Hi, I am in a lesbian relationship. Me and my gf fell in love while she was in another, long-term relationship for a good 7 years. She broke up with her ex over me and immediately we started a relationship, which is going very well, we have good sex, communication, but sometimes we fight because of slight incompatibilities. Overall, however, I can attest to the fact that she seems very much in love with me, she cares about me and we have so much fun.
Anyway, with her ex they had a strictly platonic relationship as my gf lost sexual attraction to her from the first months of their relationship already (they stopped having sex altogether). However, they still had a very strong, codependent and affectionate bond and continued the relationship until she met and fell in love with me. Then my gf realized that she only saw her ex as a best friend and not as a lover and that she could not continue their 'relationship' .
We don't live together . I thought, based on my gf's confession, that her ex had moved out of their flat (house belongs to my gf only) when they broke up. However, it seems that they still live together (the ex has some financial issues but still) and sleep in the same bed throughout all this time (the house has more than one bedroom). What is more, my gf texts her every day saying that she misses her and twice she told her that she is the love of her life, that she is not in love with me and does not love me and that she can't wait to have experiences with her, like holidays etc and that she wishes she (her ex) was a little kitten so that she could carry her on her all the time (!). Throughout their relationship, my gf would call her ex 'kitten' and she would act like the mom of the kitten, taking care of her. She would act very mother-like towards her ex.
She even makes holiday plans with her and still calls her sweet names, although obviously much less than before. When her ex acts a bit distant in the texts they exchange, my gf asks her 'why aren't you sweet with me'? Please tell me you miss me'. She also says that she can't be emotionally involved with anyone else because she thinks of her all the time and she cries over her. However, when her ex asked her if they could get back together she said no because their relationship was not of a truly 'romantic/sexual' type and my gf needs sex and romantic attraction in her life.
I know all this because I saw messages on her phone when she left it accidentally at home one day. All this has been going on since day one from their break up.
I don't know how to feel. I mean I know she is in love with me, she likes sex with me and I also know that she is not attracted to her ex at all so I know they are not getting physical and that these messages are not suspicious. Her ex still very much wants her mind you. What truly bothers me that she hid from me the fact that they still live together (when she does not sleep at my place) and that she texts her ex that she misses her. I don't mind the daily exchanges but only the content of them. Perhaps she is guilty because she dumped her for me and now the ex is suffering and all these are lies to relieve her conscience but still. I know its a different type of love than ours, mostly of the friendly type but I am wondering if this is normal or she is not 100% into me as I used to think, especially because she said she is not in love with me, even though it seems otherwise. I can't admit what I saw to her, because I feel extremely bad for violating her privacy. Any thoughts? What should I make of this whole thing?
Sorry for my English, not a native speaker.