Not enjoying University

Hi,

Im currently studying at the University of Bristol and really not enjoying it.

I was initially supposed to study Economics, with an offer of A*AA including an A in maths, however I ended up achieving A*AAB with the B in maths and Bristol decided not to take me on the course. Bristol did however give me an alternate offer to study English Literature as I had achieved an A* in English. Although I did get my insurance choice of Manchester uni for PPE, I kind of had my heart set on Bristol as it was the uni that I had been to see multiple times and I had a guaranteed accommodation offer.

Since arriving here, I’ve really not been enjoying it. This course is completely wrong for me and I have no motivation to attend lectures or get any of the work done, last week I missed every single lecture and seminar as I just couldn’t find the motivation to go.

I’m extremely homesick and miss my friends, boyfriend and family; my dad has just been diagnosed cancer and is having chemotherapy and I feel so helpless and far away. We have always been an extremely tight nit family and I miss my parents so much. I can only really go home once every month and I’m finding it extremely difficult.

I’m a very sociable person and have made a lot of friends, but I don’t feel very close to any of them- in any case it feels very artificial and I feel incredibly lonely at uni. I don’t massively enjoy clubbing and the constant partying has begun to really grate on me. I find myself locking myself in my room a lot and I have never ever been this person before. I don’t really know what to do.

I’ve come close to quitting many times, but I keep thinking about how much debt I’m already in and how much it would upset my parents, especially my dad.

I really don’t know what to do, I’m not enjoying uni and all and feel very depressed and miserable. This should be the ‘best time of my life’ but all I want is to be at home with my family and friend and just be studying the course that I really want.

Any advise?

Have you asked to see the course leader for the Economics and see if there's any chance of doing a transfer now you're there?
There may be students who have dropped out and left a vacancy...

You'll need the backing of someone on the staff in your corner, so talk to whoever is your designated 'pastoral care' tutor and maybe talk it through with someone on the counselling service.
Your whole outlook on life will change once you feel in control again and studying something you're passionate about.

More of a case you can build up, the better your chances

Could you go and talk to someone say in student services and discuss your options. As its so early in the course you might be able to stop and go back home and have student funding cancelled, not sure but you would have to check. Then you could restart next year doing something you love rather than being upset and struggling now. Just a suggestion.

I think your parents would be more upset if you decide after 2 years to give up, its much more sensible to do it now and review your choices to restart next year.

If you are really homesick see if you could go to uni closer to home doing a course you would enjoy more.

But take some proper advice, not just comments on here.

Wishing you all the best with your decisions and hope all goes well with your dad's chemo.

*advice**
No it's okay. I think I'm forcing myself to study because I'm quite ashamed what my parents had to pay for my uni, being and international student, the fee status is much higher and I'm acutely aware of how much money I'm haemorrhaging just to look at a couple of slides and have an anxiety attack over the next online test and stupid stupid essays. This is my first year too and it's the same with friends I've made so far. I think it does affect you negatively because I don't feel like wasting my time doing nothing with people I don't like that well as uni costs so much but simultaneously missing lectures because sometimes they tend to be boring. I'm getting quite lonely too, same shut up in my room and posting on forums when I should be studying for a test. I think you have to force yourself to meet new people in the end. That's what I plan to do once I'm done with the daunting essay, go down to the common room and be clearly obnoxious and yourself. I think having just one really good friend is all that can get you through sometimes and it's really hard to find when your're antisocial. Try joining a few clubs or societies. Although I'm sure you miss your family and your're very close, try think of what's happened over the last few months. They've put an effort, as have you, to get you to Bristol and you have a chance to be brilliant but you need to concentrate on your course. I think if you start to even swallow lecture material and try hard to be good at what you are stuck doing, it will make you feel better about the situation. Call your family often, that helps me. Call your old friends. Hope everything works out for you and I'm sure it will.