bf turns out to be dads cousin

well he was gonna be my bf but im not sure now

ive recently found out that a boy ive been talking to is my dads cousin.
his dad (my dads uncle) and his mum got divorced when he was like 2 and no one speaks to the dad as he's disappeared to god knows. Anyway i dont think he knows this and i dunno if i should bring it up to him. Would it be weird if we dated. And IF we had kids will they have some sort of defect. What shall i do?

his mum and my mum are also really good friends which i recently also found out. Basically my mum and I went to drop something off at hers and as per usual we stayed for hours. he wasnt home tho but i did notice his older brother then thats when my mum start saying 'oh you know he's your dads cousin' and how he has a brother the same age as me. Then they both started talking about how they remember when we were born and blah blah

sorry for the long post but what do y'all think. im shook AF

IF we were dated would it be weird? and IF we had kids would they have some sort of defects. and shall i stop talking to him romantically?

ps i posted this on another forum but didnt get any responses

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Reply 1

cheerIeader

O-M-G hun. That is incestuous.

Reply 2

Charlie1o5

it would be different and maybe weird to some, but normal and fine to others. weird is perspective. I think you should talk to him about it, because relationships need to be open and honest, if it's something your family might or might not agree with, you'll need each other to support each other.
personally, my opinion is you can't choose consciously who you love. nothing wrong with that, if you like him, go with your heart. live your life and do what makes you happy. hope this helps a bit

Reply 3

mgi

Stop freaking out! Birth defects unlikely because he is not that close a relative; he is your Dad's cousin! And how old are you both?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by mgi

Stop freaking out! Birth defects unlikely because he is not that close a relative; he is your Dad's cousin! And how old are you both?

were both 22. are you sure there wont be any birth defects? We both share the same great great grandparents

Reply 5

TheMcSame

There's no way to guarantee that there won't be any birth defects, they're something that just happens in nature.

The risk really isn't that big, with a first cousin, your chance doubles (sounds bad, but just wait). The problem here is that the birth defect rate is already low, like 2% or something like that. In other words, it's not all that different than an older woman having a child (women over 34 also have double the risk of giving birth to a baby with birth defects).

That's first cousins though. You're not dating your first cousins. Well, I'd have to guess that he's your third cousin. For reference, you share 12.5% of your DNA with a first cousin (you share the same grandparents) whereas you share just 0.781% of your DNA with a third cousin (Share the same great-great-grandparents). I don't know of any data that looks into this whole thing beyond first cousins (I don't even think there's a whole lot of data about siblings either). But the amount of DNA you share is so minimal that I'd be surprised if there was even a 0.5% increased risk of a birth defect.

As a rather crude way of guestimating the increased risk, we can look at the percentage of relation and use the known increased risk to guess what the rate might be.

So if the norm is 2% and first cousins have a double rate, we'll know that 12.5% of you DNA shared results in a 2% higher BDR which would, theoretically, put the BDR of third cousins (or equally distanced blood ties) at about 2.125%

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Yes, it would be weird. As long as your not in love with him it should be easy to not get involved with him. Come on there are so many other guys in this world! It doesn't have to be him!

Reply 7

Em.-.

The latest from TSR x Incest

Reply 8

Wired_1800

That is incest. Your kids may come out messed up.

tell him and end things. Good luck.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

But surely its got to be a massive turn off to know that he's related to your own dad?

Like sexually wouldn't that just feel disgusting??? Like personally I would find it off putting being romantically involved with any one who even looked like my dad!

Reply 10

RoxyThorn

HONEY stop thinking bout kids! tell him your related and see how he feels and just go from there. also see how your mum feels cuz at the end of the day she part of the family too and the last thing you want to do is destroy your family

Reply 11

Bio 7

Original post by Wired_1800

That is incest. Your kids may come out messed up.

tell him and end things. Good luck.

I guess you didn’t take a biology class at school.

Reply 12

Wired_1800

Original post by Bio 7

I guess you didn’t take a biology class at school.

I did. Why?

Reply 13

Bio 7

Original post by Wired_1800

I did. Why?

Because that’s not how inheritance works. It’s a distant relation and in one incestuous generation the bad genes are unlikely to be an issue.
There are worse people to have children with than distant cousins.

Reply 14

Wired_1800

Original post by Bio 7

I agree. Even though the likelihood is slim, it is still present esp being about 3 generations. The OP’s grandpa and her bf’s dad are blood brothers.

Reply 15

watershower

i feel like once people hear the word cousin the reaction is ‘INCEST EWWW’ but it is not incest at all...incest is reserved for only intermediate family members up to first cousins. after that, it’s not incest but depending on who you’re talking to it might be weird. definitely talk to him about it as you guys need to be open if you want to pursue this relationship but it is not as bad as people make it out to be, you are barely even related. as long as you guys don’t look the same idc

Reply 16

mgi

Yes, highly unlikely, and no worse than the general population. Do some research and even try asking your gp or an expert in family genetics.

noice

find someone else for gods sake.

you are FAMILY

You've not actually had sex yet or anything so you can easily nip this in the bud and cut things off before things get too deep

Reply 19

Capitalist_Lamb

Original post by ANM775

find someone else for gods sake.

you are FAMILY

You've not actually had sex yet or anything so you can easily nip this in the bud and cut things off before things get too deep

I mean to me it's weird but like people said above for others it might not. Also, who the f cares. I say if they ain't hurting anyone let people do what they want. Honestly we all most likely come from incestuous backgrounds lol.