One of my traits - good or bad

Coming from the other side. I notice people switch off or change , I am being genuine but I do notice it.

Yeah, which is probs hard aswell from ur end. Once u

Coming from the other side. I notice people switch off or change , I am being genuine but I do notice it

I just wanted to ask about something that I always do and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. If it’s a bad thing how do I go about changing it or controlling it. Basically what it is, when I meet someone such as friends or family member. If I notice a certain outlet or behaviour that almost in a way shows there real self I instantly switch off, I still respect them but In some sense it’s lost. Especially if it’s a family member even if they acted nicely before if I see them acting in a wrong manner more than once I just don’t respond in a loving way if that makes sense. I’m just worried that I will do that too a genuinely nice person, like future spouse or future friend.

This sounds quite similar to me. It’s when I expect them to do not a certain trait especially when they portray it like that, but they still go ahead and do something insensitive or off putting, I just get sort of emotionally detached, I don’t see them in the same light and I become distant.

That’s exactly how I am. I don’t see them the way I did before, but then again I’m worried that i might be doing that to a genuinely decent person and it’s just all in my mind.

You can kind of get a gut feeling and can sometimes gauge from other people whether the person is genuine or not. I generally see good in people unless they give me a clear reason not to, but then again I’m quite a softie so I’ll just overlook their mistakes and try and give them the benefit of the doubt

I always try and nice to whoever, unless someone is really bad. I do notice when people have their guard up. I think now being nice is seen as a weakness. Its funny people say fake it to make it yet that's not being the real you!

When I finally have someone open up to me, and show me all their vulnerabilities, I stop caring about them, or whatevr I was feeling for them that I initally felt. I sense that I become more manipulative as soon as I realise I have power over them in this way. I'm not sure what to make of it, and as this is a triat I found myself having, I wonder what others may think?

Also, I think the trait you have is completely normal. You sense distrust, which naturally makes you up your guard to prevent being hurt by this person. Hence, you switch off, to avoid potential emotional pain. A protective mechanism.

You just simply have a defense mechanism, which you probably need to tone down in some contexts.

I think it’s only now that I know it’s my defence mechanism, I didn’t really see it that way before. I think now that I just have to give ppl time and step back a bit and think of them of how they were before I put my wall up again

I’ve never actually seen anyone open up about that trait. Quick question tho? U mentioned that when ppl open up and show there vulnerable u switch but do u open up and show ur vulnerability’s or do u put up that wall and try to manipulate others so that they don’t hurt u first in a way.

What u said about my protective mechanism I completey agree. Now I know why I have that trait - just a way to protect myself.

I may open up about myself, but I've come to simply be emotionally detached. The people who open themselves up to me, they are my plaything, until I get bored of them. i consider hurting them, but so far, it feels inconvenient. Unless they interest me. Or, if I wanted to feel a bit of power, I'd exploit the power they give me, over them, making them emotionally dependent on me, until I finish.

A time apart from people should help you clear your mind. By the way, are you female? How old are you?