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Difficult housemates with ocd
I am posting to see if anyone else has experience about moving into a house and having difficulties, and what can be done
To cut a long story short I moved into a house with some girls, I did not know them but they seemed alright.
-Soon after moving in house rules became apparent
-Since then I have done my best to keep to them and just trying to be friends
-Recently more notes are left around the house and receiving unpleasent text messages
It is all things to do with ocd, washing up things as soon as I am done eating, cleaning all surfaces, cushions, some of the things are quite extreme in my opinion I wont go into full detail on here but it makes life so difficult living there so I do my best to keep out of their way now. It has got to the point where I cant do any more than what I am already doing cleaning wise so Im not to blame but most things are targeted at me and my health is starting to suffer from stress.
Their opinions are so strong it is hard to change them, Ive never known a student house to be so ocd, I have stood up for myself but it is clearly not working as notes keep appearing, and issues continue. I see it as bullying as its my home too, I dont have ocd so they need to accept Im more laid back. It worse as I am such as tidy person anyway so this situation is terrible!!
It goes to show...If you move in with people you do not know do more research!
To cut a long story short I moved into a house with some girls, I did not know them but they seemed alright.
-Soon after moving in house rules became apparent
-Since then I have done my best to keep to them and just trying to be friends
-Recently more notes are left around the house and receiving unpleasent text messages
It is all things to do with ocd, washing up things as soon as I am done eating, cleaning all surfaces, cushions, some of the things are quite extreme in my opinion I wont go into full detail on here but it makes life so difficult living there so I do my best to keep out of their way now. It has got to the point where I cant do any more than what I am already doing cleaning wise so Im not to blame but most things are targeted at me and my health is starting to suffer from stress.
Their opinions are so strong it is hard to change them, Ive never known a student house to be so ocd, I have stood up for myself but it is clearly not working as notes keep appearing, and issues continue. I see it as bullying as its my home too, I dont have ocd so they need to accept Im more laid back. It worse as I am such as tidy person anyway so this situation is terrible!!
It goes to show...If you move in with people you do not know do more research!
(edited 13 years ago)
Scroll to see replies
Did they all know each other before they moved in?
I really sympathise, I have been in a similar situation. Groups of girls can be so difficult to live with! Not being sexist, but I think guys are a lot more laid back.
Cleaning the cushions? That does sound extreme!
Is there anyway you can advertise the room and get somebody else to replace you in the contract. Then, you can just find yourself somewhere else.
If its a place like Unite, they often have options for people who don't get on with each other to swap flats. Its worth asking. Although I know its not you that should have to move.
Try and get friends to come round as much as possible, its moral support. They are less likely to pick on you with other people present.
I really sympathise, I have been in a similar situation. Groups of girls can be so difficult to live with! Not being sexist, but I think guys are a lot more laid back.
Cleaning the cushions? That does sound extreme!
Is there anyway you can advertise the room and get somebody else to replace you in the contract. Then, you can just find yourself somewhere else.
If its a place like Unite, they often have options for people who don't get on with each other to swap flats. Its worth asking. Although I know its not you that should have to move.
Try and get friends to come round as much as possible, its moral support. They are less likely to pick on you with other people present.
Original post by boogie
Its a student house with a student letting agent, if I want to move out and not lose money I need to find my own replacement
Advertise as much and as quickly as possible then!
If you think you are reasonably tidy and they are just being neurotic, can't you just ignore them?
I mean, notes and text messages are all very passive aggressive. Just tell them to deal with it.
I mean, notes and text messages are all very passive aggressive. Just tell them to deal with it.
I have been up till now, when two of them have been inspecting a hair in the bathroom saying its my hair colour! I always make sure the bathroom is clear when I finish in there, things are hard to ignore when it gets this extreme. Then I get told its only hair and Im being pathetic and why did a make a fuss about a note they left for me about it!
Original post by boogie
I have been up till now, when two of them have been inspecting a hair in the bathroom saying its my hair colour! I always make sure the bathroom is clear when I finish in there, things are hard to ignore when it gets this extreme. Then I get told its only hair and Im being pathetic and why did a make a fuss about a note they left for me about it!
lol - That's a little crazy. I would just try and laugh it off and make them realise what they're actually doing.
E.g. Laugh at them for treating hair in a plug like evidence in a CSI.
Try not to let yourself get so wound up. The year is nearly finished, right?
I have a couple of dickheads in my flat. One girl who is an utter psycho and constantly screams and shouts for no reason. Another is an incredibly annoying gay guy, Julian Clarey clone basically, who decides it's okay to play ****ty music at full blast while singing out of tune at the top of his voice AT TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! He's woken me up in the early hours five times now, yesterday I banged on his door and told him I'd break his arms if he didn't turn it off and keep it off, so he quietly nods, retreats into his room and turns the music off . . . then I hear him crying (note this is a grown man) for the next fifteen minutes. Anyway, he went crying to psycho-bitch and now they've teamed up - they went shopping together this morning because he's upset, they walked past me and she scowled at me and he is no longer looking me in the eye (lol). I really hate people sometimes.
Edit: Yeah, I get the notes on my door and things like that too. **** them, I don't care.
Edit: Yeah, I get the notes on my door and things like that too. **** them, I don't care.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by Einheri
Another is an incredibly annoying gay guy, Julian Clarey clone basically, who decides it's okay to play ****ty music at full blast while singing out of tune at the top of his voice AT TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING! He's woken me up in the early hours five times now, yesterday I banged on his door and told him I'd break his arms if he didn't turn it off and keep it off, so he quietly nods, retreats into his room and turns the music off . . . then I hear him crying (note this is a grown man) for the next fifteen minutes.
LOL. Dealt with that like a boss.
Yeah the year is nearly over so I dont really want to spend lots of time finding someone new as I am in my last year, lol id prefer to live with messy people at least then I would enjoy tidying rather than tidying minimal mess all the time. When I moved in my room is so big I thought if I dont get on with them it doesnt matter, but you cant ignore all the kitchen/bathroom issues. Im just going to tell them not to leave any more notes as it is that which gets me mad and the fact they cant wait till I am back to say it to my face.
Just wondered if anyone else had similar experiences, I know I cant cancel my contract as it runs until June but is this something to mention to the agency as my housemates are looking for a replacement for my room next year
Thanks, thats good advice about the notes, I shouldnt care and have been more assertive recently and ignoring things, but it has got to me a lot this weekend
Just wondered if anyone else had similar experiences, I know I cant cancel my contract as it runs until June but is this something to mention to the agency as my housemates are looking for a replacement for my room next year
Thanks, thats good advice about the notes, I shouldnt care and have been more assertive recently and ignoring things, but it has got to me a lot this weekend
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by boogie
I am posting to see if anyone else has experience about moving into a house and having difficulties, and what can be done
To cut a long story short I moved into a house with some girls, I did not know them but they seemed alright.
-Soon after moving in house rules became apparent
-Since then I have done my best to keep to them and just trying to be friends
-Recently more notes are left around the house and receiving unpleasent text messages
It is all things to do with ocd, washing up things as soon as I am done eating, cleaning all surfaces, cushions, some of the things are quite extreme in my opinion I wont go into full detail on here but it makes life so difficult living there so I do my best to keep out of their way now. It has got to the point where I cant do any more than what I am already doing cleaning wise so Im not to blame but most things are targeted at me and my health is starting to suffer from stress.
Their opinions are so strong it is hard to change them, Ive never known a student house to be so ocd, I have stood up for myself but it is clearly not working as notes keep appearing, and issues continue. I see it as bullying as its my home too, I dont have ocd so they need to accept Im more laid back. It worse as I am such as tidy person anyway so this situation is terrible!!
It goes to show...If you move in with people you do not know do more research!
To cut a long story short I moved into a house with some girls, I did not know them but they seemed alright.
-Soon after moving in house rules became apparent
-Since then I have done my best to keep to them and just trying to be friends
-Recently more notes are left around the house and receiving unpleasent text messages
It is all things to do with ocd, washing up things as soon as I am done eating, cleaning all surfaces, cushions, some of the things are quite extreme in my opinion I wont go into full detail on here but it makes life so difficult living there so I do my best to keep out of their way now. It has got to the point where I cant do any more than what I am already doing cleaning wise so Im not to blame but most things are targeted at me and my health is starting to suffer from stress.
Their opinions are so strong it is hard to change them, Ive never known a student house to be so ocd, I have stood up for myself but it is clearly not working as notes keep appearing, and issues continue. I see it as bullying as its my home too, I dont have ocd so they need to accept Im more laid back. It worse as I am such as tidy person anyway so this situation is terrible!!
It goes to show...If you move in with people you do not know do more research!
It's difficult to make any judgement here because you don't go into detail.
If what they want you to do is do your washing up immediately after you eat, clean the surfaces you use, clean your hair out of the bath/shower etc then that isn't really OCD, it's completely normal outside student flatshares. If people want to use the kitchen and the surfaces are dirty then it means they have to clean up before they cook and then again after; if people leave washing up then it tends to stack up and it means that no-one can use the sink while it's in there. Cleaning the surfaces and doing your washing up takes about 5 minutes per day at the most.
If they are actually being unreasonable then fair enough, but from what you say it sounds like you are just living with people who don't want to live like students. If that's the case then 'standing up for yourself' is likely to come across very badly - it will sound like you're standing up for your right not to clean up after yourself.
(edited 13 years ago)
Its more unreasonable behaviour due to the fact I do clean up after myself all the time and clean the bath yet it continues. One has said she now has to use the downstairs shower because of this so Im made to feel unheigenic.
I do keep photographic evidence of any notes left
Everyone I speak to says how do I put up with it, its the living in constant checking of things which is affecting me and trying to please them and it going unoticed.
I do keep photographic evidence of any notes left
Everyone I speak to says how do I put up with it, its the living in constant checking of things which is affecting me and trying to please them and it going unoticed.
Original post by Elissabeth
Cleaning the cushions? That does sound extreme!
So I take it you don't mind having all sorts of crap on your cushions?
Original post by boogie
I am posting to see if anyone else has experience about moving into a house and having difficulties, and what can be done
To cut a long story short I moved into a house with some girls, I did not know them but they seemed alright.
-Soon after moving in house rules became apparent
-Since then I have done my best to keep to them and just trying to be friends
-Recently more notes are left around the house and receiving unpleasent text messages
It is all things to do with ocd, washing up things as soon as I am done eating, cleaning all surfaces, cushions, some of the things are quite extreme in my opinion I wont go into full detail on here but it makes life so difficult living there so I do my best to keep out of their way now. It has got to the point where I cant do any more than what I am already doing cleaning wise so Im not to blame but most things are targeted at me and my health is starting to suffer from stress.
Their opinions are so strong it is hard to change them, Ive never known a student house to be so ocd, I have stood up for myself but it is clearly not working as notes keep appearing, and issues continue. I see it as bullying as its my home too, I dont have ocd so they need to accept Im more laid back. It worse as I am such as tidy person anyway so this situation is terrible!!
It goes to show...If you move in with people you do not know do more research!
To cut a long story short I moved into a house with some girls, I did not know them but they seemed alright.
-Soon after moving in house rules became apparent
-Since then I have done my best to keep to them and just trying to be friends
-Recently more notes are left around the house and receiving unpleasent text messages
It is all things to do with ocd, washing up things as soon as I am done eating, cleaning all surfaces, cushions, some of the things are quite extreme in my opinion I wont go into full detail on here but it makes life so difficult living there so I do my best to keep out of their way now. It has got to the point where I cant do any more than what I am already doing cleaning wise so Im not to blame but most things are targeted at me and my health is starting to suffer from stress.
Their opinions are so strong it is hard to change them, Ive never known a student house to be so ocd, I have stood up for myself but it is clearly not working as notes keep appearing, and issues continue. I see it as bullying as its my home too, I dont have ocd so they need to accept Im more laid back. It worse as I am such as tidy person anyway so this situation is terrible!!
It goes to show...If you move in with people you do not know do more research!
Original post by TheSownRose
So I take it you don't mind having all sorts of crap on your cushions?
Believe it or not, they don't get that dirty by merely sitting on the sofa with them on.
I shower, wash and wear clean clothes, don't put my shoes on the sofa, so I don't transfer loads of crap to them, no.
What is it that you get up to on your sofa that means you need to wash them all the time?
living with students who are just like you I say your in the wrong. It's not OCD to expect your housemate to do his washing up for Christ's sake. Just because your a student doesn't mean you can expect your housemates to be okay with living in a pig sty.
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