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Slept with my best friends boyfriend.
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lets be honest, it wasn't a good move was it.....
My best friend bedded my boyfriend too and now we're not friends. If you tell her, she is likely to blame you more than him because I imagine she wants to see the best in him. That's what I did anyway. As it happens, I'm really grateful to her now for telling me, because I got out before he ****ed me over any further and my life is significantly better off without them.
She's with him now... Poor girl. :/
She's with him now... Poor girl. :/
To be honest, I would purfuesly deny it if she found out. Indeed, even if she didn't, I'd pretend the partner had been coming on to me so if it ever came out, I could the partner just had some strange obsession with me. It's either 'you', 'him' or 'you and him'. Clearly the middle option is the best.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Beckyweck
My best friend bedded my boyfriend too and now we're not friends. If you tell her, she is likely to blame you more than him because I imagine she wants to see the best in him. That's what I did anyway. As it happens, I'm really grateful to her now for telling me, because I got out before he ****ed me over any further and my life is significantly better off without them.
She's with him now... Poor girl. :/
She's with him now... Poor girl. :/
Ouch...This could be seen as an incentive from the OP's point of view you know.
Well u screwed up bad, only you know whats right to do.The fact that you have to question whether to tell her or not suggests two things. U care about ur friend getting hurt or u want to save urself from facing the consequences because u cannot deal with confrontation.
Think.
Think.
(edited 10 years ago)
Lot of pathetic people out and about tonight telling OP to keep her mouth shut. Probably the same kind of people - weak and unable to take any responsibility.
This is a character test OP. Grow some gonads and tell your friend the truth - you've already screwed her over once so let's try not to go for the friend of the year award.
This is a character test OP. Grow some gonads and tell your friend the truth - you've already screwed her over once so let's try not to go for the friend of the year award.
Original post by Anonymous
I am so so upset. I know it's not an excuse, but I was so drunk, I can not remember my whole night out. I can't remember bringing him back to my house or anything.
I can't believe what I have done. I feel so guilty. He won't say anything, and obviously I won't. But I don't know what to do now. I don't even want to see him ever again. I'm mortified. I am a horrible person. What do I do?
I can't believe what I have done. I feel so guilty. He won't say anything, and obviously I won't. But I don't know what to do now. I don't even want to see him ever again. I'm mortified. I am a horrible person. What do I do?
I know this is a different approach to what most people on the forum are saying, but I suggest you actually don't tell her if 1) Nobody else knows or has the possibility of finding out 2) Both you and him regret it and feel guilty about it. What good can come out of telling her? What she doesn't know can't hurt her. If you don't tell her it won't destroy her life.
Stay well away from him, and act normal around him with your friend. I suggest you also avoid getting completely obliterated and getting yourself into situations like this.
The guilt is something you have to deal with. This is all your own fault, so bear the punishment.
Original post by A Perfect Circle
Maybe I deserve to be on this horse, on account of being a better person than you. 
Maybe you are a better person but I still think op should keep her mouth shut. Ignorance is bliss imo.
Original post by BAD AT MATHS
Maybe you are a better person but I still think op should keep her mouth shut. Ignorance is bliss imo.
You're probably the happiest guy on the planet then aren't you?
Original post by DivinityA
Not sure what help insulting the OP is going to give.
I'll say the quicker you tell your friend this happened, that there is some greater chance of things being resolved positively. At least, more positively than if you leave things to linger. Isn't going to be easy, as you may have jeopardised your friendship badly.
I'll say the quicker you tell your friend this happened, that there is some greater chance of things being resolved positively. At least, more positively than if you leave things to linger. Isn't going to be easy, as you may have jeopardised your friendship badly.
I don't think there's any 'may' or 'maybe' about it.
Original post by A Perfect Circle
You're probably the happiest guy on the planet then aren't you?
Yes because I don't make uncessesary drama, especailly when there is no need to like in OPs case where the friend will not find out if she just keeps her mouth shut. Why ruin a relationship and friendship of a stupid ONS. What her friend doesn't know won't hurt her.
Just a minor point - how do know the best friend is female (for those using female pronouns)?
She will (most likely) never forgive you, but telling her is the right thing to do.
Right stop telling her to tell the friend.
The situation is as it stands she ****ed her friends bf and that's apparently FUBAR. But the friend currently doesn't know and as far as she is concerned her life is good with a friend and a bf. If OP tells her friend will most likely not forgive her or the bf and it will cause drama. If she doesn't tell her there's a chance she may never find out and they can go on like nothing happened. Her friend will be blissfuly ignorant. There is also a chance she may find out later, but lets be honest the consequences of her finding out later will be the same as op telling her right now i.e. it will end a friendship a relationship and cause drama. Look at it in terms of probablity. There's a small chance she may never find out if op shuts the **** up about it, whereas if she tells her now or the friend finds out later the consequences are the same. Might as well take your chances.
The situation is as it stands she ****ed her friends bf and that's apparently FUBAR. But the friend currently doesn't know and as far as she is concerned her life is good with a friend and a bf. If OP tells her friend will most likely not forgive her or the bf and it will cause drama. If she doesn't tell her there's a chance she may never find out and they can go on like nothing happened. Her friend will be blissfuly ignorant. There is also a chance she may find out later, but lets be honest the consequences of her finding out later will be the same as op telling her right now i.e. it will end a friendship a relationship and cause drama. Look at it in terms of probablity. There's a small chance she may never find out if op shuts the **** up about it, whereas if she tells her now or the friend finds out later the consequences are the same. Might as well take your chances.
I thought I posted in this thread earlier 
Is it just me who doesn't see the problem? It's really common for this to happen. He's her ex, and people are getting angry without knowing if they've been broken up a year, a decade, or whatever. People should probably have asked that before judging.
Is it just me who doesn't see the problem? It's really common for this to happen. He's her ex, and people are getting angry without knowing if they've been broken up a year, a decade, or whatever. People should probably have asked that before judging.
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