Religion confuses me and I’m a muslim.

So hey guys, long story short...
I am a somali girl who wears the hijab and I have been brought up as a muslim ever since i was young (I am 16) and i had many amazing memories of my family and I singing along to nasheeds in the car or all the eids. However, as ive grown up I realised how confusing Islam is to me. The thing is I am think a theist, i do think that there is something that created us and the closest thing to that is God. However what i don’t understand is this organised religion part. Its not only islam but christianity as-well. If God loves us so much and he is so omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent wouldnt he want us to live the easiest, free and happiest lives we could? Since he is all knowing and all seeing wouldn’t he know and see how much we love him? I’ve got many questions like that, that are unanswered. Another thing that bothers me is the role women, homosexuals and non believers have in islam. Dont give the the ‘thats not islam but an interpretation’ cus ive read the Quran. Women have such *****y roles, okay i understand that the book was based during 7th century arabia, okay. So why do we apply the same rules 14 centuries later? I just dont know and i cant speak to anyone in my community about it cus theyd blame it on the devil and blah blah blah.
I really hope someone is able to at least answer some of my questions because I really don’t want to leave Islam so i will make sure to do anything and everything not too... Because truthfully its either that or pretend for the rest of my life.

I am an atheist, so I've had to go through this sort of thing myself (brought up Christian, left it when I was 13). The way I see religion is that it is a way that people used to explain things. Humans would love to know everything we always have (we are inquisitive creatures). When humans couldn't explain things we created a being who we could. We look back at ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, Aboriginal & Native American religions as myths, stories that were silly and farfetched and then go back to modern day religion which is the same thing.

Some very clever people decided that organised religion would be the way to go and so used people's belief in God to use them and make them have undying loyalty. These religions grew through violence. The old testament and the Qur'an both state that those who didn't believe in our God were tainted by the Devil, they should be killed. Abraham/ Ibrahim is hailed as one of the heroes of the Abrahamic religions (Islam celebrates Eid-ul-Adha in his honour, as you know). But why is he famous, for destroying other people's religions their "God's" and telling them that they were wrong.

Islam's treatment of women, homosexuals etc. is not unique to Islam it is a staple of all religions. Oppression is a powerful method of control, as demonstrated by not just religion but also recently (if you look at any regime/ dictatorship). For example, North Korea uses the threat of death to scare people into oppression. The Kings of the past did much the same with religion. "If you betray me, God's servant, then God will find out and you will suffer eternally" would scare people into submission.

A benevolent God is a paradox in that, as you said if God is benevolent then why do we suffer and if he isn't benevolent then why do people follow him. This also extends to why is evil blamed on the devil, when if God is omnipotent then why can't he kill the devil.

However, I do not think all religion is bad, I think that in some cases there were good people. It is entirely possible that Jesus was a good man who generally wanted to help people and his actions were fictionalised later on.

I believe that religion is one of the most important things to ever happen in human history. Both for bad and for good. It is still important now. HOWEVER, many of the bad aspects of Christianity were outwritten in the New Testament, in other words, it was reformed and still has it's place. Islam never had that reform as the area that was dominated by Islam was the Middle East, North Africa & Central Asia. These regions were constantly at war. Christianity reformed because it has been centred in Europe (European Culture has shaped the western world today and so that's why Christianity has been reforming). Other religions weren't centred in Europe and so didn't have the same reformation period.

Islam is a very restrictive religion but don't let some fictional being deter you from making your own life choices. If you want to stay great if you want to leave great. Whatever makes you happy. If you feel like parts of Islam are a bit rooted in the past then you should ignore some of those principles. You can still be a theist and not be religious. If you like staying in Islam then stay in Islam but do not feel bad for thinking that some of it's a bit archaic or incorrect. What Islam needs are reformists, people willing to change (after all humanity never did anything new by sticking to the past). With such a bad reputation in areas of the world, it is the reformists who will help modernise Islam.
Most Islamic countries are led by leaders who seem to be Muslim on the outside but aren't. They oppress people because they've managed to do what the Kings and Queens of old did and convince people in the name of a religion. That is in no way defending what the Qur'an says as it says some pretty nasty things. If you ignore the bad and focus on the good such as Zakat ( 2.5% to the poor) then you are embracing what God (if they exist and are benevolent) would really want.

I find Buddhism so interesting as it is a religion without a God. What I think Buddha meant by enlightenment was finding one's purpose in life. I am no Buddhist but I respect this view. Honestly, we should all strive to be the best that we can and if you need a God to do that then so be it.

So I hope this has helped at least a little bit.

(P.S. might've gone a bit off track, I just find this such an interesting topic so...)

Wow, I really appreciate it and everything you said was helpful. The thing is I feel as though yes maybe i could just concentrate on the good things in islam and maybe yes i could be one of those islamic reformists but my main problem is the muslim community. Why is everyone so scared of change? I can’t talk to anyone without people either blaming it on the fact that i was born into a ‘western society’ hence why i have such views or the devil. I just want people to understand that Islam isnt all perfect y’know?
I really appreciate it, its nice to hear facts not just opinions

.... However what i don’t understand is this organised religion part. Its not only islam but christianity as-well. If God loves us so much and he is so omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent wouldnt he want us to live the easiest, free and happiest lives we could?

Wow, I really appreciate it and everything you said was helpful. The thing is I feel as though yes maybe i could just concentrate on the good things in islam and maybe yes i could be one of those islamic reformists but my main problem is the muslim community. Why is everyone so scared of change? I can’t talk to anyone without people either blaming it on the fact that i was born into a ‘western society’ hence why i have such views or the devil. I just want people to understand that Islam isnt all perfect y’know?
I really appreciate it, its nice to hear facts not just opinions

erm not sure if troll cos u really sound like one, no Muslim would say that

ofc islam is perfect Allah says in the quran this day I have perfected ur religion for u. R u trying to argue with Gods words?
Islam is perfect Muslims arent, learn the difference

I really am not a troll, the thing is I want to have no doubts in islam but i guess thats part of being a muslims as it said by many scholars - its good to doubt because it leads to asking more questions then finding your truth. Okay, Islam is perfect yes, so why are so many people going against islamic teachings THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE it can be yes interpretations but why do they get that from?

So hey guys, long story short...
I am a somali girl who wears the hijab and I have been brought up as a muslim ever since i was young (I am 16) and i had many amazing memories of my family and I singing along to nasheeds in the car or all the eids. However, as ive grown up I realised how confusing Islam is to me. The thing is I am think a theist, i do think that there is something that created us and the closest thing to that is God. However what i don’t understand is this organised religion part. Its not only islam but christianity as-well. If God loves us so much and he is so omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent wouldnt he want us to live the easiest, free and happiest lives we could? Since he is all knowing and all seeing wouldn’t he know and see how much we love him? I’ve got many questions like that, that are unanswered. Another thing that bothers me is the role women, homosexuals and non believers have in islam. Dont give the the ‘thats not islam but an interpretation’ cus ive read the Quran. Women have such *****y roles, okay i understand that the book was based during 7th century arabia, okay. So why do we apply the same rules 14 centuries later? I just dont know and i cant speak to anyone in my community about it cus theyd blame it on the devil and blah blah blah.
I really hope someone is able to at least answer some of my questions because i really don’t want to leave Islam so i will make sure to do anything and everything not too... Because truthfully its either that or pretend for the rest of my life.

U can have questions but shouldn't have doubts as Allah says never be among the doubters
The problem is u have to get ur questions answered from a reputable skiekh who is qualified to give them
a lot of ppl are going against Islamic teachings for lots of reasons, ignorance, arrogance, love of this world, societal indoctrination etc.

Islam has those intolerant, discriminatory standpoints on women, homosexuals etc. because it’s an ideology invented by 7th century Arabs at a time when these opinions would have been prevalent. An all-knowing god would not have commanded such culturally relative attitudes for all time so you can safely assume that the Islamic Allah isn’t real.

That said, you can still believe in God without subscribing to any religion.

I understand where you’re coming from but it does not prove that there is no ‘islamic’ allah yeah

The plethora of errors in the Quran do.

Well Sir/Madame, Islam thinks very low of females.

So Madame, If you take a look at Al Nisa-
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other…” [al-Nisa’ 4:34].

Madame, There is no dispute among the scholars that one of the conditions of the imaam or leader is that he should be male. Females in Islam are seen as the lesser in both genders.

So Madame,The Prophet (SAW). Also claimed who ever appoint a women as leader of a land that land will be cursed!

It is also clearly indicated by the hadeeth of Abu Bakrah Madame, who said that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard that the Persians had appointed the daughter of Chosroes as their queen, he said, “No people who appoint a woman as their leader will ever prosper.”

Madame! I highly advise that you re-consider your stance on Islam and whether it is the right religion for you. Because in my books, women are below men in every aspect of life!

Everytime i go to a sheikh he dismisses my questions so what am i supposed to do?

U can have questions but shouldn't have doubts as Allah says never be among the doubters
The problem is u have to get ur questions answered from a reputable skiekh who is qualified to give them

Who qualified them? Did they get a certificate from God himself?

All these priests and religious leaders say what they have taken out of their studies of religious texts. In other words, they say what THEY think is the truth.

Shouldn't have doubts? Perfect religion? Of course. That's how you maintain power, you can't afford to have people questioning everything.