Dunno what to do about my girlfriend
Hey, it's me again.
Following on from my last thread which in short was, me and this girl started seeing each other. Soon after we got together her mates and my ex's mates kept on talking about it, and comparing my girlfriend to my ex. She didn't tell me this and bottled it all up, then when she goes home for Christmas she tells me she wants to split up, and that she wants us to just be mates. We meet up after Christmas, and she says she wants to split up and be friends, even though I said I didn't want that and being friends wouldn't work out, especially if we had feelings for each other. She said her feelings had changed towards me. As it was her birthday I gave her her present I'd got her anyway. She burst out crying and left, and when I got home she had left me a message on Facebook saying she lied and still had feelings for me, and wanted to still be with me, just to take things slow.
So on to the recent stuff.
We go out on a night out for her birthday, and it was a bit awkward. The next day, she invites me to her mates, as her mates boyfriend has come up to visit. She's 'off with me'. We sit through an awkward meal, then she asks me to go to hers for a drink, but not to stay for long. I left after fifteen mins. She texts me Sunday night asking to go round to watch a film with her, I'm out with my mates so can't. So, I said about meeting up with her Monday, and she said no as she has this essay she's struggling with and wants to do that. Fair enough.
We go the cinema today, she's okay with me on the train and stuff, but when we arrive in town she starts picking out my flaws, like I'm immature, I stand too close to her when she's looking at clothes, or I'm over-dramatic about stuff. Petty things, says she's joking. We go the cinema, things are okay through the film, but she's still a bit off with me. We go for some food, and she hardly speaks to me, and then she says I embarrassed her cuz I stuck my legs out from the table to stretch them. I ask her how she felt things were going with us after all the other crap, and she told me not to mention it to stop talking about it.
The train home we hardly speak. I say am annoyed at how things are and how things have changed, and she says it's to be expected. She also has said she's going to be busy the next couple of weeks with this essay, and she's going home for a few days in-between, so we can't see each other for another two weeks now.
I dunno what's gone on. Before all this happened, we'd see each other everyday, we'd speak all the time, there would never be any moments of silence.Now there always is, and she's always getting into moods. I try and speak to her about it, but she wants to keep it to herself.
What's going on with her? Will things ever go back to the way things were or should I just give up now? It annoys me because, I'd split up with my ex for various reasons and wasn't ready for a girlfriend. Then my girlfriend now says she likes me, and as we get to know each other I realise I like her. I say am not ready for a relationship yet, but because we were already 'kind of' seeing each other anyway I thought it was silly to be so against a relationship again. Now it's gone like this.
Following on from my last thread which in short was, me and this girl started seeing each other. Soon after we got together her mates and my ex's mates kept on talking about it, and comparing my girlfriend to my ex. She didn't tell me this and bottled it all up, then when she goes home for Christmas she tells me she wants to split up, and that she wants us to just be mates. We meet up after Christmas, and she says she wants to split up and be friends, even though I said I didn't want that and being friends wouldn't work out, especially if we had feelings for each other. She said her feelings had changed towards me. As it was her birthday I gave her her present I'd got her anyway. She burst out crying and left, and when I got home she had left me a message on Facebook saying she lied and still had feelings for me, and wanted to still be with me, just to take things slow.
So on to the recent stuff.
We go out on a night out for her birthday, and it was a bit awkward. The next day, she invites me to her mates, as her mates boyfriend has come up to visit. She's 'off with me'. We sit through an awkward meal, then she asks me to go to hers for a drink, but not to stay for long. I left after fifteen mins. She texts me Sunday night asking to go round to watch a film with her, I'm out with my mates so can't. So, I said about meeting up with her Monday, and she said no as she has this essay she's struggling with and wants to do that. Fair enough.
We go the cinema today, she's okay with me on the train and stuff, but when we arrive in town she starts picking out my flaws, like I'm immature, I stand too close to her when she's looking at clothes, or I'm over-dramatic about stuff. Petty things, says she's joking. We go the cinema, things are okay through the film, but she's still a bit off with me. We go for some food, and she hardly speaks to me, and then she says I embarrassed her cuz I stuck my legs out from the table to stretch them. I ask her how she felt things were going with us after all the other crap, and she told me not to mention it to stop talking about it.
The train home we hardly speak. I say am annoyed at how things are and how things have changed, and she says it's to be expected. She also has said she's going to be busy the next couple of weeks with this essay, and she's going home for a few days in-between, so we can't see each other for another two weeks now.
I dunno what's gone on. Before all this happened, we'd see each other everyday, we'd speak all the time, there would never be any moments of silence.Now there always is, and she's always getting into moods. I try and speak to her about it, but she wants to keep it to herself.
What's going on with her? Will things ever go back to the way things were or should I just give up now? It annoys me because, I'd split up with my ex for various reasons and wasn't ready for a girlfriend. Then my girlfriend now says she likes me, and as we get to know each other I realise I like her. I say am not ready for a relationship yet, but because we were already 'kind of' seeing each other anyway I thought it was silly to be so against a relationship again. Now it's gone like this.
(edited 11 years ago)
Scroll to see replies
I'm so angry.
She text me last night saying that me and her weren't working. I told her I knew that, but said it was because we weren't seeing each other, and that am trying to make it work. She then just said she couldn't do it, and she can't let it drag us both down. I said I didn't understand what was happening, and I mention the Facebook message she sent me after she split up with me last week saying how she still had feelings for me, she didn't want to lose me, and she wanted to take things slow - and since then, when I've tried to make an effort with her, she says she's busy and knocks me back. I asked whether there was more going on that she wasn't telling me, to which she said that there wasn't. She also said she couldn't make time for me because she had 'a lot on'. She then proceeded to say that she doesn't want us to end but it's not working - the reason being is because she never has time for me - and she wants to end it because 'it's only going to get worse'. I tried to talk her round, but she just replied 'sorry, it had to be done'. I say to her it's as thought she's not bothered to which she replies 'I am'.
I got sick of her short, one or two word replies, so I just said
"I can't be bothered with this anymore, you says you like me, you know I still like you, so you say to take things slow and I never see you. I've seen you once properly since you said about taking things slow and you want to end it. Am done trying to sort this, if it's about my ex then am sorry, you know I can't stand her and it's you I want, but am not arguing anymore. If you want to end it then okay."
She didn't reply. She's been on Facebook and stuff since, status updates about going out with her friends, and her best friend being her wing-girl going out on nights out... she was even out with her friends whilst she was texting me. I'm just so annoyed. I feel like the past few months have been a waste of time, and she's just led me on because she liked me and I wasn't sure, she won me round, and then just ends it so easily. She even invited me to meet her parents the day she tells me the first time she thinks we should end. I just feel like an idiot.
I dunno what to do. Do I try and speak to her properly, in person? Or just ignore her. I'm going to see her around university next week, but I dunno what to do. Do I make any contact with her at all??
Advice? Was I too harsh with my last text to which she didn't reply to?
She text me last night saying that me and her weren't working. I told her I knew that, but said it was because we weren't seeing each other, and that am trying to make it work. She then just said she couldn't do it, and she can't let it drag us both down. I said I didn't understand what was happening, and I mention the Facebook message she sent me after she split up with me last week saying how she still had feelings for me, she didn't want to lose me, and she wanted to take things slow - and since then, when I've tried to make an effort with her, she says she's busy and knocks me back. I asked whether there was more going on that she wasn't telling me, to which she said that there wasn't. She also said she couldn't make time for me because she had 'a lot on'. She then proceeded to say that she doesn't want us to end but it's not working - the reason being is because she never has time for me - and she wants to end it because 'it's only going to get worse'. I tried to talk her round, but she just replied 'sorry, it had to be done'. I say to her it's as thought she's not bothered to which she replies 'I am'.
I got sick of her short, one or two word replies, so I just said
"I can't be bothered with this anymore, you says you like me, you know I still like you, so you say to take things slow and I never see you. I've seen you once properly since you said about taking things slow and you want to end it. Am done trying to sort this, if it's about my ex then am sorry, you know I can't stand her and it's you I want, but am not arguing anymore. If you want to end it then okay."
She didn't reply. She's been on Facebook and stuff since, status updates about going out with her friends, and her best friend being her wing-girl going out on nights out... she was even out with her friends whilst she was texting me. I'm just so annoyed. I feel like the past few months have been a waste of time, and she's just led me on because she liked me and I wasn't sure, she won me round, and then just ends it so easily. She even invited me to meet her parents the day she tells me the first time she thinks we should end. I just feel like an idiot.
I dunno what to do. Do I try and speak to her properly, in person? Or just ignore her. I'm going to see her around university next week, but I dunno what to do. Do I make any contact with her at all??
Advice? Was I too harsh with my last text to which she didn't reply to?
(edited 11 years ago)
Dump that girl. She doesn't know what she wants. From what you've said it's easy to see that she seems to be picking out your flaws in a way that will make it easier to break up with you. 'It's not me it's you' kinda thing
Original post by henrysickle
I'm so angry.
She text me last night saying that me and her weren't working. I told her I knew that, but said it was because we weren't seeing each other, and that am trying to make it work. She then just said she couldn't do it, and she can't let it drag us both down. I said I didn't understand what was happening, and I mention the Facebook message she sent me after she split up with me last week saying how she still had feelings for me, she didn't want to lose me, and she wanted to take things slow - and since then, when I've tried to make an effort with her, she says she's busy and knocks me back. I asked whether there was more going on that she wasn't telling me, to which she said that there wasn't. She also said she couldn't make time for me because she had 'a lot on'. She then proceeded to say that she doesn't want us to end but it's not working - the reason being is because she never has time for me - and she wants to end it because 'it's only going to get worse'. I tried to talk her round, but she just replied 'sorry, it had to be done'. I say to her it's as thought she's not bothered to which she replies 'I am'.
I got sick of her short, one or two word replies, so I just said
"I can't be bothered with this anymore, you says you like me, you know I still like you, so you say to take things slow and I never see you. I've seen you once properly since you said about taking things slow and you want to end it. Am done trying to sort this, if it's about my ex then am sorry, you know I can't stand her and it's you I want, but am not arguing anymore. If you want to end it then okay."
She didn't reply. She's been on Facebook and stuff since, status updates about going out with her friends, and her best friend being her wing-girl going out on nights out... she was even out with her friends whilst she was texting me. I'm just so annoyed. I feel like the past few months have been a waste of time, and she's just led me on because she liked me and I wasn't sure, she won me round, and then just ends it so easily. She even invited me to meet her parents the day she tells me the first time she thinks we should end. I just feel like an idiot.
I dunno what to do. Do I try and speak to her properly, in person? Or just ignore her. I'm going to see her around university next week, but I dunno what to do. Do I make any contact with her at all??
Advice? Was I too harsh with my last text to which she didn't reply to?
She text me last night saying that me and her weren't working. I told her I knew that, but said it was because we weren't seeing each other, and that am trying to make it work. She then just said she couldn't do it, and she can't let it drag us both down. I said I didn't understand what was happening, and I mention the Facebook message she sent me after she split up with me last week saying how she still had feelings for me, she didn't want to lose me, and she wanted to take things slow - and since then, when I've tried to make an effort with her, she says she's busy and knocks me back. I asked whether there was more going on that she wasn't telling me, to which she said that there wasn't. She also said she couldn't make time for me because she had 'a lot on'. She then proceeded to say that she doesn't want us to end but it's not working - the reason being is because she never has time for me - and she wants to end it because 'it's only going to get worse'. I tried to talk her round, but she just replied 'sorry, it had to be done'. I say to her it's as thought she's not bothered to which she replies 'I am'.
I got sick of her short, one or two word replies, so I just said
"I can't be bothered with this anymore, you says you like me, you know I still like you, so you say to take things slow and I never see you. I've seen you once properly since you said about taking things slow and you want to end it. Am done trying to sort this, if it's about my ex then am sorry, you know I can't stand her and it's you I want, but am not arguing anymore. If you want to end it then okay."
She didn't reply. She's been on Facebook and stuff since, status updates about going out with her friends, and her best friend being her wing-girl going out on nights out... she was even out with her friends whilst she was texting me. I'm just so annoyed. I feel like the past few months have been a waste of time, and she's just led me on because she liked me and I wasn't sure, she won me round, and then just ends it so easily. She even invited me to meet her parents the day she tells me the first time she thinks we should end. I just feel like an idiot.
I dunno what to do. Do I try and speak to her properly, in person? Or just ignore her. I'm going to see her around university next week, but I dunno what to do. Do I make any contact with her at all??
Advice? Was I too harsh with my last text to which she didn't reply to?
No you were fine, she's not behaving particularly rationally, and it's only going to make things weird if you try and limp along.
Unless you're totally dependent on her (though it sounds your efforts are quite a chore on you) I would drop her like the indecisive mumbler she is
Yeah that's the thing, I know this, but she's saying she's still got feelings for me, and I don't understand if that's the case why she would just want to end it.
I mean, she's had a very difficult past, some crazy crap has happened to her and her family, which I won't go into details about, but she can't trust people - yet she said I'm the first lad she's trusted - and now she's being all weird with me.
Can't understand it.
I'm not dependent on her - I just like her a lot, and the fact we are/were mates beforehand made our relationship work so well because it wasn't just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And now it's as though she's cutting me out by ignoring me. I'm not upset by it, I'm just so angry because I don't know what happened, and because she says we should take it slow, and just gives up after a week.
I mean, she's had a very difficult past, some crazy crap has happened to her and her family, which I won't go into details about, but she can't trust people - yet she said I'm the first lad she's trusted - and now she's being all weird with me.
Can't understand it.
I'm not dependent on her - I just like her a lot, and the fact we are/were mates beforehand made our relationship work so well because it wasn't just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And now it's as though she's cutting me out by ignoring me. I'm not upset by it, I'm just so angry because I don't know what happened, and because she says we should take it slow, and just gives up after a week.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by henrysickle
Yeah that's the thing, I know this, but she's saying she's still got feelings for me, and I don't understand if that's the case why she would just want to end it.
I mean, she's had a very difficult past, some crazy crap has happened to her and her family, which I won't go into details about, but she can't trust people - yet she said I'm the first lad she's trusted - and now she's being all weird with me.
Can't understand it.
I mean, she's had a very difficult past, some crazy crap has happened to her and her family, which I won't go into details about, but she can't trust people - yet she said I'm the first lad she's trusted - and now she's being all weird with me.
Can't understand it.
so what? Clearly this isn't the kind of person you should be bothering yourself with. Relationships don't need to be this stressful. You need to cut contact with her.
I'm not dependent on her - I just like her a lot, and the fact we are/were mates beforehand made our relationship work so well because it wasn't just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And now it's as though she's cutting me out by ignoring me. I'm not upset by it, I'm just so angry because I don't know what happened, and because she says we should take it slow, and just gives up after a week.
what is to like about this girl? Re-read what you've posted in the OP.
If it was me personally - I wouldn't have patience for that **** and I'd just dump her.
If you don't want to dump her though, you could probably get her to talk to you openly if you keep harassing her in a gentle way. Key points: tell her it won't change your opinion of her and that, whatever it is, it won't make you think it was stupid or silly.
If you don't want to dump her though, you could probably get her to talk to you openly if you keep harassing her in a gentle way. Key points: tell her it won't change your opinion of her and that, whatever it is, it won't make you think it was stupid or silly.
dump on her.
wait?
wait?
Original post by Pride
so what? Clearly this isn't the kind of person you should be bothering yourself with. Relationships don't need to be this stressful. You need to cut contact with her.
what is to like about this girl? Re-read what you've posted in the OP.
what is to like about this girl? Re-read what you've posted in the OP.
Because before Christmas everything was great between us, then whilst at home, she just changed, and I dunno why. If she said she didn't want to be with me cuz she didn't feel the same anymore then I'd accept that, but the fact she says she still feels the same, and her reasons for splitting up are crap, I wanna know what's changed. And it's hard to cut contact with her since I see her every week at uni.
I don't even know if am still with her at the moment, haha. Since she didn't reply to my last text, am presuming it's over, but she won't acknowledge it.
(edited 11 years ago)
It seems to me like it could be one of two things: - Either she's unsure about her feelings towards you as many people before have mentioned, although from what you've said I don't think so....or.... - There's something going on in her life that you don't know about.
Only way to resolve this is if you meet up and speak with her in a cool, collected manner, not sounding as if you're pissed off or frustrated. In my experience that's the way to make her open up to you...
Only way to resolve this is if you meet up and speak with her in a cool, collected manner, not sounding as if you're pissed off or frustrated. In my experience that's the way to make her open up to you...
As much as I hate to admit it. Girls really can bottle it up inside, which causes them to be moody with the person who means the most to them. From personal experience, When I kept something from my boyfriend or when I got a bit stressed. I would get moody with him, push him away, argue with him. I don't understand the whole finishing part, but I'd talk to her in person to try and see what's going on with her.
Either that, or her feelings could have just taken a dramatic change. I wouldn't worry too much. If you mean anything to
her, I'm sure she will soon come running back, and if not, she clearly didn't deserve you in the first place.
Either that, or her feelings could have just taken a dramatic change. I wouldn't worry too much. If you mean anything to
her, I'm sure she will soon come running back, and if not, she clearly didn't deserve you in the first place.
Frigging doing my nut in. I know I should just leave it be, since she's just messed me around... but at the same time I wanna know what's gone on.
Do I text her after she ignored me, leave it a day or so, ring her, Facebook her, or just ask her outright next time I see her in uni?
Sorry if am annoying anyone. I know that it's over, I just dunno what's gone wrong.
That's exactly how she's been, and it's annoying me because she's told me stuff she'd never told anyone before, said she couldn't tell people, but could with me. Now she's bottling up EVERYTHING, and dismisses me when I ask her what's up.
Do I text her after she ignored me, leave it a day or so, ring her, Facebook her, or just ask her outright next time I see her in uni?
Sorry if am annoying anyone. I know that it's over, I just dunno what's gone wrong.
Original post by NerdGlasses
As much as I hate to admit it. Girls really can bottle it up inside, which causes them to be moody with the person who means the most to them. From personal experience, When I kept something from my boyfriend or when I got a bit stressed. I would get moody with him, push him away, argue with him. I don't understand the whole finishing part, but I'd talk to her in person to try and see what's going on with her.
Either that, or her feelings could have just taken a dramatic change. I wouldn't worry too much. If you mean anything to
her, I'm sure she will soon come running back, and if not, she clearly didn't deserve you in the first place.
Either that, or her feelings could have just taken a dramatic change. I wouldn't worry too much. If you mean anything to
her, I'm sure she will soon come running back, and if not, she clearly didn't deserve you in the first place.
That's exactly how she's been, and it's annoying me because she's told me stuff she'd never told anyone before, said she couldn't tell people, but could with me. Now she's bottling up EVERYTHING, and dismisses me when I ask her what's up.
(edited 11 years ago)
She's treating you like **** and you shouldn't have to put up with her immaturity. Move on and try your hardest not to speak to her unless she speaks to you because what she's seeking is attention and only when she wants it. I can tell you can do so much better than her 
(edited 11 years ago)
I suggest talking to her in person, I tell my boyfriend everything. However, when something really bothers me, I try to either sort it out on my own and try not to worry him too. I dismiss everything too when I'm in that mood, try not to take it personally. It's just a girls mind which are often confusing. It confuses me and its my mind! Just talk to her, try and comfort her into talking to you about what is on her mind and why the sudden change happened.
Shes treating you horribly, I think she doesn't know what she wants and that her friends are possibly influencing her decision to break up with you, especially if they were with her when you have speaking and broke up. You've broke up once already, I'd leave it now. She's being very unfair to you. Maybe she does have a problem or something but she can't expect you to figure it out if she doesn't tell you. The statuses on Facebook sound like shes possibly trying to get your attention, annoy you or make you jealous. I've seen so many girls do it. It may be hard but cut off contact with her, in time you'll find someone who'll treat you better. I hope things get sorted soon.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Chadfish
- hanging around my girlfriend is really draining. Am I in the wrong?
- Girl said she wouldn't?
- Marriage, his kids, his family ????? Isit a huge red flag
- Relationship
- My girlfriend is bisexual and wants to kiss other girls.
- Does he like me or is he just using me as a second choice?
- Boyfriend didn’t invite me to hang with friends on his bday
- Guy suddenly has no time for me
- Why do people insult my looks in my relationship?
- Is our age gap fine for dating?
- Girlfriend's mum is a very bitter and jealous person
- Relationship
- Doubts about relationship
- My gf has been sa’d a few weeks ago but I can’t do anything
- So it turns out..the GLS is a scam, thoughts?
- My girlfriend never gets jealous?
- Could someone read this and share their thoughts and corrections?(Part 2)
- What should I do when I strongly disagree with my friend’s actions?
- Girls, would this type of guy be considered unattractive?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
