The Student Room Group

Islam - female masturbation (friend needs some advice)

Scroll to see replies

That is literally one of the main reasons (eg liking eachother and wanting to be with eachother! ) people do get married lmao. So you can have sex with your spouse, it’s a huge part of marriage. That’s just Islam.
Original post by mgi
A person should never ever get married in order to simply fulfil their sexual drives. It is madness believe me! And divorce=the definition of stress!!Sounds like yiu should have left Islam ages ago!
Reply 21
Original post by Anonymous
That is literally one of the main reasons (eg liking eachother and wanting to be with eachother! ) people do get married lmao. So you can have sex with your spouse, it’s a huge part of marriage. That’s just Islam.


No. You are misunderstanding me. Sex is important in marriage of course. But getting married simply to have sex means that the people involved have no real understanding of what a good marriage is all about. Thats what i mean. And if sex is important to you as my future wife then i would need to know much more about your attitudes towards sex and not just hear you- if you see what i mean? I wouldn't want an asexual person or to go through divorce because my spouse turns out to only want sex once a month and with her eyes closed if you get what i mean?
Oh yes I totally see what your saying. but you can’t really find out your spouses attitude towards sex until after your married. And idk what this has got to with pleasuring yourself as I feel like this is going off topic from my original
Post.
Original post by mgi
No. You are misunderstanding me. Sex is important in marriage of course. But getting married simply to have sex means that the people involved have no real understanding of what a good marriage is all about. Thats what i mean. And if sex is important to you as my future wife then i would need to know much more about your attitudes towards sex and not just hear you- if you see what i mean? I wouldn't want an asexual person or to go through divorce because my spouse turns out to only want sex once a month and with her eyes closed if you get what i mean?
Reply 23
Original post by Anonymous
Oh yes I totally see what your saying. but you can’t really find out your spouses attitude towards sex until after your married. And idk what this has got to with pleasuring yourself as I feel like this is going off topic from my original
Post.


You can find out by having a sexual relationship with the person before marriage- somethong i guess you dont believe should happen Regarding pleasuring yourself- i see nothing wrong with that and im not sure that you do apart from what other people have told you? You have sexual needs that you were born with. So the question is how do you deal with them without having that utterly useless guilt trip? If, for example, you dream of having fellatio with a man but don't act on it but use self pleasire masterbation/dildo then how many haram attitudes have you done do you think? You cant have a healthy sex life even when you get married if you have not thought through what you actually really believe and why?
No having any sexual relationship before marriage is considered one of the biggest sins you can commit and it is not allowed. That is viewed differently compared to pleasuring yourself I’ve read if your even thinking about doing that then masturbation is okay to do
Original post by mgi
You can find out by having a sexual relationship with the person before marriage- somethong i guess you dont believe should happen Regarding pleasuring yourself- i see nothing wrong with that and im not sure that you do apart from what other people have told you? You have sexual needs that you were born with. So the question is how do you deal with them without having that utterly useless guilt trip? If, for example, you dream of having fellatio with a man but don't act on it but use self pleasire masterbation/dildo then how many haram attitudes have you done do you think? You cant have a healthy sex life even when you get married if you have not thought through what you actually really believe and why?
Reply 25
Original post by Anonymous
No having any sexual relationship before marriage is considered one of the biggest sins you can commit and it is not allowed. That is viewed differently compared to pleasuring yourself I’ve read if your even thinking about doing that then masturbation is okay to do


Ok. So bearing in mind what you have just written-there is nothing wrong with masterbation especially if you have sexual feelings/ needs but don't want to have sex before marriage. What screws up a lot of "virgins until marriage" is understanding and dealing with the natural desires that god must have given them and also a completely warped idea about what the true overall meaning of marrying someone is! I would suggest that anyone, in the context of their religion, should explore in detail what they actually believe about sexual matters and why. So in your case the question is: what exactly does the Quran teach about sexual matters? Is it not true, for example, that a certain bit of the female body is there for pleasure only? I am merely encouraging you to find out things in detail before you ever get married; not to persuade you that everything i say has to be true.
(edited 4 years ago)
I have searched and I am confused. The overall opinion is that yeah it is considered haraam however my friend didn’t techncially masturbate she used a pillow but legit didn’t orgasm/come so idk what the rulings are on that
Original post by mgi
Ok. So bearing in mind what you have just written-there is nothing wrong with masterbation especially if you have sexual feelings/ needs but don't want to have sex before marriage. What screws up a lot of "virgins until marriage" is understanding and dealing with the natural desires that god must have given them and also a completely warped idea about what the true overall meaning of marrying someone is! I would suggest that anyone, in the context of their religion, should explore in detail what they actually believe about sexual matters and why. So in your case the question is: what exactly does the Quran teach about sexual matters? Is it not true, for example, that a certain bit of the female body is there for pleasure only? I am merely encouraging you to find out things in detail before you ever get married; not to persuade you that everything i say has to be true.
Reply 27
Original post by Anonymous
I have searched and I am confused. The overall opinion is that yeah it is considered haraam however my friend didn’t techncially masturbate she used a pillow but legit didn’t orgasm/come so idk what the rulings are on that


Masturbation can involve everyday objects and one doesn't have to orgasm to call it masturbation! It is sexual stimulation. A difficult one. People will just give you an opinion on whether they agree with it or not! What is a person meant to do with natural feelings then?
Yeah I don’t know.
Original post by mgi
Masturbation can involve everyday objects and one doesn't have to orgasm to call it masturbation! It is sexual stimulation. A difficult one. People will just give you an opinion on whether they agree with it or not! What is a person meant to do with natural feelings then?
Reply 29
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah I don’t know.


It is your body and your needs that you are talking about and therefore you owe it to yourself to find out what your holy text actually says and not what an extremist or a cultural muslims opinions are! Pleasuring oneself is actually a good way to deal with initial and natural sexual desires! If one attaches guilt to it then it becomes a problem for you not for other people- unless you tell them the details!
I get what your saying. However self sexual stimulation is still not allowed in Islam you just need to be patient and wait until your married :smile: that’s my view and what the overall view is from other Muslims

Original post by mgi
It is your body and your needs that you are talking about and therefore you owe it to yourself to find out what your holy text actually says and not what an extremist or a cultural muslims opinions are! Pleasuring oneself is actually a good way to deal with initial and natural sexual desires! If one attaches guilt to it then it becomes a problem for you not for other people- unless you tell them the details!
! ! ! DO READ PLZ ! ! !

The urge for masturbation, in my opinion, is mainly caused as a response to stress. Masturbation releases dopamine chemical in the brain, which masks the feeling of stress. However, there are other chemicals too which reduce stress and make you feel happy. These are a group of chemicals known as endorphins, which are mainly released as a response to pain.

I believe from my personal experience that endorphins can alleviate the urge to masturbate. They may or may not help you, but I strongly urge you to try.

Like I said, endorophins are released mainly in response to pain, so what we need is to feel pain. By 'pain' here, I do not mean the injurious type of pain, but I mean the good kind of pain, caused by activities such as intense excercise, taking a hot shower, or eating spicy food.

One of the best ways I have found is to do excercises which hurt. I feel a 'high' after doing them until I can not move anymore. They release enough endorphins to completely eradicate the urge to masturbate, for the day at least. So, why not you try and find out?

-----------------------------------------------

That was the end of my answer, however if you need some help getting started, then these are some of the excercises which can tire you out in 10-15 mins of doing them:
Dips.
Pistol squats.
Pull ups.
Body saw.
Decline push ups.
Dumbell thruster.
Dumbell side lateral raise.

(You may take a hot shower after excercise).
Reply 32
Original post by Anonymous
! ! ! DO READ PLZ ! ! !

The urge for masturbation, in my opinion, is mainly caused as a response to stress. Masturbation releases dopamine chemical in the brain, which masks the feeling of stress. However, there are other chemicals too which reduce stress and make you feel happy. These are a group of chemicals known as endorphins, which are mainly released as a response to pain.

I believe from my personal experience that endorphins can alleviate the urge to masturbate. They may or may not help you, but I strongly urge you to try.

Like I said, endorophins are released mainly in response to pain, so what we need is to feel pain. By 'pain' here, I do not mean the injurious type of pain, but I mean the good kind of pain, caused by activities such as intense excercise, taking a hot shower, or eating spicy food.

One of the best ways I have found is to do excercises which hurt. I feel a 'high' after doing them until I can not move anymore. They release enough endorphins to completely eradicate the urge to masturbate, for the day at least. So, why not you try and find out?

-----------------------------------------------

That was the end of my answer, however if you need some help getting started, then these are some of the excercises which can tire you out in 10-15 mins of doing them:
Dips.
Pistol squats.
Pull ups.
Body saw.
Decline push ups.
Dumbell thruster.
Dumbell side lateral raise.

(You may take a hot shower after excercise).

Of no use whatsover. It is not about stress. Exercise may raise testosterone and increase the sex drive. Hot showers are unpleasant after exercise. Cooler ones are better.
Original post by mgi
Of no use whatsover. It is not about stress. Exercise may raise testosterone and increase the sex drive. Hot showers are unpleasant after exercise. Cooler ones are better.

The testosterone raise after heavy lifting is extremely small and lasts a very short time not enough to feel the increase in libido. Also you are more likely to masturbate when stressed to release dopamine to take your mind off the stress.
Original post by mgi
Of no use whatsover. It is not about stress. Exercise may raise testosterone and increase the sex drive. Hot showers are unpleasant after exercise. Cooler ones are better.

Exercise such as aerobics, which are aimed at increasing movement and heart rate, can increase sexual feelings. However, exercises aimed at building strength, such as weight lifting, eradicate feelings of sexuality.

Naturally, your body does not want to waste its semen unnecessarily. The urge for masturbation comes to have fun and/or avoid stress. Exercise has many benefits, and improving sex life is one of them. That is because your body does not feel the need to waste its precious resources (semen), that is why you will have much of them available for your spouse, if you have any. If you do not have a spouse, then your body will absorb the semen to use it for other things, such as building muscle after exercise.

You are a reputable member, so please take some time to think on my answer rather than quickly passing a derogatory comment.

I did not come here to waste others time and my answer is based on valid experience.
Reply 35
Original post by Anonymous
Exercise such as aerobics, which are aimed at increasing movement and heart rate, can increase sexual feelings. However, exercises aimed at building strength, such as weight lifting, eradicate feelings of sexuality.

Naturally, your body does not want to waste its semen unnecessarily. The urge for masturbation comes to have fun and/or avoid stress. Exercise has many benefits, and improving sex life is one of them. That is because your body does not feel the need to waste its precious resources (semen), that is why you will have much of them available for your spouse, if you have any. If you do not have a spouse, then your body will absorb the semen to use it for other things, such as building muscle after exercise.

You are a reputable member, so please take some time to think on my answer rather than quickly passing a derogatory comment.

I did not come here to waste others time and my answer is based on valid experience.

No. What derogatory statement? I am just disagreeing with you. You have not posted a single scienxe reference for a series of highly debatable statements and assumptions which ,also clearly show that you are not married. Marriage does not automatically deal with one's sexual desires. Have you heard of sexless marriages?, intimacy issues in marriage ? not enough sex in marriage issues?
And what about your "semen" remark? What is the reference research for this?
How would stress be relieved by masturbation? give some published research on this matter?!
Original post by mgi
No. What derogatory statement? I am just disagreeing with you. You have not posted a single scienxe reference for a series of highly debatable statements and assumptions which ,also clearly show that you are not married. Marriage does not automatically deal with one's sexual desires. Have you heard of sexless marriages?, intimacy issues in marriage ? not enough sex in marriage issues?
And what about your "semen" remark? What is the reference research for this?
How would stress be relieved by masturbation? give some published research on this matter?!

Alright, I got carried away with the assumptions. Sorry about that. However, I still firmly support my previous answer on how to stop masturbation, and I think that is enough.
Please read my detailed answer on Quora on how to stop this habit:

https://qr.ae/pNyQgO

I hope it helps you.

Quick Reply

Latest