Why don't guys ever seem to like me? Watch

MagicNMedicine
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#21
Report 3 years ago
#21
(Original post by GeekLane)
See, even when my hair was longer though it was still always the same. I'm growing it out now anyways as I'm sick of being taken the piss out of. Honestly, longer hair did nothing for me. It just hid my face and with me being so short, made me look as if I was drowning in hair. Long or short hair, the problem has always been the same
Don't get hung up on this analysis, some girls suit shorter hair, some longer. Guys have different preferences anyway.

The problem when you start from the question "why don't guys like me" is that it's a negative question and you're searching for negative things about yourself. It will make you feel worse about yourself then you will find an answer that you explain to yourself and become obsessive about changing it, and then feel worse if you change it and nothing happens. Loads of young people get like this and they develop obsessions about their weight, skin, nose or whatever and it becomes a barrier in their head as it makes them feel bad about themselves.

You're better reframing the question as "what kind of image would I like to have and what would make me feel cool". Experiment with different styles, looks, attitudes, hobbies etc, people go through loads of different images from the age 17 to 27 and through trying different things you find out who you are over time.

You will probably be frustrated by advice like "don't change just to get guys" which is well meant but not really what you want as when you feel lonely and frustrated then getting at least some attention from guys is what it's about. But don't despair on this - as you move through the next few years you'll find yourself in different situations and right now when you've just been in school/college you can't imagine what unexpected opportunities will be ahead.

Do you plan to go to university? If you do, at uni you will be living away with a load of other new people. You will be with people on your course who are more academic like you, you will meet people through uni accommodation, through course, any societies you do, if you get a part-time job, there are loads of opportunities to make new friends, better friends than you will have had before in the limited circle of people you have access to in school/college. When you hang out with them you will meet friends of friends and so on. You'll be a few years older and a bit further on in the journey of finding who you are and your best image so you'll be more confident than you are now. That kind of situation is way way removed from the situation you are in now so you shouldn't think "no guys are interested in me now = that's how it's always gonna be". Trust me things will happen that you can't imagine now.
1
reply
GeekLane
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#22
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#22
(Original post by MagicNMedicine)
Don't get hung up on this analysis, some girls suit shorter hair, some longer. Guys have different preferences anyway.

The problem when you start from the question "why don't guys like me" is that it's a negative question and you're searching for negative things about yourself. It will make you feel worse about yourself then you will find an answer that you explain to yourself and become obsessive about changing it, and then feel worse if you change it and nothing happens. Loads of young people get like this and they develop obsessions about their weight, skin, nose or whatever and it becomes a barrier in their head as it makes them feel bad about themselves.

You're better reframing the question as "what kind of image would I like to have and what would make me feel cool". Experiment with different styles, looks, attitudes, hobbies etc, people go through loads of different images from the age 17 to 27 and through trying different things you find out who you are over time.

You will probably be frustrated by advice like "don't change just to get guys" which is well meant but not really what you want as when you feel lonely and frustrated then getting at least some attention from guys is what it's about. But don't despair on this - as you move through the next few years you'll find yourself in different situations and right now when you've just been in school/college you can't imagine what unexpected opportunities will be ahead.

Do you plan to go to university? If you do, at uni you will be living away with a load of other new people. You will be with people on your course who are more academic like you, you will meet people through uni accommodation, through course, any societies you do, if you get a part-time job, there are loads of opportunities to make new friends, better friends than you will have had before in the limited circle of people you have access to in school/college. When you hang out with them you will meet friends of friends and so on. You'll be a few years older and a bit further on in the journey of finding who you are and your best image so you'll be more confident than you are now. That kind of situation is way way removed from the situation you are in now so you shouldn't think "no guys are interested in me now = that's how it's always gonna be". Trust me things will happen that you can't imagine now.
I am planning to hopefully go to uni, yes! And thank you, that's probably the best advice I've been given
0
reply
Zechs
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#23
Report 3 years ago
#23
(Original post by GeekLane)
What I mean is there's a group of guys that just pick on me purely because of my haircut and make me feel ugly... I'm growing it so they will leave me alone. I guess your right but no one really cares for my personality either. I can't win
They sound like idiots doing that in secondary school.
0
reply
GeekLane
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#24
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#24
(Original post by Mancini)
They sound like idiots doing that in secondary school.
I thought that too but either way it still gets to me
0
reply
Dan.N
Badges: 6
Rep:
?
#25
Report 3 years ago
#25
Seems like you r pretty ready for relationships with guys? I don't think you are unattractive, but sometimes it's quite difficult to explain the reasons for your situation.
Maybe there are too many hot chicks around you, and you don't always highlight yourself in a bunch of gals? You can try new ways of clothing, hair, make-up...sometimes the dudes are blind enough not to see your attractiveness
And...the right person should come at the right time so no worries, the thing a girl should do is to make herself be pretty, focus on your study/work. Your boy should come soon
0
reply
GeekLane
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#26
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#26
(Original post by Dan.N)
Seems like you r pretty ready for relationships with guys? I don't think you are unattractive, but sometimes it's quite difficult to explain the reasons for your situation.
Maybe there are too many hot chicks around you, and you don't always highlight yourself in a bunch of gals? You can try new ways of clothing, hair, make-up...sometimes the dudes are blind enough not to see your attractiveness
And...the right person should come at the right time so no worries, the thing a girl should do is to make herself be pretty, focus on your study/work. Your boy should come soon
I guess the issue could be that I tend to shy into the background sometimes, I guess like you said the "hot chicks" are more confident and get the first look. But you're right, thanks!
0
reply
shawn_o1
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#27
Report 3 years ago
#27
I agree OP, thoughts like that of the thread title are only going to make you unhappy and obsessed with yourself. Your studies should come first, then your hobbies
0
reply
Proxenus
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#28
Report 3 years ago
#28
(Original post by GeekLane)
It sounds silly to ask but, I don't think I'm exactly ugly, I've been told I'm quite pretty by girls and adults but never guys. I have quite low esteem when it comes to my appearance, so I don't really rate myself too highly but at the same time I know I'm not 100% ugly. I guess I'm a nice person too, I tend to put others before myself and I'm always there for advice when anyone needs it. I work hard at school so, I'm far from stupid to be honest, but I can be quite shy when it comes to approaching people but once I get talking I can talk for hours on end and tend to make people laugh. The only problem is that I'm always the girl who is dismissed by guys. I'm either completely ignored as if I'm invisible or they make fun of me (usually about my hair as apparently it's a "lesbian hair cut" and because of my height as I'm only 5'1") I don't understand what the problem with me is.
I'd say it's the hair. Guys generally prefer long hair. Can't see your face well from phone but it looks good have you considered growing it?

Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#29
Report 3 years ago
#29
Be confident in yourself, make eye contact, smile, have good posture.

I agree with the hair, your could be a lot better.

Wearing nice clothes will help a lot too!

Also developing a good personality, having fun, having a laugh, having a sense of humour and a passion for life can significantly help and this will vibrate outwards.

Good luck
0
reply
Bupdeeboowah
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#30
Report 3 years ago
#30
Become a lesbian, join the dark side with me.
0
reply
GeekLane
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#31
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#31
(Original post by Proxenus)
I'd say it's the hair. Guys generally prefer long hair. Can't see your face well from phone but it looks good have you considered growing it?

Posted from TSR Mobile
I am growing my hair out anyways but, I don't see how one minor thing like a haircut can be a big turn off, it suits me better short
0
reply
Mystery.
Badges: 21
#32
Report 3 years ago
#32
:five:
0
reply
daydream28
Badges: 8
Rep:
?
#33
Report 3 years ago
#33
In your picture, you are very pretty Personally I think that if you are happier with short hair, then you should keep it at that length. Some guys love long hair, some guys love short. I have pretty short hair, and guys have told me, you'd look so pretty with long hair.. but I like it short and I will keep it that way. Just give it time, you are still very young. The most attractive thing is confidence.. it's not necessarily the best-looking people who have the most people interested in them.
I know people who I wouldn't consider drop-dead-gorgeous, both men and women, but they are for some reason irresistible to others, because they have got charisma.
I would say, don't go looking for anyone, and just focus on what you enjoy doing, and your friends and family. Guys will naturally notice that you are confident, happy in yourself, and this will draw them to you.. good luck
0
reply
Proxenus
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#34
Report 3 years ago
#34
(Original post by GeekLane)
I am growing my hair out anyways but, I don't see how one minor thing like a haircut can be a big turn off, it suits me better short
nah hair is pretty important! its one of the first things people notice.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

what's your favourite season?

Summer (62)
32.8%
Spring (35)
18.52%
Autumn/Fall (46)
24.34%
Winter (36)
19.05%
I love them all equally (10)
5.29%

Watched Threads

View All