Is it shallow to expect a partner to learn to drive?

Ive dated guys older than me who haven’t drove and can’t help but feel resentment sometimes. People who don’t drive often say they don’t rely on others but in reality they do. It’s things like going away on holiday it’s nice to relax in the passenger seat rather than being the one doing all the driving.

Then when it comes to shopping I have to go on every occasion. Medical appointments- I can drive him if he needs to get to medical appointments in an emergency but I’d be screwed if it was me lol.

Do you know what I mean?

No.

will you be providing private practice or

Reply 3

username5445420

20

Original post by Anonymous

Ive dated guys older than me who haven’t drove and can’t help but feel resentment sometimes. People who don’t drive often say they don’t rely on others but in reality they do. It’s things like going away on holiday it’s nice to relax in the passenger seat rather than being the one doing all the driving.

Then when it comes to shopping I have to go on every occasion. Medical appointments- I can drive him if he needs to get to medical appointments in an emergency but I’d be screwed if it was me lol.

Do you know what I mean?

In an emergency the medics go to you rather than vice versa. It doesn't matter. I see why you would prefer your partner to drive though, it's a useful skill (needless to say).

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sufys12

In an emergency the medics go to you rather than vice versa. It doesn't matter. I see why you would prefer your partner to drive though, it's a useful skill (needless to say).

Not these days 😄 I’m talking things like if you need to be dropped off at the walking centre or what if I fractured my foot/can’t drive for 6 weeks. If we happened to have kids in future who would drive then

Reply 5

username5445420

20

Original post by Anonymous

Not these days 😄 I’m talking things like if you need to be dropped off at the walking centre or what if I fractured my foot/can’t drive for 6 weeks. If we happened to have kids in future who would drive then

All these are unlikely hypothetical scenarios.

Reply 6

londonmyst

19

No, not shallow. :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sufys12

All these are unlikely hypothetical scenarios.

Good to know let’s hope I never break anything then and can always drive

Reply 8

LexiLoo2

10

It's not shallow :smile:

There will always be an expectation of you to offer to drive if you're the only one that can.

Reply 9

username5445420

20

Original post by Anonymous

Good to know let’s hope I never break anything then and can always drive

Of course they are very possible. If you can, do get a partner who drives. It is much better- you don't have the burden of having to drive all the time.

Reply 10

Apachecow

19

Both my partner and I can drive, but if we did a 10 hour drive I would do it all.

In rural areas everyone can drive. In cities it's less important. I think private car ownership will get more difficult and more costly (look at the congestion charging and smoke free zones appearing everywhere). Everyone driving will become less common.

No point spending £1000's of pounds if you live in a flat in central London. If you live in a tiny rural village and need to drive to see each other, then yes, learn.

Reply 11

username5875312

16

unless you're footing the bill for the driving lessons i don't think you should expect them to learn to drive

Reply 12

Napp

22

Sort of, on the one hand if he refuses to get a license then he can hardly expect you to be a personal taxi service but on the other if he doesnt want to get a license, especially considering how much effort it is, he doesnt have to. Inclined to say you should tell him to do his own damn errands though

Reply 13

black tea

19

Original post by Anonymous

Medical appointments- I can drive him if he needs to get to medical appointments in an emergency but I’d be screwed if it was me lol.

Buses and taxis are a thing, you know...

Reply 14

Fruli

21

Original post by Anonymous

Ive dated guys older than me who haven’t drove and can’t help but feel resentment sometimes. People who don’t drive often say they don’t rely on others but in reality they do. It’s things like going away on holiday it’s nice to relax in the passenger seat rather than being the one doing all the driving.

Then when it comes to shopping I have to go on every occasion. Medical appointments- I can drive him if he needs to get to medical appointments in an emergency but I’d be screwed if it was me lol.

Do you know what I mean?

Assuming you are a female. How do you end up with guys who can’t drive?

Maybe it says something about your choices. Careful you don’t end up being a doormat or the opposite (wearing the trousers).

Reply 15

black tea

19

Original post by Fruli

Careful you don’t end up [...] wearing the trousers

Why is this a problem, sorry? There is absolutely no problem with a woman "wearing the trouser" in a relationship if that is what both parties want and are happy with...

Reply 16

Tw1x

21

Original post by Fruli

Assuming you are a female. How do you end up with guys who can’t drive?

Maybe it says something about your choices. Careful you don’t end up being a doormat or the opposite (wearing the trousers).

In what way exactly? Not everybody wants or has the desire to drive. As long as they are not expecting the OP to 'ferry them around' what exactly is the issue?

Reply 17

Tw1x

21

Original post by black tea

Why is this a problem, sorry? There is absolutely no problem with a woman "wearing the trouser" in a relationship if that is what both parties want and are happy with...