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bi girlfriend, am i overeacting? Watch

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    i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

    she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

    however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

    whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

    this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

    they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

    do you think i am overreacting?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

    she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

    however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

    whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

    this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

    they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

    do you think i am overreacting?
    You do realise how many guys are envying you?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

    she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

    however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

    whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

    this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

    they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

    do you think i am overreacting?
    Man up and have a threesome.
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    I want your girlfriend
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    Er yeah, ever heard of a three way?
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    I don't think you're overreacting at all :hugs: If I were in your position there's no way I'd be happy with her going off with another woman, it's just as bad as her going with another man.

    I actually applaud you for saying how you feel, rather than being like ''corr yeah a threesome! I'll bang her too while I'm at it'' or whatever. Threesomes often cause lots of trouble :sadnod:
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    In my experience, many bisexual people tend to be nasty. Nah, you're probably not overreacting.
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    Wouldn't care if she was bi, but I would find it disrespectful as well if I were you.
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    im glad some people are with me on this one!

    she just sent me a blunt message saying "just got home, hope ur having a nice evening", she's gonna be annoyed at me for leaving but i wasn't gonna stick around and be a spare part while they talk about girls they wanna have.
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    Yeah, it's definitely disrespectful. Pretty much tantamount to looking at pictures of guys on their phones and talking about how hot they are. I would be really offended if my boyfriend were constantly talking about other women etc. Seems to me like she is trying to/would try to excuse this behaviour by claiming that the fact that she's bisexual makes it okay... which it doesn't.
    I think you ought to sit down and have a chat with her. If she can't see where you're coming from, I really don't think she's worth your time. Relationships should be built on mutual respect and trust. Doesn't sound like she respects you very much, and if I were in your position I would find it very hard to trust her implicitly.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

    she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

    however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

    whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

    this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

    they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

    do you think i am overreacting?
    You're not over reacting! If she was hanging out with you and one of your guy mates and you and him started looking up girls you both fancy on your phone, she'd probably pretty pretty displeased. Same goes for if her and her friend constantly went on about other guys that they liked in front of you.

    I actually facepalmed at the 'omfg girl on girl action and threesomes ftw!!!!' - esque responses that have already been posted, and the many more that are inevitably to come!
    As a (somewhat morally devoid, I suppose ) bisexual lass in a relationship myself - I'll admit that I have cheated, (i.e. gone further than kissing) on my current partner with a guy AND with a girl (on separate occasions) - and I feel horrendously guilty about both incidents - I certainly don't feel less guilty about the incident with a girl just because she is a girl!!
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      You're not overreacting. Its the same as you looking at girls. Bisexual girls seem to think its ok to look and get with girls and most don't see it as cheating. If you're uncomfortable with it, talk to her and see what she says :hugs: (and this is me talking from personal experience!)

      Its a hard lesson to learn so be patient. I still find myself looking at girls a lot and my bf allows it to a certain extent but there is a limit.

      On the threesome thing, some relationships can completely break down with them, so only agree to ever do it if you feel your relationship can survive it.
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      Yer guys would probably kill to be in your position, but you said it yourself. You don't want a 3some because you think it's disrespectful and the girl seems like a bit trampy for your liking, you wouldn't want to imagine your girlfriend with anyone other than you.

      You shouldn't have anything to worry about. But to be on the safe side, talk to your girlfriend about it. Ask if she wants to do it, but imply it, don't offer it. If she says yes, find a way to compromise. Maybe she'll say "Nah, I think about it but I'd never do that to you." and all is done. You want to be happy with your girlfriend and curiousity is a ***** and you don't want her to want something so badly but not have it really. (As in, she wants to try and not have her go behind her back, you'd rather arrange it so you can prepare yourself if you think it'll hurt. Who knows, you might get aroused by it and want to join in!)
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      well on the one hand, you could take advantage of your situation
      on the other hand, i guess it's just as bad as her eyeing up other guys
      calmly talk to her about it? it's harmless but i can see how it would be frustrating
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      im glad some people are with me on this one!

      she just sent me a blunt message saying "just got home, hope ur having a nice evening", she's gonna be annoyed at me for leaving but i wasn't gonna stick around and be a spare part while they talk about girls they wanna have.
      Oh also, you should probably actually talk to her about it and let her know that its upsetting you, rather than making sideways comments like the one in your text message - for all she knows you could be genuinely wishing her a nice evening! And point out that she wouldn't like it if you kept going on about girls you wanted, in front of her.
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      (Original post by Gabbycat_Almighty)
      Oh also, you should probably actually talk to her about it and let her know that its upsetting you, rather than making sideways comments like the one in your text message - for all she knows you could be genuinely wishing her a nice evening! And point out that she wouldn't like it if you kept going on about girls you wanted, in front of her.
      He never said he sent a text...
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

      she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

      however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

      whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

      this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

      they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

      do you think i am overreacting?
      I don't think you're overreacting at all; in fact, I think you're dealing with the situation in a very mature manner. It shows you're serious about this girl.
      Cheating is cheating, regardless of the gender you cheat with.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

      she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

      however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

      whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

      this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

      they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

      do you think i am overreacting?
      No, you don't have anything to apologize for; I'm sure if you started looking at pictures of girls you fancy in front of her, she would be pissed off.

      However, I think she may have assumed that you would find it hot or something, so you should just tell her how you feel and she'll probably stop
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      (Original post by r3l4x3d)
      He never said he sent a text...
      Ah, I misread post #9 - I thought it said he'd sent the text, not her.
      My point still stands thought - he should talk to her about it.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      i have been with my girlfriend for 8 months. she is bisexual, and i knew this a few months before we started going out. but she has always said she only wants to be with a girl for some fun and would only ever have a relationship with a man.

      she says she would like to have an experience with a woman and that she only wants it once and she wants me to be there too.

      however there is a mutual friend who she meets up with who we have known for years. she looks quite manly and acts it too, i actually find her really immature and annoying. well my gf meets up with her sometimes for drinks, they always end up getting smashed. this girl has a boyfriend but has been saying to my gf she would be tempted by a girl sometime.

      whenever i have been out with them they end up talking about girls and it makes me really uncomfortable. i want to know she is mine, i dont want her eyeing up other girls, its just weird. so i stopped going out with them cos it just isnt any fun.

      this afternoon i met up with my gf after work, and she said this friend was coming down for a bit later on, we had a good time before she came, but then it took about ten minutes before they started talking about the times they'd been out drinking recently and were looking up pictures of women they fancy on her phone. i was just sitting there. i find it really quite hurtful, and although some people would have no probs with it and find it quite cool that ur gf likes looking at other girls, i find it quite hurtful and disrespectful to be honest.

      they went to get another drink so i said i was going, and i went home. i havnt heard from her for the last 3 hours but ive got nothing to apologise for.

      do you think i am overreacting?
      She's totally out of order. I wouldn't sit chatting about guys with my friend and looking at pictures if my boyfriend was there, the fact that's she's bi has nothing to do with it. You're right that you have nothing to apologise for.

      Also I would be seriously wary if she decides this this girl is the one that she wants to have her 'experience' with, I don't imagine it would be good for your relationship...
     
     
     
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