First sleepover with him and we didn't sleep in the same bed

Please advice because I'm losing my mind haha

So I've been talking to my crush for months now, paragraphs everyday. We haven't managed to meet up in person a lot yet because he hardly as time and was going through things

Last week he asked me if I want to go to a party with him and meet up beforehand. It's also been a while since he was out. So we met and it was great, we had a lot of eye contact and smiling at me and physical contact but lowkey like our arms touching when standing next to each other, and he took me away from the bar and all our mutuals and we went to eat together too then went back, and we went home together as well but both to our own place

Now yesterday on Saturday I went to a concert, a local band. I posted on instagram that I'll be there and after the first band suddenly he's there too telling me he had messaged me he'll be there too as he's changed his mind. I was positively shocked haha, we just talked the whole night, then left together in his car, went to eat something and then the plan was my mother's going to pick me up but that didn't happen and I slept at his place. We watched something on the couch but nothing happened ever, he was smiling at me a lot but that may have been because I was drunk and he wasn't? He asked me where I want to sleep. I said he should tell me. That conversation went on and on, he asked where I usually sleep bed or couch and I said bed. I sar on the floor and he kept smiling at me, I asked him what and he said "nothing" Yes I thought I'm going to sleep in his bed but well that didn't happen because he brought me into his guest room. I kind of died inside haha

When I left though he brought me to the door and hugged me kind of tight and as he let go he like held onto my back for a moment and said something like "Well now we've spent a lot of time together this weekend, maybe we could repeat that sometime"

I'm so worried he doesn't like me like that. What does this mean please

Reply 1

Lawkiddd

I don’t think that he dislikes you but maybe he genuinely doesn’t want to make u uncomfortable

Reply 2

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

he was smiling at me a lot but that may have been because I was drunk and he wasn't?

Honestly, given that you'd had literally no physically intimacy at all up to this point, it sounds to me like he didn't want to take advantage of you while you were drunk. I think it's a good thing. Frankly, if you want to take things further (and you clearly do), you need to stop playing around and actually ask him out. Because at the moment you seem to be in this phase where you want all the thrill of a physical relationship but without any of the risk of being rejected, and that just can't carry on for long. Think about this. You have never kissed and are not dating, but are disappointed because you didn't get to sleep in his bed with him? There are a few steps you need to go through before that. So ask him out, and assuming he does feel the same way, maybe sleeping his bed next time you're at his place will feel like a more natural thing to do for both of you.

Reply 3

StriderHort

Guy did the decent thing by giving a drunk girl who couldn't make it home their own bed/room and avoiding temptation.

As Jamie said it's a bit presumptuous to assume you'd be jumping in bed with the guy just like that with no lead up. It wasn't like this was a planned date or night with any expectations.

(I dunno how drunk you were but but this might have felt like a warm fuzzy idea at the time, but you might have easily felt VERY different about it the next day, you don't want to be one of those people who has to post a thread here to the effect of 'I slept in this guys bed and I think he assaulted me'.)