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Reply 20
****. i hope that's never me.
Reply 21
phen
There's a difference between being nice, "nice" and a dick, the second being an arguable worst.

Orrr am I misunderstanding you and are you actually arguing that being "nice" is less bad than being a dick? I'm not really sure, I'm afraid.. kinda late, kinda tired. :P


I'd argue that the second is better than the last. For in being "nice", one surely does little harm, and the detriment is mostly to oneself. Being a dick harms and hurts others, which is far more morally abhorrent. Better then to be pathetic and be ignorant of it, than to be malevolent and be so willfully.

Edit: read my longer post above for a lengthier explanation.
vintage_007
I didn't read all of it because it's utter ***** - if you are a 'nice guy', you will find someone and that relationship will stay.

If you are genuinely nice, you are not doing anything wrong - keep being you :smile:

Don't completely discount this, there is a certain brand of men that are like this, there's a difference between genuinely nice but self assured and this. This used to be me, and you'd be surprised how true the thing about getting together with neurotic women was. This description is extreme, and quite over the top but there is some truth to it.
Reply 23
it was an interesting read, and makes a lot of sense in places, but ive met a lot of people who fit those descriptions who could a steady relationship.
Reply 24
For ****'s sake; this isn't about genuinely 'nice' guys (otherwise known as 'gentlemen'), but rather the stereotypical 'Nice Guy'. The author even goes so far as to make it a proper noun – what more evidence do you need?

No: suffice it to say that the difference between these two categories is as profound as between me four years ago, and me today.
It's been posted before, maybe a while back though...
domlague
Dunno... doesn't seem sarcastic to me, and I'd hate to see even one more guy start believing he needs to become a dick in order to get his way with girls. It's a tragic road to go down, that.

Having your own opinion and being assertive =! being a dick.

Nice Guys are manipulate in their own way. There is a difference between being nice and being a Nice Guy. Nice Guys put everyone else first and wonder why the hell they come last. They don't respect themselves and yet they demand respect. They aren't even being themselves. Oh well, I wish there were more around to be honest. More of them there are, less competition there is.
Reply 27
I know how to treat a woman such that I get considered a charmer and a gentleman but I'm also called cocky and arrogant... I know that's not good but that's some way off insecure. You can be nice without being a doormat, that's the fundamental difference.
Davezk
I know how to treat a woman such that I get considered a charmer and a gentleman but I'm also called cocky and arrogant... I know that's not good but that's some way off insecure. You can be nice without being a doormat, that's the fundamental difference.

:ditto:

To everything in that post, in fact it's so good I'm going to rep it
"This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

Right there. That very ******* sentence contradicts the whole entire essay. Let me substitute "nice guys" for "whales"...

"Nathan, Bob, and Charlie are considered "Nice Guys". Those 3 nice guys are considered losers (they always fail in relationships). Therefore, all "nice guys" are losers who fail in relationships."

Can't you see? It's just a typical false stereotype. Retard.
Reply 30
marcusmerehay
This is an almost exact representation of what goes on in my mind and in my life, as much as I like to put myself in denial.

It's quite probably the reason I'm so unlucky in love, but I can't stand being hated.


Listen, alot of that yes makes some sense, but actually the truth isn't so much what was written...

People, in general, enjoy to go for someone who intrigues them... most often, you get a nice guy and they are predictable. Whereas the ***hole guys, though still predictable, still intrigue women by the fact that they say they like/love that person and yet still don't treat them that much better, and it makes the woman crave (for lack of a better word) the guy's attention and affection.

TBH, i actually count as a nice guy, and though am quite introverted in general... I actually tend to exude an air of confidence so I am told. Never been able to get anyone for a while until i realised the just stated reason for what women look for, all I did was pay more attention to what they believe will happen, and twist my reaction a bit. Works brilliantly since they are still interested, but they still have a nice guy who (i also believe myself to be pretty romantic) is kinda romantic etc.

But, for women confidence tends to be a quality they look for in men.
Reply 31
It's worth stating at this point that confidence and nice aren't opposites in the english language thus you can be both.
Reply 32
vintage_007
I didn't read all of it because it's utter ***** - if you are a 'nice guy', you will find someone and that relationship will stay.

If you are genuinely nice, you are not doing anything wrong - keep being you :smile:


The article was incredibly accurate. The author wasn't talking about 'guys who are nice' (ie. good people) whe was talking about stereotypical 'nice guys'. You should have read the whole thing because that was the authors advice too: be yourself men, don't put on a cheesy romance show.
Reply 33
n0c0ntr0l
Having your own opinion and being assertive =! being a dick.

Nice Guys are manipulate in their own way. There is a difference between being nice and being a Nice Guy. Nice Guys put everyone else first and wonder why the hell they come last. They don't respect themselves and yet they demand respect. They aren't even being themselves. Oh well, I wish there were more around to be honest. More of them there are, less competition there is.


I swear I always run into you in relationship threads.

Just wanted to tell you, as always, you are very wise.
Reply 34
Jukukiwaiyi
"This is akin to the false logic that "Whales are mammals. Whales live in the sea. Therefore, all mammals live in the sea."

Right there. That very ******* sentence contradicts the whole entire essay. Let me substitute "nice guys" for "whales"...

"Nathan, Bob, and Charlie are considered "Nice Guys". Those 3 nice guys are considered losers (they always fail in relationships). Therefore, all "nice guys" are losers who fail in relationships."

Can't you see? It's just a typical false stereotype. Retard.


Well, if you wanted to substitute them it would have been more like

"Nice Guys are mammals. Nice Guys are losers. Therefore all mammals are losers."

And you do maths.
I am a nice guy but I am very insecure even when Im at the hyper end or happy or have a gorgeous girl grinding with me on the dancefloor(which never really happens these days but did when I was thin)

I see where the article is coming from but dont totally agree with it at least in my case, with me because I am insecure if I see a girl I like and flirt with her I do it more in a buddy way as I dont know how she feels and even if shes nice she may not be the one or I think if I get a girlfriend it means I cant be a loner etc not that I am clinging for attention.

For me a girl I would want to be a girlfriend is basically just a girl who is a friend but we fancy each other and will do things like kiss and cuddle or have sex and do stupid likes like poke each other and wind each other up like best friends.
Reply 36
EarlHickey
I am a nice guy but I am very insecure even when Im at the hyper end or happy or have a gorgeous girl grinding with me on the dancefloor(which never really happens these days but did when I was thin)

I see where the article is coming from but dont totally agree with it at least in my case, with me because I am insecure if I see a girl I like and flirt with her I do it more in a buddy way as I dont know how she feels and even if shes nice she may not be the one or I think if I get a girlfriend it means I cant be a loner etc not that I am clinging for attention.

For me a girl I would want to be a girlfriend is basically just a girl who is a friend but we fancy each other and will do things like kiss and cuddle or have sex and do stupid likes like poke each other and wind each other up like best friends.



Totally agree with you there!
Wow.

How do you define a nice guy then?
So much fail.
Reply 39
LOL at the people who don't understand the OP.

Don't delude yourself. Every girl who's been targeted by a "Nice Guy" in the past is going to recognise that description (and run a mile when she meets the next one). I guess you can't understand it unless you've been there.

That doesn't mean she'd go for a prick at all. (Are there only two types of guys in your world?) It just means she has some self-respect and will therefore fall for guys that respect themselves and her.


A more interesting exposition would maybe be the type of girls "Nice Guys" are attracted to. Although it's not really their fault (or maybe it is) ?

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