Parents are hurt and I’ve realised it’s all my fault?? am i the selfish one?

Hey I’m sure some of u have seen the threads about me being a fcked up muslim and a bad daughter to my parents. Today I was at home since my dad didn’t let me leave the house due to the problems that we have had recently (found out about me drinking, clubbing and having a bf). So my mum sat me down and brought like 6 family albums, I spent hours looking at them and couldn’t help crying. It made me realise and appreciate what my parents have done for me and it also made me see where I come from and how i should behave. I am not going to lie but I am some messed up lil bitch and yes I can admit it today. I feel like **** and really regret all the things that i have done in my past..I want to go and tell my parents that im really sorry and beg for forgiveness I have broken their heart and trust. I fcking hate myself right now, I can’t believe how selfish i have become and how badly i have treated my parents. I want to make things right and i really don’t know how to start. I really need to get back on track and show my parents that I am really really sorry. Looking at those pictures has changed me so much I never thought that i would actually call myself a selfish bitch! I feel really guilty and want to actually kill myself for all the times i caused my parents pain they are sososo disappointed in me and I think my dad hates me. don’t know what to do..

What was actually in the photos, that made you realise your a "bitch"?

well just childhood photos and photos of my grandparents (R.I.P),, it made me realise where I come from..I shouldn't be behaving the way I do and should put my act together and be a better daughter

Ok, well my advise would be, if you feel that you have treated your parents badly apologise to both of them and tell them how you feel. Maybe you can cook them a meal or something.

The best thing you can do is just change your ways, that's the only way they will see that you mean it.

Oh I am 100% sure your dad doesn't hate you.

Ok, well my advise would be, if you feel that you have treated your parents badly apologise to both of them and tell them how you feel. Maybe you can cook them a meal or something.

The best thing you can do is just change your ways, that's the only way they will see that you mean it.

Oh I am 100% sure your dad doesn't hate you.

Hey I’m sure some of u have seen the threads about me being a fcked up muslim and a bad daughter to my parents. Today I was at home since my dad didn’t let me leave the house due to the problems that we have had recently (found out about me drinking, clubbing and having a bf). So my mum sat me down and brought like 6 family albums, I spent hours looking at them and couldn’t help crying. It made me realise and appreciate what my parents have done for me and it also made me see where I come from and how i should behave. I am not going to lie but I am some messed up lil bitch and yes I can admit it today. I feel like **** and really regret all the things that i have done in my past..I want to go and tell my parents that im really sorry and beg for forgiveness I have broken their heart and trust. I fcking hate myself right now, I can’t believe how selfish i have become and how badly i have treated my parents. I want to make things right and i really don’t know how to start. I really need to get back on track and show my parents that I am really really sorry. Looking at those pictures has changed me so much I never thought that i would actually call myself a selfish bitch! I feel really guilty and want to actually kill myself for all the times i caused my parents pain they are sososo disappointed in me and I think my dad hates me. don’t know what to do..

(found out about me drinking, clubbing and having a bf).

I can't cook lol but this sounds good thanks the only problem is that my dad is blancking me so i don't really know how to start a convo with him

Well you said your parents are religious, so maybe you can ask him if you can pray together, after you finish you can start the conversation. Surely he wont refuse to speak to you after praying.

To be honest, I don't think you've done anything wrong.

I personally don't see how these factors determine that you're a bad person. I'm assuming you go clubbing, drinking etc, because you enjoy it? As long as you're behaving well and not doing anything immoral, then it's all good.

I understand where you're coming from, in regards to the childhood album and being reminiscent of the old days. But that was then, and this is now, you grew up and developed your own mind and lifestyle. Stop dwelling and do what makes you happy.