gap when we didn't see each other, because he lives so far away (and I also don't speak his native language, so visiting him would probably be out of the question, unless he was coming to visit me. Which wouldn't be very fair for him, because he barely gets to see his family during term time, while my family only lives a few hours away).
Why would it end in tears? I'm guessing you only have less than a month left before your both moving back home? You've got exams too I guess? So I can't imagine you guys having too much free time the next 2 weeks, but you could start a relationship in the time you have left at uni if you wanted to.
As for the break you guys could continue talking without making any commitments to visit each other etc not too big of a deal it's possible. My gf moved to London for Uni living with her farther and older brothers and we both had a mutual agreement that it would probably be best for our time at Uni not to keep seeking each other (we already found it hard to see each other since we lived 1-2 hours away from each other and I was always going to hers because of my family etc). We kept on talking to each over texts and phone calls at least twice a week and I still kept in contact with her younger brother since we basically all have a love for gaming and have the same group of friends then 3 months later for Christmas she moved back to Manchester (her parents are split, younger brother stays with mum) and we got back together, since then we've actually made the long distance thing and basically have seen each other every fortnight since, she'd visit me or we'd spend the weekend in manchester.
I guess it's quite a large difference since you can't just hop into a car to visit each other when your in different countries but if you guys are meant to be and mange to keep each other interested over the 3 months then you've got a thing going already, and in september you could start a serious relationship with him, or if you guys didn't want to be exclusive for the 3 months it could probably work quite well lol.
As for the break you guys could continue talking without making any commitments to visit each other etc not too big of a deal it's possible. My gf moved to London for Uni living with her farther and older brothers and we both had a mutual agreement that it would probably be best for our time at Uni not to keep seeking each other (we already found it hard to see each other since we lived 1-2 hours away from each other and I was always going to hers because of my family etc). We kept on talking to each over texts and phone calls at least twice a week and I still kept in contact with her younger brother since we basically all have a love for gaming and have the same group of friends then 3 months later for Christmas she moved back to Manchester (her parents are split, younger brother stays with mum) and we got back together, since then we've actually made the long distance thing and basically have seen each other every fortnight since, she'd visit me or we'd spend the weekend in manchester.
I guess it's quite a large difference since you can't just hop into a car to visit each other when your in different countries but if you guys are meant to be and mange to keep each other interested over the 3 months then you've got a thing going already, and in september you could start a serious relationship with him, or if you guys didn't want to be exclusive for the 3 months it could probably work quite well lol.
Why dont you touch him first ? Seriously! I never hold a girls hand if I don't know her that well
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Be a bit bolder with your flirting. It's piss easy for girls to initiate touch, it's incredibly powerful and virtually never inappropriate. And invite him to some evening events where getting off together is more likely to be on the agenda. Or just ask him for a coffee. Simple really..
Original post by IAmYourdog
Why would it end in tears? I'm guessing you only have less than a month left before your both moving back home? You've got exams too I guess? So I can't imagine you guys having too much free time the next 2 weeks, but you could start a relationship in the time you have left at uni if you wanted to.
As for the break you guys could continue talking without making any commitments to visit each other etc not too big of a deal it's possible. My gf moved to London for Uni living with her farther and older brothers and we both had a mutual agreement that it would probably be best for our time at Uni not to keep seeking each other (we already found it hard to see each other since we lived 1-2 hours away from each other and I was always going to hers because of my family etc). We kept on talking to each over texts and phone calls at least twice a week and I still kept in contact with her younger brother since we basically all have a love for gaming and have the same group of friends then 3 months later for Christmas she moved back to Manchester (her parents are split, younger brother stays with mum) and we got back together, since then we've actually made the long distance thing and basically have seen each other every fortnight since, she'd visit me or we'd spend the weekend in manchester.
I guess it's quite a large difference since you can't just hop into a car to visit each other when your in different countries but if you guys are meant to be and mange to keep each other interested over the 3 months then you've got a thing going already, and in september you could start a serious relationship with him, or if you guys didn't want to be exclusive for the 3 months it could probably work quite well lol.
As for the break you guys could continue talking without making any commitments to visit each other etc not too big of a deal it's possible. My gf moved to London for Uni living with her farther and older brothers and we both had a mutual agreement that it would probably be best for our time at Uni not to keep seeking each other (we already found it hard to see each other since we lived 1-2 hours away from each other and I was always going to hers because of my family etc). We kept on talking to each over texts and phone calls at least twice a week and I still kept in contact with her younger brother since we basically all have a love for gaming and have the same group of friends then 3 months later for Christmas she moved back to Manchester (her parents are split, younger brother stays with mum) and we got back together, since then we've actually made the long distance thing and basically have seen each other every fortnight since, she'd visit me or we'd spend the weekend in manchester.
I guess it's quite a large difference since you can't just hop into a car to visit each other when your in different countries but if you guys are meant to be and mange to keep each other interested over the 3 months then you've got a thing going already, and in september you could start a serious relationship with him, or if you guys didn't want to be exclusive for the 3 months it could probably work quite well lol.
Well, we're actually both already at home. And we are still talking to each other via messenger or Snapchat every day/every other day.
I just figured that trying to start something in the month before we both left would be bad timing, because then we wouldn't see each other again for another three months, so I thought that I might as well wait until next year.
And yeah, we still have three years of university together, so we're not exactly short on time. But, then again, three years really isn't much time in the long run... I am sort of thinking about how this relationship will end up in the future, as I will probably end up staying in the UK, and I have no idea if he's going to go back to his home country to find a job or do a postgraduate degree or a phd or something...
Original post by Zarek
Be a bit bolder with your flirting. It's piss easy for girls to initiate touch, it's incredibly powerful and virtually never inappropriate. And invite him to some evening events where getting off together is more likely to be on the agenda. Or just ask him for a coffee. Simple really..
Okay, I'll try that ^^ But that'll have to wait until September now, seeing as we aren't even in the same country at the moment...
Definitely keep up the texts, snapchat etc. As summer starts drawing to an end tell him you've missed seeing him over the summer.
When you get back to uni it is easy to initiate the touch. You can hug him hello - as friends, hug others too so it doesn't seem awkward and you will have broken the touch barrier with him. Then whenever you're interested in a guy make and keep eye contact while he's talking. Don't be scanning the room like you might do in a conversation with a friend. Ask him to go for coffee, If you're sitting down it is easy to initiate touch again by reacting to something he said by touching his arm. Be sure to tell him again that you missed him over the summer. If you still feel that he's not taking the hint and offering his own 'next steps' you may have to share with a friend your feelings for him and let that subtly get back to him and see what his response would be. It sounds like he genuinely cares for you a lot; he could just be shy or likes you more as a friend.
One thing to be aware of though is that friendships and friendship groups can change after year 1. If you want to maintain a good relationship with him you are going to have to keep up the texting and snapchat over the summer. I hope he initiates the texts etc. too and not just responding to you. That is a positive sign.
For sure you'll regret not trying if you don't but if he's shy he may not be able to act on his feelings. He also may not be sure if you just want to be friends. That's why maybe he could tell a trusted mutual friend what he's thinking. Good luck!
When you get back to uni it is easy to initiate the touch. You can hug him hello - as friends, hug others too so it doesn't seem awkward and you will have broken the touch barrier with him. Then whenever you're interested in a guy make and keep eye contact while he's talking. Don't be scanning the room like you might do in a conversation with a friend. Ask him to go for coffee, If you're sitting down it is easy to initiate touch again by reacting to something he said by touching his arm. Be sure to tell him again that you missed him over the summer. If you still feel that he's not taking the hint and offering his own 'next steps' you may have to share with a friend your feelings for him and let that subtly get back to him and see what his response would be. It sounds like he genuinely cares for you a lot; he could just be shy or likes you more as a friend.
One thing to be aware of though is that friendships and friendship groups can change after year 1. If you want to maintain a good relationship with him you are going to have to keep up the texting and snapchat over the summer. I hope he initiates the texts etc. too and not just responding to you. That is a positive sign.
For sure you'll regret not trying if you don't but if he's shy he may not be able to act on his feelings. He also may not be sure if you just want to be friends. That's why maybe he could tell a trusted mutual friend what he's thinking. Good luck!
Original post by Anonymous
Okay, I'll try that ^^ But that'll have to wait until September now, seeing as we aren't even in the same country at the moment...
I'd be blunt and just ask him if he likes you, better than playing games eh?
Keep up the texts etc as others have said, and when you see him after the summer playfully ask him why he never takes you anywhere (when you're joking around). Hopefully he'll get the hint then
Original post by Anonymous
and I have no idea if he's going to go back to his home country to find a job or do a postgraduate degree or a phd or something...
I know many couples who are managing to take long distance relationships work. Some are living in 8 hour time zone differences.
3 years now for you guys to figure out where you think the relationship is going. If you guys are serious about a future together after uni you guys will work something out.
(edited 7 years ago)
He's definitely the shy/introvert type. Much like shy girls, guys will refrain from touching or making it too obvious that they like you, so you should compare how he treats other girls to you.
I can imagine shy guys will be more open with girls he considers as friends, whilst nervous and closed up with girls he's attracted to.
Would you say he acts differently in person than over messages?
If he does, there's a chance he likes you.
This is from personal experience being an ex-introvert.
I can imagine shy guys will be more open with girls he considers as friends, whilst nervous and closed up with girls he's attracted to.
Would you say he acts differently in person than over messages?
If he does, there's a chance he likes you.
This is from personal experience being an ex-introvert.
Original post by The Roast
He's definitely the shy/introvert type. Much like shy girls, guys will refrain from touching or making it too obvious that they like you, so you should compare how he treats other girls to you.
I can imagine shy guys will be more open with girls he considers as friends, whilst nervous and closed up with girls he's attracted to.
Would you say he acts differently in person than over messages?
If he does, there's a chance he likes you.
This is from personal experience being an ex-introvert.
I can imagine shy guys will be more open with girls he considers as friends, whilst nervous and closed up with girls he's attracted to.
Would you say he acts differently in person than over messages?
If he does, there's a chance he likes you.
This is from personal experience being an ex-introvert.
I'd say he does, yeah. He tends to talk more over messages, but that might just have something to do with the language barrier (maybe he just finds it easier to write English than to speak it or something). He also seems to talk to me more than other people when we're in a group, but that might just be me over-analysing things again. But, like you said, that could mean that he just sees me as a friend.
But yeah, that's an awkward situation, seeing as I'm pretty introverted too.
Original post by Hopefully1
Definitely keep up the texts, snapchat etc. As summer starts drawing to an end tell him you've missed seeing him over the summer.
When you get back to uni it is easy to initiate the touch. You can hug him hello - as friends, hug others too so it doesn't seem awkward and you will have broken the touch barrier with him. Then whenever you're interested in a guy make and keep eye contact while he's talking. Don't be scanning the room like you might do in a conversation with a friend. Ask him to go for coffee, If you're sitting down it is easy to initiate touch again by reacting to something he said by touching his arm. Be sure to tell him again that you missed him over the summer. If you still feel that he's not taking the hint and offering his own 'next steps' you may have to share with a friend your feelings for him and let that subtly get back to him and see what his response would be. It sounds like he genuinely cares for you a lot; he could just be shy or likes you more as a friend.
One thing to be aware of though is that friendships and friendship groups can change after year 1. If you want to maintain a good relationship with him you are going to have to keep up the texting and snapchat over the summer. I hope he initiates the texts etc. too and not just responding to you. That is a positive sign.
For sure you'll regret not trying if you don't but if he's shy he may not be able to act on his feelings. He also may not be sure if you just want to be friends. That's why maybe he could tell a trusted mutual friend what he's thinking. Good luck!
When you get back to uni it is easy to initiate the touch. You can hug him hello - as friends, hug others too so it doesn't seem awkward and you will have broken the touch barrier with him. Then whenever you're interested in a guy make and keep eye contact while he's talking. Don't be scanning the room like you might do in a conversation with a friend. Ask him to go for coffee, If you're sitting down it is easy to initiate touch again by reacting to something he said by touching his arm. Be sure to tell him again that you missed him over the summer. If you still feel that he's not taking the hint and offering his own 'next steps' you may have to share with a friend your feelings for him and let that subtly get back to him and see what his response would be. It sounds like he genuinely cares for you a lot; he could just be shy or likes you more as a friend.
One thing to be aware of though is that friendships and friendship groups can change after year 1. If you want to maintain a good relationship with him you are going to have to keep up the texting and snapchat over the summer. I hope he initiates the texts etc. too and not just responding to you. That is a positive sign.
For sure you'll regret not trying if you don't but if he's shy he may not be able to act on his feelings. He also may not be sure if you just want to be friends. That's why maybe he could tell a trusted mutual friend what he's thinking. Good luck!
He does initiate the texts quite a lot, yeah. He actually sent me two last week.
The thing is, I'm just not a very touchy person. So, if I started to hug everyone now, that would look a bit strange.
And yeah, I have been keeping up the messages over the summer. I obviously haven't been messaging him every day or anything, maybe just one or two a week.
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