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I lost my virginity and I regret it watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last night I was out with a group of friends, I met a guy in the club and spent the night with him. I had sex with a stranger and I regret it. I really don’t know what to do. I’m from a muslim background, my parents want me to marry a muslim guy and I Don’t think any muslim guy would ever want to marry a non virgin.
    Oh dear.

    Next!
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    If you didn't mean any offence, why would you say that? Not everyone has your views. Why would you seek to make the OP feel bad?

    I wish people would look past the tiny sphere of their own existence and see that other people don't have to subscribe to the same views as them, so long as no one else is being affected.
    Ey look she's asked for our opinions and I've given mine. I genuinely didn't mean to offend, I'm just letting her know how I feel. If I meant to offend I would call her a dirty little whore who has no self respect for herself whatsoever but I didn't say that did I?

    I didn't say anyone has to agree with me. The way you've made your post it comes across as though you're guilty of what you're accusing me of.
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    (Original post by The Dynamic Uno)
    Ey look she's asked for our opinions and I've given mine. I genuinely didn't mean to offend, I'm just letting her know how I feel. If I meant to offend I would call her a dirty little whore who has no self respect for herself whatsoever but I didn't say that did I?

    I didn't say anyone has to agree with me. The way you've made your post it comes across as though you're guilty of what you're accusing me of.
    Calling someone "****gy" is immediately insulting because it's a pejorative term. I don't see how it's that different from calling her a whore. I don't have a problem with anyone sleeping around or with anyone deciding they would not like to sleep around (indeed, I am not the sort of person who wants to have casual sex myself) - but I do have a problem with people thinking they have a right to judge others for actions that do not affect anyone else, least of all thinking it's okay to use nasty words to do so openly. So I don't see how I'm guilty of what I'm accusing you of.

    Besides, she didn't ask for our opinions, exactly. She is clearly anguished and said she didn't know what to do. Calling her names is not going to help her and seems to serve no purpose whatsoever.
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    (Original post by Jelkin)
    Calling someone "****gy" is immediately insulting because it's a pejorative term. I don't see how it's that different from calling her a whore. I don't have a problem with anyone sleeping around or with anyone deciding they would not like to sleep around (indeed, I am not the sort of person who wants to have casual sex myself) - but I do have a problem with people thinking they have a right to judge others for actions that do not affect anyone else, least of all thinking it's okay to use nasty words to do so openly. So I don't see how I'm guilty of what I'm accusing you of.

    Besides, she didn't ask for our opinions, exactly. She is clearly anguished and said she didn't know what to do. Calling her names is not going to help her and seems to serve no purpose whatsoever.
    Alright I see how what I said could be taken offensively but I don't see "****gy" really as a highly offensive word. That's just me though. To me, it seems soft. In my eyes branding someone a **** is offensive but saying they did something "****gy" isn't. D'you get me? It's also all about the tone in which you say something and obviously I can't project tone over the internet. And I agree with your point about people judging others for actions that do not affect anyone else but the OP having sex has an effect on her family (for whatever reasons) and if she decides to lie and pretend it didn't happen and continue to pretend being 'Muslim' then it is her unknowing Muslim husband that will suffer as a result.

    To reiterate, in my mind, I wasn't calling her names. I was just describing the actions she did.
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    (Original post by The Dynamic Uno)
    Alright I see how what I said could be taken offensively but I don't see "****gy" really as a highly offensive word. That's just me though. To me, it seems soft. In my eyes branding someone a **** is offensive but saying they did something "****gy" isn't. D'you get me? It's also all about the tone in which you say something and obviously I can't project tone over the internet. And I agree with your point about people judging others for actions that do not affect anyone else but the OP having sex has an effect on her family (for whatever reasons) and if she decides to lie and pretend it didn't happen and continue to pretend being 'Muslim' then it is her unknowing Muslim husband that will suffer as a result.

    To reiterate, in my mind, I wasn't calling her names. I was just describing the actions she did.
    Forgive me, but most people I know wouldnt want to be called a ****. I think you just about get away with that explanation you have just given.

    There are some really unhelpful posts on this thread, incredibly judgemental...I don't see how you can have a holier than thou attitude and look down on others, when the majority of us on this thread, myself included have made mistakes, told lies or done something that we shouldn't have.


    In all honesty, if you don't subscribe to Islam I think you would find it very difficult to sustain a relationship with a muslim man, the whole sleeping with someone before marriage thing aside. Add that to it...and I really REALLY dont think you can....just my thoughts though. Its not fair on him and its not fair on you.
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    (Original post by Miss_Scarlett)
    Forgive me, but most people I know wouldnt want to be called a ****. I think you just about get away with that explanation you have just given.

    There are some really unhelpful posts on this thread, incredibly judgemental...I don't see how you can have a holier than thou attitude and look down on others, when the majority of us on this thread, myself included have made mistakes, told lies or done something that we shouldn't have.


    In all honesty, if you don't subscribe to Islam I think you would find it very difficult to sustain a relationship with a muslim man, the whole sleeping with someone before marriage thing aside. Add that to it...and I really REALLY dont think you can....just my thoughts though. Its not fair on him and its not fair on you.
    To be honest I don't see what your problem is. I wasn't being a condescending judgemental holier-than-thou **** in my post. Well, I didn't intend to anyway. Like I've said previously, it's all about the tone of how something is said too. What I wrote might have seemed highly offensive but that's just the way I speak. In person the way I talk gets my message across as I'm sure it does for you too.

    By having a go at me for having what YOU perceive to be a holier-than-thou attitude you yourself are projecting a holier-than-thou attitude.
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    (Original post by The Dynamic Uno)
    To be honest I don't see what your problem is. I wasn't being a condescending judgemental holier-than-thou **** in my post. Well, I didn't intend to anyway. Like I've said previously, it's all about the tone of how something is said too. What I wrote might have seemed highly offensive but that's just the way I speak. In person the way I talk gets my message across as I'm sure it does for you too.

    By having a go at me for having what YOU perceive to be a holier-than-thou attitude you yourself are projecting a holier-than-thou attitude.
    The holier than thou bit wasnt aimed at you personally, hence it came after my comment saying "some of the posts in this thread"

    I get what you are saying about the act being ****gy rather than perhaps labelling that person based on one incident.

    LOL im not holier than thou i have many faults...but at least Im aware of them
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    As for a solution you have 2 options:
    1:Become a muslim and marry a muslim man of your choice, not your parents choice
    2tay a non-muslim and marry whomsoever you please

    but keep in mind your boyfriend/husband could always leave you whilst familly will forever remain so.
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    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    I don't think you can now.

    The fornicator shall not marry any but a fornicatress or idolatress, and (as for) the fornicatress, none shall marry her but a fornicator or an idolater; and it is forbidden to the believers.
    [al-Nur 24:3]
    She's admitted she's not a Muslim. If she intends to marry a Muslim guy that makes her frankly a selfish ***** of the worst sort. I can't believe some posters on here -- religious or not -- condoning her behaviour; she intends to dupe some guy and ruin his life. Losing her virginity isn't the problem. She's worried about how she is gonna back up her lies!
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    Marry a non-virgin Muslim guy?

    Oh wait, it doesn't work that way, right?
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    (Original post by Miss_Scarlett)
    The holier than thou bit wasnt aimed at you personally, hence it came after my comment saying "some of the posts in this thread"

    I get what you are saying about the act being ****gy rather than perhaps labelling that person based on one incident.

    LOL im not holier than thou i have many faults...but at least Im aware of them
    Fair enough.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last night I was out with a group of friends, I met a guy in the club and spent the night with him. I had sex with a stranger and I regret it. I really don’t know what to do. I’m from a muslim background, my parents want me to marry a muslim guy and I Don’t think any muslim guy would ever want to marry a non virgin.
    Well I guess that narrows your slection down a bit then doesn't it?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last night I was out with a group of friends, I met a guy in the club and spent the night with him. I had sex with a stranger and I regret it. I really don’t know what to do. I’m from a muslim background, my parents want me to marry a muslim guy and I Don’t think any muslim guy would ever want to marry a non virgin.
    If i were you i'd get checked for STD's first.

    EDIT: If your wondering, i'm muslim and have regular sex with my muslim girlfriend....
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    (Original post by The Dynamic Uno)
    Fair enough.
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    (Original post by crazycake93)
    If i were you i'd get checked for STD's first.

    EDIT: If your wondering, i'm muslim and have regular sex with my muslim girlfriend....
    You're not really muslim then are you....

    note: I'n not Muslim or anything, I'm just saying....
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    (Original post by oh-my-diddy)
    Is it weird that I knew a Muslim posted this before I had even read It?

    The master of psychicism.
    You're insulting muslims by calling her a muslim. She's NOT a muslim. She doesn't believe in Islam - she's not a muslim. A muslim would not have sex before marriage, you do - you're not a muslim.
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    To all guys calling her a ****, one ONS does not make anyone a ****!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last night I was out with a group of friends, I met a guy in the club and spent the night with him. I had sex with a stranger and I regret it. I really don’t know what to do. I’m from a muslim background, my parents want me to marry a muslim guy and I Don’t think any muslim guy would ever want to marry a non virgin.
    Oh well.
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    Please don't go and marry an innocent muslim guy. Don't deceive an innocent person because you are not a muslim. Get some balls and admit the truth - if you don't then at least don't act like you're a muslim.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last night I was out with a group of friends, I met a guy in the club and spent the night with him. I had sex with a stranger and I regret it. I really don’t know what to do. I’m from a muslim background, my parents want me to marry a muslim guy and I Don’t think any muslim guy would ever want to marry a non virgin.
    Congratulations.

    You can leave your Muslim life behind you now and join the the ways of the West, which you will find is far superior to that of wearing a Burka and being domestically abused by your husband.
 
 
 
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