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Girls - Really serious relationship to an open one?
Question for the girls, if you were in a really serious long term committed relationship with a guy and you truly love him, he said he loves you but then he asks if you can have an open relationship...would you feel like that as a slap on the face?
I'm in this position right now, I want to ask her (because we're in a LDR) but I don't have the courage to do it I'm not sure how she'll react. I fear it may emotionally destroy her because she thinks the world of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable and heartless here?
I'm in this position right now, I want to ask her (because we're in a LDR) but I don't have the courage to do it I'm not sure how she'll react. I fear it may emotionally destroy her because she thinks the world of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable and heartless here?
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yes, it would be a massive slap in the face and completely destroy her self confidence. you dont love and respect her if you want to get with other people. imagine if it was the other way round. it would be a horrible thing to do.
Yes I would be gutted, obviously. Basically you're saying you want to screw around when you're away and then come back home to her. You can see how that is insulting surely? I mean yeah I guess it works for some couples, but I assume most of such relationships start as so. Going from a full on serious commitment to seeing other people too will only ever work if it's what both parties really want. I suppose the only way you can find out is by asking her, but bear in mind it may well backfire!
Personally no, but then that is me and my specific opinions on things like sex and relationships are quite different to some other people's. I would be interested in trying an open/polyamorous relationship if I trusted the person I was with, and also knew that they completely trusted me.
It sounds like you think it wouldn't be something she would be into. If you know she would be more comfortable in a secure monogomous relationship, I don't think you should ask.
The fact that it's a long distance relationship may make it being open more difficult for her, if she is used to you two being together with only eachother. I would imagine it would be far easier to get jealous or insecure if you can't see the person you are with every day.
Perhaps try an indirect way of bringing it up, rather than outright asking her to do it (which, if she is not interested, could really undermine her trust in you), simply ask her opinion on that sort of relationship, or ask if she ever felt like she wanted to sleep with someone else.
Another thing to consider is the practicality of finding other people to sleep with or whatever it is you want to do, without hurting them or leading them on. For some people, if you told them you had a girlfriend, they wouldn't feel comfortable doing anything with you. Or, they might think you are really wanting to end your relationship with her and start a new one. If you don't tell them, you risk leading them on - they could end up thinking you want to be in a relationship with them.
Whatever you decide, I'd advise you to go carefully and slowly. Consider whether you're doing this because you think it's the right thing for both of you, or just because you are bored or lonely.
It sounds like you think it wouldn't be something she would be into. If you know she would be more comfortable in a secure monogomous relationship, I don't think you should ask.
The fact that it's a long distance relationship may make it being open more difficult for her, if she is used to you two being together with only eachother. I would imagine it would be far easier to get jealous or insecure if you can't see the person you are with every day.
Perhaps try an indirect way of bringing it up, rather than outright asking her to do it (which, if she is not interested, could really undermine her trust in you), simply ask her opinion on that sort of relationship, or ask if she ever felt like she wanted to sleep with someone else.
Another thing to consider is the practicality of finding other people to sleep with or whatever it is you want to do, without hurting them or leading them on. For some people, if you told them you had a girlfriend, they wouldn't feel comfortable doing anything with you. Or, they might think you are really wanting to end your relationship with her and start a new one. If you don't tell them, you risk leading them on - they could end up thinking you want to be in a relationship with them.
Whatever you decide, I'd advise you to go carefully and slowly. Consider whether you're doing this because you think it's the right thing for both of you, or just because you are bored or lonely.
In my experience, open relationships will only work if you've actually started the relationship in that way.
If my boyfriend asked me for one, I'd probably leave him, because he obviously just wants to mess about with other girls :/
If my boyfriend asked me for one, I'd probably leave him, because he obviously just wants to mess about with other girls :/
Mate don't do it. But, for the sake of interest, why do you want to?
It would definitely be a slap in the face, if you want to get with other girls then break up with her , you'll most likely hurt her more by asking for an open relationship..
As someone in an LDR as well, I don't think it's unreasonable or heartless, and if my boyfriend had asked that I would have considered it carefully. However, I think most girls would really loathe the idea, and it could cause problems in your relationship. If you do ask, be aware that you're taking a risk.
I'm in an LDR and would be devastated if
my other half asked that of me. I'd permanently worry that he was wishing he was with other people or doing it behind my back.
If it comes out of the blue then be prepared for one very hurt and upset girlfriend.
my other half asked that of me. I'd permanently worry that he was wishing he was with other people or doing it behind my back.
If it comes out of the blue then be prepared for one very hurt and upset girlfriend.
Slap in the face. I wouldn't be so against the idea if the relationship was like this from day one.
Anonymous
Question for the girls, if you were in a really serious long term committed relationship with a guy and you truly love him, he said he loves you but then he asks if you can have an open relationship...would you feel like that as a slap on the face?
I'm in this position right now, I want to ask her (because we're in a LDR) but I don't have the courage to do it I'm not sure how she'll react. I fear it may emotionally destroy her because she thinks the world of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable and heartless here?
I'm in this position right now, I want to ask her (because we're in a LDR) but I don't have the courage to do it I'm not sure how she'll react. I fear it may emotionally destroy her because she thinks the world of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable and heartless here?
she will be hurt
i wouldn't be too happy!! if you want it to be open so you can still get a shag then you aint committed to her!! if you're going to do that you might as well end it in my opinion!! you're either together or you aint!!
Open relationships are brilliant, but not with people who you've previously been in a monogamous relationship with. That would be impossible.
Tell her how you feel though or the relationship will fall apart anyway.
Also, the title of this thread is irritating: seriousness/commitment have nothing to do with whether the relationship is polyamorous or not
Tell her how you feel though or the relationship will fall apart anyway.
Also, the title of this thread is irritating: seriousness/commitment have nothing to do with whether the relationship is polyamorous or not
Related discussions
- what do you call cheating
- Boyfriend never loved me?
- My girlfriend of 2 years wants a 3 some
- a guy with high bodycount
- This forum is for kids and trolls
- Why Cant I find one
- Confession: I'm a serial cheater
- what do i do? answer is probably obvious to everyone else but me
- .
- Love in Islam: Qs for Muslim brothers and sisters!
- is dating about looks
- Has my bf lost interest in me?
- Lesbians - is a Bi girl a turn off for you?
- Am I a late developer?
- No one will go out with me
- How to flirt
- Relationship advice ??
- looks is not subjective
- How can I find a girlfriend
- marriage
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