Girls, how would you feel about a guy who is a dating coach/gigolo/phone sex giver?

If I were also looking for a poly relationship, I wouldn't see a reason for rejecting you based solely on this. It would not put me off personally.

But telling someone is a difficult situation. The first thought is that you will not just be having a couple of other partners as might be common with poly relationships, you will have many, and with all you would be doing different things sexually. I think a woman would have a right to know this in some way purely for health reasons. Not suggesting you would ever be reckless with the safety side of things, however it is an exaggerated situation and it could be slightly selfish to not give them the information. You also would want to be even more aware of your new partner's sexual health, I'd imagine, so you could keep of course yourself healthy but also the many people you could potentially infect.

Apart from this reason, I think the only thing you are really obligated to do within a new relationship is let the woman clearly know that you are polyamorous and 'always will be' as far as you know. This has to be made so so obvious, I think. You may believe you have hinted it, suggested 'NSA' etc and believe she understands where you're coming from, but still your partner might think you're just keeping open and easy 'just in case'. You need to really be direct about the fact that there is no true monogamous future between you and her.

Unless it does ever become serious, and apart from the potential moral x health question above, I don't think you would necessarily need to make it clear what exactly you did for a living to a casual sex partner. Just don't ever allude that you are not doing it, obviously.

I'm always honest about my intentions, I feel that's only fair and I will definitely be crystal clear about my preference for open relationships as you say.

About STDs, sex workers are usually much more careful about their sexual health than most 'ordinary' people. It's a myth that sex workers are more likely to get or pass on STDs, as most go for regular STD tests and are very careful with contraceptives etc.

Actually, statistics show that most STDs are passed on between couples who are in monogamous 'boyfriend-girlfriend' type relationships. It's a myth that more STDs are caught from casual sex or open relationships.

Actually, statistics show that most STDs are passed on between couples who are in monogamous 'boyfriend-girlfriend' type relationships. It's a myth that more STDs are caught from casual sex or open relationships.

Don't assume I was condemning sex workers as less careful or more likely to pass on STDs, etc etc. I was not insinuating this. I've already spent about an hour on TSR arguing on the side of sex work and its workers, largely for hygiene, this weekend. P: I was merely suggesting that you do indeed be more aware, just as they often usually are, as you say. I think you misunderstood me/have a bit of a guard up against the subject. I do not believe that myth, and was not talking necessarily about the likelihood of catching an STD being raised, merely about the likelihood of it being passed on/around should there be one. More people are involved, thus more safety is required not because of the nature of the sex or situation, simply because you have others to be sexually 'responsible' for, if that makes sense. If you have dogs in a large garden it only takes one to get fleas for the rest to be vulnerable. So just make sure you know your dogs, for the sake of your cat.

Oh dear. If you're actually this daft you probably shouldn't be considering any of the above.

I think you just read this article.

No sorry, you obviously don't understand that most sex workers are very careful about their sexual health and hygiene. Most of them go for regular STD checks and are very stict with contraception etc.

On the contrary, many people in monogamous relationships get careless and lapse about contracrptives etc and if one partnet cheats (as happens a lot in monogamous relationships) then they can pass an STD onto their partner.

That is how most STDs are passed on.

Well of course I'll be very careful. The thing that freaks me out most is the thought of telling a girl I really like about my profession and she freaks out and I lose her. I mean hypothetically speaking, let's say you and I met randomnly and you thought I was a great guy and you were attracted to me, so we meet for a date in a coffee shop or something. At what point would I tell you about my line of work? Before sex, or after we'd had sex? If I mention my work during the date, the girl could freak out and I lose her, but if I wait until after sex to tell her she could be angry and feel duped or conned.

I maybe should just not give a **** what anyone thinks perhaps.

I think you just read this article.

About STDs, sex workers are usually much more careful about their sexual health than most 'ordinary' people. It's a myth that sex workers are more likely to get or pass on STDs, as most go for regular STD tests and are very careful with contraceptives etc.

It's definitely difficult. I have a very open attitude to sex so I personally, if as I say I were happy to have a poly relationship with you, would not be deterred by the thought that this is what you did.
You could definitely not give a crap what anyone thinks. However, I don't think you would have created this thread if you were capable of doing that, and I think it's brilliant that you can find the effort to give that crap. P: It's definitely a better way to go about it for both people concerned rather than for just yourself. If you are going to tell someone, I don't think you should wait until after sex. You will know when there is a good time. Obviously not in the opening conversation, but I am sure that so long as you remain thoughtful and keep it in mind, you'll know when the best time to let them know is. It doesn't have to be a massive changing point... however, it might be. You'll just have to live with that. I could imagine a lot of women not wanting to sleep with you on that very night, as it may be something that just requires a little more time to get over - so perhaps you could go on a date, let them know, and then be one step ahead and offer them that time to think on it. Then contact them, or let them contact you, a week or so later just seeing if they fancy a second date. That's, in my head, a good way to do it?



Hahah I saw that earlier too and was going to mention it... quite possibly the OP did. But doesn't remove the sincerity from the post I suppose. (:

Cute pussy.

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It's definitely difficult. I have a very open attitude to sex so I personally, if as I say I were happy to have a poly relationship with you, would not be deterred by the thought that this is what you did.
You could definitely not give a crap what anyone thinks. However, I don't think you would have created this thread if you were capable of doing that, and I think it's brilliant that you can find the effort to give that crap. P: It's definitely a better way to go about it for both people concerned rather than for just yourself. If you are going to tell someone, I don't think you should wait until after sex. You will know when there is a good time. Obviously not in the opening conversation, but I am sure that so long as you remain thoughtful and keep it in mind, you'll know when the best time to let them know is. It doesn't have to be a massive changing point... however, it might be. You'll just have to live with that. I could imagine a lot of women not wanting to sleep with you on that very night, as it may be something that just requires a little more time to get over - so perhaps you could go on a date, let them know, and then be one step ahead and offer them that time to think on it. Then contact them, or let them contact you, a week or so later just seeing if they fancy a second date. That's, in my head, a good way to do it?



Hahah I saw that earlier too and was going to mention it... quite possibly the OP did. But doesn't remove the sincerity from the post I suppose. (: