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He's just wasn't that into me after all? watch

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    I met this guy on Tuesday night who seemed really nice, and we had a really good chat for few hours. In retrospect, it seemed that there were several body language clues that he might've been flirting with me, but I am really clueless at telling the difference between 'you're a cool human being' and 'you're a cool human being who I find attractive'. Anyway, at the end of the evening, he didn't ask me for my contact details or anything, although he was still being flirtatious (I said to him "You're very hirsute" to which he replied "Yes, that was why I was asking if you liked beards" [in a shy way, not horrible and salacious though].

    I was trying to do the whole 'he's just not that into you' thing, and figured if he didn't ask for any way to keep in touch then I would just leave it, but afterwards I kept thinking about it, and it seemed like I might've missed a trick. On Saturday I found him on Facebook, added him and sent him a little message. Today he has responded, in a friendly way, but he hasn't asked me any questions (like about what I've done since Tuesday or anything like that) or really given me any encouragement to write back to him.

    Now I don't know what to do, because he is one of those guys who has like 600 friends, so he probably just sees me contacting him as nothing. To be honest, now I don't know whether I was just being stupid and he was just being as polite/friendly as he would be to any woman. What should I do? My whole reasoning for not asking him out to his face on the Tuesday is that I'm sick of always having to be the one running after guys. Should I send him another message which is more direct, or should I just leave it seeing as he doesn't really seem that excited I've contacted him?

    EDIT - OK, sorry to bump, but just a bit annoyed.

    I wrote back to him at about 11pm Monday night with a bit longer message - just to test the waters because I don't think there is anything there - with two questions in it, and I was expecting him not to write back at all, or just to respond and not ask anything back, whereupon I would've called it quits.

    However, just now he has written back, and after replying to one of my questions, asked me a really simple question (non-personal, factual) about something (relevant to our previous discussion) but that could easily be solved in 1 second by Googling! Does this mean he wants to keep the conversation going, or is just lazy?!


    P.S. - Dumbass spelling mistake in title, I know
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    Sounds like he cba.
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    Hmmm, without being party to the flirtations, and without being able to guess the 'tone' of the reply message it's rather difficult to make any sort of assumptions. You're already assuming that because he's got 600 friends he's not bothered to have another, when in reality you just don't know that.

    I'd play it by ear, keep in contact and keep it friendly. OR you could just think f-it and ask him out. Some guys just suck at making the first move. It's entirely up to you where you go from here. You either forget about him completely, or ask him out. There doesn't seem to be many more options!
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    If I were to count up the number of times I wrote Talk. To. Him in comments on threads on TSR I would send myself to sleep.

    Talk. To. Him. There is zero point second guessing. Please just talk to him.
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    Since you found him on Facebook and left him a message, it might seem like your chasing him, so don't leave another message. But you don't want to leave it, so try find out where he'll be, like if he leaves a comment on facebook saying where he's going, just happen to be there. If he sees you enough but nevr talks to you before you talk to him he probably isn't interested.
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    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    Hmmm, without being party to the flirtations, and without being able to guess the 'tone' of the reply message it's rather difficult to make any sort of assumptions. You're already assuming that because he's got 600 friends he's not bothered to have another, when in reality you just don't know that.

    I'd play it by ear, keep in contact and keep it friendly. OR you could just think f-it and ask him out. Some guys just suck at making the first move. It's entirely up to you where you go from here. You either forget about him completely, or ask him out. There doesn't seem to be many more options!
    He said: "heyo. yeah we made it back in style. i have been spotting chavs like mad! it seems so obvious once they are identified! sainsbury's was a chav madhouse today! i still have a massive wine stain in my tux shirt..." (He's not from the UK and I had been trying to explain the 'chav phenomenon' to him - no offence to anyone who identifies as such!).

    Just friendly right? I mean, he doesn't really show any interest in asking about me...
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    (Original post by Scenic88)
    I met this guy on Tuesday night who seemed really nice, and we had a really good chat for few hours. In retrospect, it seemed that there were several body language clues that he might've been flirting with me, but I am really clueless at telling the difference between 'you're a cool human being' and 'you're a cool human being who I find attractive'. Anyway, at the end of the evening, he didn't ask me for my contact details or anything, although he was still being flirtatious (I said to him "You're very hirsute" to which he replied "Yes, that was why I was asking if you liked beards" [in a shy way, not horrible and salacious though].

    I was trying to do the whole 'he's just not that into you' thing, and figured if he didn't ask for any way to keep in touch then I would just leave it, but afterwards I kept thinking about it, and it seemed like I might've missed a trick. On Saturday I found him on Facebook, added him and sent him a little message. Today he has responded, in a friendly way, but he hasn't asked me any questions (like about what I've done since Tuesday or anything like that) or really given me any encouragement to write back to him.

    Now I don't know what to do, because he is one of those guys who has like 600 friends, so he probably just sees me contacting him as nothing. To be honest, now I don't know whether I was just being stupid and he was just being as polite/friendly as he would be to any woman. What should I do? My whole reasoning for not asking him out to his face on the Tuesday is that I'm sick of always having to be the one running after guys. Should I send him another message which is more direct, or should I just leave it seeing as he doesn't really seem that excited I've contacted him?

    If I was in his situation I would think you had something for me already...you can just talk to him normally without killing him with questions...if something is meant to happen it will...if not it wont.
    Although from what you've described here so far he doesnt really seem that interested...in saying that, having 600 friends on Facebook means he has 600 friends on Facebook nothing more.
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    (Original post by hollyhollywood92)
    Since you found him on Facebook and left him a message, it might seem like your chasing him, so don't leave another message. But you don't want to leave it, so try find out where he'll be, like if he leaves a comment on facebook saying where he's going, just happen to be there. If he sees you enough but nevr talks to you before you talk to him he probably isn't interested.
    =stalking. Surely.
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    (Original post by Scenic88)
    He said: "heyo. yeah we made it back in style. i have been spotting chavs like mad! it seems so obvious once they are identified! sainsbury's was a chav madhouse today! i still have a massive wine stain in my tux shirt..." (He's not from the UK and I had been trying to explain the 'chav phenomenon' to him - no offence to anyone who identifies as such!).

    Just friendly right? I mean, he doesn't really show any interest in asking about me...
    He's making conversation, it'd be worse if he was just like, 'hey, how are you' cuz THAT shows he's not interested he's just trying to be polite. Don't worry if he doesn't ask you out straight away- He's not gonna ask you out on facebook anyway and it's GOOD thing that he's getting to know you first
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    (Original post by JonoDrew)
    =stalking. Surely.
    Basically
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    Ummm... leave it a few days, then send him a message, see if he wants to meet up again. If you get nothing, drop it.

    Also "He is just was not that into me after all?" makes no sense! :p:
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    Leave him more comments he'll then start chatting againn....Hopefully :L
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    (Original post by hollyhollywood92)
    Basically
    Call me old fashioned, but stalkers are not people you decide do go out with. Stalkers are people you try your hardest to get away from.
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    OP Just be friendly and chatty when you see him

    Do not keep messaging him
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    (Original post by Rokit)
    OP Just be friendly and chatty when you see him

    Do not keep messaging him
    Except I probably won't see him unless I/he did arrange to meet up
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    (Original post by Scenic88)
    Except I probably won't see him unless I/he did arrange to meet up
    Oh so you guys arent in the same uni or school or anything. If there were no opportunities in real life, I would play this little game ( abit childish but fun)

    Make your FB profile as vibrant as possible without looking like an attention seeking fool. Make sure every photo put up of you is a nice one, you want to seem interesting, busy and happy

    Ok I cant actually go on until I know what stage of life you are at. Are you at school, uni or retired? And this guy?
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    (Original post by JonoDrew)
    Call me old fashioned, but stalkers are not people you decide do go out with. Stalkers are people you try your hardest to get away from.
    I didn't mean to like wait outside is house every night and follow him everywhere! What I did was I found out he was going to a cafe with some friends, so i asked some people if they wanted to go down there, and we were there before him, and they sat with us. And i knew he was in the libary a lot so i went there more often. It made him notice me, and he asked me out. 7 weeks, oh yeah!
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    (Original post by Rokit)
    Oh so you guys arent in the same uni or school or anything. If there were no opportunities in real life, I would play this little game ( abit childish but fun)

    Make your FB profile as vibrant as possible without looking like an attention seeking fool. Make sure every photo put up of you is a nice one, you want to seem interesting, busy and happy

    Ok I cant actually go on until I know what stage of life you are at. Are you at school, uni or retired? And this guy?

    No, we are both at the same uni, but completely different departments and colleges, so the only time I would ever see him is if we bumped into each other randomly (and he is doing a PhD so unlikely). I see where you're going with the FB thing, but doubt he is going to look at my profile overly as he doesn't seem like the sort of person to pore over that sort of thing.
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    (Original post by hollyhollywood92)
    I didn't mean to like wait outside is house every night and follow him everywhere! What I did was I found out he was going to a cafe with some friends, so i asked some people if they wanted to go down there, and we were there before him, and they sat with us. And i knew he was in the libary a lot so i went there more often. It made him notice me, and he asked me out. 7 weeks, oh yeah!
    You're a little bit scary.
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    I'm not the only girl who does this, i'm the only one who admits it.
 
 
 
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