The Student Room Group

I can't make friends..

It's about midway through first year at uni. I came here knowing one person and made virtually no friends. I fell out with said person, who has many other friends and isn't bothered by this fall out (I don't intend on making up with them). However, this leaves me with 0 friends and 0 life.

I have a hard time socialising but I do enjoy going out. I'm terrified to go out alone to clubs or to party, since I was spiked previously and ended up in hospital. I do sit with a few people in my lectures and talk to them, but I never see them outside the lessons and they all have other friendship groups that they socialise with. I live in shared accommodation but none of our flat mates really talk to each other. We are all busy at different times and my next door neighbour is a nightmare person, having people over constantly and leaving the kitchen in a permanent mess.

Next year, I decided to live alone. While I will be happier having my own personal space and not worrying about the communal areas and if I get along with my flatmates, it means I will have virtually no socialisation at home. I'm not a sporty person but I do go to the gym, however I don't find it the place to make friends as I'm often in there listening to music and trying not to collapse.

I don't really actively participate in any forums or anything online in which I could make friends. I just seem to be at a dead end. I know there is no cure but I am wondering if I am just destined to be lonely.

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I hope i dont end up like you
Hey there!
Don't feel this way I'm sure there are still people who feel exactly the same way you do.
You can always strike up conversation by complimenting someone on their bag/hair or whatever. Or if there's someone in your lecture that you think you'll get along with ask them if they would like to study together later.
I wouldn't advise going clubbing alone due to the various unfortunate things that can happen so I would advise making friends first tbh.
Are there any societies that you can join ? Religion, art, debating? I'm sure there are a wide variety of choices and interests from you to pick from.
Even posting on TSR under your university as a thread could help you find more friends tbh you never know!
Overall just be yourself although it stinks to be alone, it's better to be alone than to pretend to be someone else just to fit in!
Reply 3
I'm sorry to hear that :frown: I know everyone says this but have you tried joining any societies or clubs?
Original post by effybun
It's about midway through first year at uni. I came here knowing one person and made virtually no friends. I fell out with said person, who has many other friends and isn't bothered by this fall out (I don't intend on making up with them). However, this leaves me with 0 friends and 0 life.

I have a hard time socialising but I do enjoy going out. I'm terrified to go out alone to clubs or to party, since I was spiked previously and ended up in hospital. I do sit with a few people in my lectures and talk to them, but I never see them outside the lessons and they all have other friendship groups that they socialise with. I live in shared accommodation but none of our flat mates really talk to each other. We are all busy at different times and my next door neighbour is a nightmare person, having people over constantly and leaving the kitchen in a permanent mess.

Next year, I decided to live alone. While I will be happier having my own personal space and not worrying about the communal areas and if I get along with my flatmates, it means I will have virtually no socialisation at home. I'm not a sporty person but I do go to the gym, however I don't find it the place to make friends as I'm often in there listening to music and trying not to collapse.

I don't really actively participate in any forums or anything online in which I could make friends. I just seem to be at a dead end. I know there is no cure but I am wondering if I am just destined to be lonely.


I see friends as a distraction; I only make friends with people who can benefit my life. Do the same.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by John10101
I hope i dont end up like you


You seem like an empathetic person..
Join clubs and societies and introduce to yourself to people, ask them what course are they on, what are their aspirations, what made them chose the course.

Also why don't you join social clubs outside of your academics or join meet up's online based on your hobbies and you could potentially make friends there.

Also volunteering is a great way to meet new people and form friendships.

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller lol.

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you, you?

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about the weather etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, interested, relaxed, open to people.
Maybe in the summer you should try line travelling and make new friends. That will make for some fab Instagrams and goodness discussion topics. I heard interrailing is really good where you basically go on a train round different parts of Europe (the ones I've seen do anyway) and can spend a couple of days or whatever in that city/country. You can also choose how long to stay for. A website I looked at was https://www.euroventure.eu/?gclid=Cj0KEQiAuJXFBRDirIGnpZLE-N4BEiQAqV0KGmzr7Na8_K1FdwvEsOnZOqvv2QedhghxMk4SunpnypYaAvZG8P8HAQ and had loads of oackages to choose from and could stay in a hostel or hotel.

As for in Uni, I definitely recommend joining clubs/societies that interest you which could lead to making friends with similar interests
Original post by John10101
I hope i dont end up like you


Ouch...
Original post by effybun
It's about midway through first year at uni. I came here knowing one person and made virtually no friends. I fell out with said person, who has many other friends and isn't bothered by this fall out (I don't intend on making up with them). However, this leaves me with 0 friends and 0 life.

I have a hard time socialising but I do enjoy going out. I'm terrified to go out alone to clubs or to party, since I was spiked previously and ended up in hospital. I do sit with a few people in my lectures and talk to them, but I never see them outside the lessons and they all have other friendship groups that they socialise with. I live in shared accommodation but none of our flat mates really talk to each other. We are all busy at different times and my next door neighbour is a nightmare person, having people over constantly and leaving the kitchen in a permanent mess.

Next year, I decided to live alone. While I will be happier having my own personal space and not worrying about the communal areas and if I get along with my flatmates, it means I will have virtually no socialisation at home. I'm not a sporty person but I do go to the gym, however I don't find it the place to make friends as I'm often in there listening to music and trying not to collapse.

I don't really actively participate in any forums or anything online in which I could make friends. I just seem to be at a dead end. I know there is no cure but I am wondering if I am just destined to be lonely.


What do you like doing? Knitting? Cosplaying? Drawing? Rowing? Tae Kwon do? Football? Basketball? Gym?

There are plenty of clubs in all Universities. From my experience, almost all of them are very social (pub nights!). Join a few, look into doing things which you like and get better at it.

As long as you're not a piece of ****, people (decent people) will naturally makes friends with you.



Original post by John10101
I hope i dont end up like you


You're already a piece of **** :smile:
Original post by Kagutsuchi
What do you like doing? Knitting? Cosplaying? Drawing? Rowing? Tae Kwon do? Football? Basketball? Gym?

There are plenty of clubs in all Universities. From my experience, almost all of them are very social (pub nights!). Join a few, look into doing things which you like and get better at it.

As long as you're not a piece of ****, people (decent people) will naturally makes friends with you.





You're already a piece of **** :smile:


Why am i? All I said is that I hope I don't end up like that, I did not mean to offend him nor be condescending. I just heard his sad story and stated what i thought. That does not make me a piece of poop.
Original post by John10101
Why am i? All I said is that I hope I don't end up like that, I did not mean to offend him nor be condescending. I just heard his sad story and stated what i thought. That does not make me a piece of poop.


Yes it does, actually.

Take your **** to the **** store and sell it. Because no-one wants your **** here.
Original post by Kagutsuchi
Yes it does, actually.

Take your **** to the **** store and sell it. Because no-one wants your **** here.


Clearly you are the age of 12. Please do your homework.
Original post by John10101
Clearly you are the age of 12. Please do your homework.


K, lemme break it down for you.

You came onto a thread where someone has posted a personal and sensitive subject about their life, which details their loneliness and isolation.

Your immediate response was "wow. I hope this doesn't happen to me."

You're a self-centered, tactless, piece of ****.

Tell you what, when your Mother/Father dies, send me a message telling me how sad you are about it. I'll send back "I hope my Mother/Father doesn't die".
Original post by Kagutsuchi
K, lemme break it down for you.

You came onto a thread where someone has posted a personal and sensitive subject about their life, which details their loneliness and isolation.

Your immediate response was "wow. I hope this doesn't happen to me."

You're a self-centered, tactless, piece of ****.

Tell you what, when your Mother/Father dies, send me a message telling me how sad you are about it. I'll send back "I hope my Mother/Father doesn't die".


If you said that my response would be yes I hope you don't have to go through it, not say "Take your **** to the **** store and sell it. Because no-one wants your **** here.". You are overly sensitive, I had no advice to give the poor guy so I just stated what I thought. Please try and express yourself differently and take a calmer approach instead of filling your self with hatred...
Original post by John10101
If you said that my response would be yes I hope you don't have to go through it, not say "Take your **** to the **** store and sell it. Because no-one wants your **** here.". You are overly sensitive, I had no advice to give the poor guy so I just stated what I thought. Please try and express yourself differently and take a calmer approach instead of filling your self with hatred...


An overemphasis on swearing puts forward the fact that you are a 12 year old with the mental age of a 6 year old. It also tells us that you're oversensitive about this topic. Just apologize for what you said and be on your way. Everyone will forget about you within an hour.
Original post by John10101
If you said that my response would be yes I hope you don't have to go through it, not say "Take your **** to the **** store and sell it. Because no-one wants your **** here.". You are overly sensitive, I had no advice to give the poor guy so I just stated what I thought. Please try and express yourself differently and take a calmer approach instead of filling your self with hatred...


Or I could point of **** stains like you for what they are?

I don't have to make you a better, more conscious, understanding and tactful person. I can just tell you to stfu and piss off, just like you can come on to a thread where someone has expressed something very difficult to them, and your immediate response is a self-centered "I hope I don't end up like you".

Next time you have a tragedy in your life, message me. I'll tell you "I hope I don't end up like you".

Because, like you, I won't give 2 steaming shits about what you're going through and how my words can hurt you.

:smile: This is fun.
Original post by 152mmOfDerp
An overemphasis on swearing puts forward the fact that you are a 12 year old with the mental age of a 6 year old. It also tells us that you're oversensitive about this topic. Just apologize for what you said and be on your way. Everyone will forget about you within an hour.


Nothing wrong with swearing, actually - unless you mean the overemphasis upon the perceived taboo of swearing.
i dont have any friends at uiversity either but its better off that way cos theres no one like me on my course so i just get on with my work
Original post by Kagutsuchi
Or I could point of **** stains like you for what they are?

I don't have to make you a better, more conscious, understanding and tactful person. I can just tell you to stfu and piss off, just like you can come on to a thread where someone has expressed something very difficult to them, and your immediate response is a self-centered "I hope I don't end up like you".

Next time you have a tragedy in your life, message me. I'll tell you "I hope I don't end up like you".

Because, like you, I won't give 2 steaming shits about what you're going through and how my words can hurt you.

:smile: This is fun.


I honestly now think you are 12 lmao. What are you doing getting so offended, get a life and stop watching hentai you freak.

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