Bf slept over a females house and didn't tell me about the roommate

My boyfriend (of only 4 months) spent the night with a bisexual female friends house over two hours away from here. Me and him have had many awful arguments about how I think it is not okay to sleep over a friend's house of the opposite sex and he never understood why it was such a problem which was always suspicious to me. But we had being fighting lately and he wanted to go rock climbing with a female friend. I said it wad okay for him to sleep over because he told me that she had a girlfriend. While he was there he texted me about how funny her roommate was and I asked of he was a cool guy and he said that she was and chill bisexual woman who makes out with the roommate/his friend from time to time. Clearly they have no boundaries and when I asked why he didn't tell me about the female roommate and why she cheats on her girlfriend he only said that

Unless this woman made a move on your boyfriend it's not really an issue.

Reply 2

username47781

20

If he didn't sleep in the same bed as her then I can't see how it's a problem

Reply 3

Adz2042

18

So the friend's roommate is bisexual? Ok.
And you have a problem with that?
Trust is key in any relationship. You trusted him to go to his friend's for an activity, and to sleep over.
And now you're doubting / over-thinking things?

People are allowed to hang out with friends. Doesn't mean something is happening.

Reply 4

doodle_333

19

Where did he sleep? As long as it wasn't in with either of these girls I don't think it's a huge thing.

Reply 5

shadowdweller

Volunteer Section Leader

21

I really don't see an issue here myself - it's one thing if he was openly interested in her/wanting to act on that, but I'm unclear why there should be an issue with him sleeping over at her house! I certainly wouldn't have an issue with my partner doing that, and I'd be pretty offended if they had an issue with me doing so, to be perfectly honest.

Reply 6

Drewski

19

Original post by Themadinvader

My boyfriend (of only 4 months) spent the night with a bisexual female friends house over two hours away from here. Me and him have had many awful arguments about how I think it is not okay to sleep over a friend's house of the opposite sex and he never understood why it was such a problem which was always suspicious to me. But we had being fighting lately and he wanted to go rock climbing with a female friend. I said it wad okay for him to sleep over because he told me that she had a girlfriend. While he was there he texted me about how funny her roommate was and I asked of he was a cool guy and he said that she was and chill bisexual woman who makes out with the roommate/his friend from time to time. Clearly they have no boundaries and when I asked why he didn't tell me about the female roommate and why she cheats on her girlfriend he only said that

You're being irrational.

Do you have any reason to suspect he's cheated on you, or do you just not like him being with other girls?

Without any other evidence, this just sounds like you don't trust him. And that's on you, not him.

Reply 7

bones-mccoy

19

It's none of your business if the roommate cheats on his friend. I'm not sure how this makes you not trust your boyfriend.

Reply 8

Themadinvader

OP

2

Original post by Drewski

You're being irrational.

Do you have any reason to suspect he's cheated on you, or do you just not like him being with other girls?

Without any other evidence, this just sounds like you don't trust him. And that's on you, not him.

I don't trust him because for months before that he was lying to me constantly and he played with my heart for a long time just so he could sleep with me. He broke the trust and we are trying to rebuild and we have a rule together that we tell each other when there are other people of the opposite sex involved when we hang out with friends, just to mention them is all. He usually does so this time is suspicious and the way he reacted to me reminding him of that rule was "goodnight"

Reply 9

Themadinvader

OP

2

Original post by doodle_333

Where did he sleep? As long as it wasn't in with either of these girls I don't think it's a huge thing.

I have no idea, he isn't texting me back at all

Reply 10

Aayush :)

15

Original post by Themadinvader

I don't trust him because for months before that he was lying to me constantly and he played with my heart for a long time just so he could sleep with me. He broke the trust and we are trying to rebuild and we have a rule together that we tell each other when there are other people of the opposite sex involved when we hang out with friends, just to mention them is all. He usually does so this time is suspicious and the way he reacted to me reminding him of that rule was "goodnight"

It sounds like its a lost cause quite frankly.

Reply 11

username3890778

21

if you’re so worried about your boyfriend cheating then you should probably not be in a relationship. but he should’ve told you anyways...

Reply 12

mio.648

16

if hes gonna cheat
hes gonna cheat regardless
dont waste your energy bro

Reply 13

Drewski

19

Original post by Themadinvader

I don't trust him because for months before that he was lying to me constantly and he played with my heart for a long time just so he could sleep with me. He broke the trust and we are trying to rebuild and we have a rule together that we tell each other when there are other people of the opposite sex involved when we hang out with friends, just to mention them is all. He usually does so this time is suspicious and the way he reacted to me reminding him of that rule was "goodnight"

You clearly don't trust him enough to have friends, so why bother?

You can't rebuild something that doesn't exist.

Reply 14

ANM775

20

Original post by nio.m

if hes gonna cheat
hes gonna cheat regardless

I don't agree.

Once many years ago I got a job at the opening of a new store. They got a former policeman to come in and give us a talk about stealing/eating stock. He said something like, "The majority of people are honest law abiding citizens and do not steal, and would not dream of going into a shop and shoplifting, but when you put people in an environment where there are temptations/oppertunities we tend to see more people breaking the law..."

The same premice is true for cheating. Most people are not looking, nor do they set out to cheat. But if you place them in environments full of temptions/oppertuities you will see more people doing the dirty.

I've seen it happen with my own eyes on nights out with friends.....

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Biphobic?

Bf slept over a females house and didn't tell me about the roommate

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