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Help my boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while, and we are struggling in the sexual arena. He and I have only had sex about six times. Each time he has found an excuse to stop only just a minute or two in. I always thought he was stressed out. It has really been a blow to my confidence and self esteem. I've felt so inadequate.
I think he may have PE issues, but has been trying to hide them from me.
I feel like he and I should talk about this together, but I have not the faintest idea how to broach the issue with him.

Reply 1

sweeter than a cherry pie

Well, when you're alone together and you've been having a nice time (helps if you're already in a good mood when you discuss this kind of thing), just gently start by saying you've been thinking about things in the bedroom, and how you're wondering if he enjoys your sex life, and if there's anything he'd like to try or change. Just get chatting about it and gently bring up your concerns, but be careful to word things in a way that doesn't sound accusatory - if it's something he's sensitive about it'll be easy for him to feel blamed.

Reply 2

spex

Just give him time to get comfortable with your body. I'm guessing you were his first? You could be the most finest honey in all the land and he would be having the same problem, so don't take it personal, it's just an issue of him getting more comfortable with the situation and with you, which may take some time.

Reply 3

Tenkoo

As it has been said, try to talk with him, its important to be honest in relationalship. In my opinion together you will find a solution for this problem :smile:

Reply 4

SugarPuffs

When you next have sex with him, ask him then about his possible issue with premature ejaculation (if he stops only a minute or two in again); you can talk to him then and suggest ways you can both have sex for longer without him blowing his load so quickly (i.e. longer foreplay, slower thrusting, trying a different position, etc).

Reply 5

Terence_A.

If you want to bring it up in a positive way, say something like: "We have a great relationship and I want to make it better before this becomes an issue" Also, laughing and joking should make it less awkward/embarassing for him.

Reply 6

notary

Talk to him and seek advice him to consult with a specialist or therapist. He don't be offended. As previously was said do it in a fun and gentle way

Reply 7

Tenkoo

You dont think that a therapist is to much for this kind of stuff ? Maybe it will be better to find some trainings on internet, when talk wont help them. In my mind there is course like "Gush Control - how to stop premature ejaculation" , which as main topic says, can help you to stop this premature ejaculation.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8

vicky00

Thank you all for your advice. I would tell him about it somehow gently to make him hurt. I'll try to change the position, it can stop the ejaculation for several minutes.
Perhaps this online course isn't a bad idea, I try to talk to him about it.

Reply 9

Classical Liberal

At the very least, get him to slow down his breathing. In for 7 seconds. Hold 7 seconds. Out for 7 seconds. Do it with him as well as to make him not feel awkward and to make it a shared experience, rather than something he is doing all alone.

Guys will get so ****ing scared that they will tighten up their pelvic floor (basically the same as trying to hold in a pee), making everything worse, and start taking really short quick breaths because they are panicking.

Also a good thing to try is to get him to call out numbers from 0-10 as to how close he is to cumming. This will help you get a feel for him and adjust as need be. You can do this aswell, to make it a shared experience.