Relationship issues.. is it me?
Sorry for the long post...
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, I'm 17 and he's 19 in a few weeks so we have about 1 year and a half age difference. We've had little problems during our relationship before but now I'm becoming really upset/paranoid etc, I'm not sure if I'm the problem though.
Recently he's been lying to me, if I haven't heard from him for most of the day I'll give him a text and see what he's up too, just to see if he's alright and have a chat. Lately he's always been at home, on the xbox or with his family... apparently. However the other day I logged onto my facebook, to find that he was tagged in multiple posts from days when he'd told me he was at home, when he'd actually been to town/local gigs/out with his friends. I have NO problem whatsoever with him going out, I have very few friends as I'm really shy/quiet and I know what it's like to have no-one and be lonely, and I'd hate for him to feel like that. I'm glad he has friends and goes out. But why lie?! I spoke to him about it, he said he was sorry but his excuse was 'I didn't think you'd be interested'. I'm sorry but what?! I said I don't give two ****s about him going out, he can whenever he wants. I'm just so hurt from being lied to, and now I've become paranoid that he's lying to cover something up. I had Daddy issues when I was younger so find it hard to trust men. From being with my boyfriend for quite a while I've built up a lot of trust. But now I'm becoming really paranoid.
Tonight he picked me up from college and we went to his house. All he wanted to do was have sex, usually I would but I just didn't feel like it and wanted to talk (make up sex was on the cards though). But he got really pissed off at me for not wanting to, so I did. Afterwards, he told me he was going out and he would drop me back home. I feel so used.
He spends a lot of time with his friends and I feel like I'm being used, not just for sex but just so he always has someone there. I just don't feel happy in this relationship anymore, I cry a lot at home and it's making me feel miserable, paranoid and I'm feeling really uncomfortable in my body.
I want to fix things, how do I go about this? Am I being overly clingy? I don't believe that I'm clingy, I give him his own space and he spends most of his time out with his friends -which is fine, I just don't feel loved anymore. If our relationship ends, I feel like I'll have no-one. He's become my closest friend, and I don't have anyone that I socialise with, if I go out it's either with him or my dog (crazy dog lady).
I'm just sick of putting in effort and getting nothing but becoming upset out of it. Just need some advice, even if I am the problem.
thanks :-)
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, I'm 17 and he's 19 in a few weeks so we have about 1 year and a half age difference. We've had little problems during our relationship before but now I'm becoming really upset/paranoid etc, I'm not sure if I'm the problem though.
Recently he's been lying to me, if I haven't heard from him for most of the day I'll give him a text and see what he's up too, just to see if he's alright and have a chat. Lately he's always been at home, on the xbox or with his family... apparently. However the other day I logged onto my facebook, to find that he was tagged in multiple posts from days when he'd told me he was at home, when he'd actually been to town/local gigs/out with his friends. I have NO problem whatsoever with him going out, I have very few friends as I'm really shy/quiet and I know what it's like to have no-one and be lonely, and I'd hate for him to feel like that. I'm glad he has friends and goes out. But why lie?! I spoke to him about it, he said he was sorry but his excuse was 'I didn't think you'd be interested'. I'm sorry but what?! I said I don't give two ****s about him going out, he can whenever he wants. I'm just so hurt from being lied to, and now I've become paranoid that he's lying to cover something up. I had Daddy issues when I was younger so find it hard to trust men. From being with my boyfriend for quite a while I've built up a lot of trust. But now I'm becoming really paranoid.
Tonight he picked me up from college and we went to his house. All he wanted to do was have sex, usually I would but I just didn't feel like it and wanted to talk (make up sex was on the cards though). But he got really pissed off at me for not wanting to, so I did. Afterwards, he told me he was going out and he would drop me back home. I feel so used.
He spends a lot of time with his friends and I feel like I'm being used, not just for sex but just so he always has someone there. I just don't feel happy in this relationship anymore, I cry a lot at home and it's making me feel miserable, paranoid and I'm feeling really uncomfortable in my body.
I want to fix things, how do I go about this? Am I being overly clingy? I don't believe that I'm clingy, I give him his own space and he spends most of his time out with his friends -which is fine, I just don't feel loved anymore. If our relationship ends, I feel like I'll have no-one. He's become my closest friend, and I don't have anyone that I socialise with, if I go out it's either with him or my dog (crazy dog lady).
I'm just sick of putting in effort and getting nothing but becoming upset out of it. Just need some advice, even if I am the problem.
thanks :-)
This guy sounds like trouble. I think you're better off pursuing things with the dog.
First of all, I'm really sorry about your situation. Secondly, it sounds like you know things aren't right with your boyfriend and you don't sound like you're particularly happy. You should never just keep a relationship going because you feel like you won't have anybody else. To be honest it sounds like you barely have him anyway. I think you should break up with him and try and work on yourself for a little while. Join some interesting clubs, go to gigs, read some good books, watch some good tv, reconnect with old friends you maybe haven't talked to for a while. You're 17 so I assume you're going to be getting a job/going to university/starting an apprenticeship soon, you'll make friends there and hopefully find a boyfriend who doesn't lie to you/pressure you into sex/treat you as a secondary option. Relationships are supposed to make you happy, not cause you stress and make you cry.
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