I'm female and I've been 'friendzoned'....What the hell?!

You're just the kind of girl I keep meeting.

Freaking hell, just because a guy talks to you and hangs around with you, don't assume that he wants to get with you! Get over yourself. It's happened to me twice - I was genuinely just after friendship, and the girl thought I was going to make a move and said, for no apparent reason, that she doesn't see me in "that way". I never even asked her out.

See I agree that women getting "friend zoned" is definitely real and to think everyone would fancy you just because you're a girl is very naive.

However, attitudes like this do seem very prevalent in the boards...funny how they haven't turned up to voice their opinion.(this is also why I am 100% sure this is a troll and probably a boy)

The first paragraph makes me think OP is one of those girls that's got with a few of the "20% guys", and therefore thinks she's gods gift from heaven.

I think the way she put it ('why have you never tried to kiss me?') sounded arrogant, but when girls get creepy old man street harassment and constantly told they don't put out enough, or men need lots of porn or they'll resort to rape, or hear guys complaining that their wives aren't interested in sex, women are supposed to be sexual objets and spend all their time making themselves attractive to men and generally given the impression that men will have sex at any given opportunity...

...If a girl then offers herself up on a silver platter and is rejected then she feels like a complete failure as a human being.

Like WTF. They can't even fulfill the one basic role (apart from childbirth) some dudes think women are for. If dudes don't all have to 'fancy' a woman to get with her or some will have sex with a hole in a cardboard box but not with a woman it's a huge blow to the self esteem. Like there must be something REALLY wrong with her for a guy to not just take the opportunity.

You are no the first and not the last.

Even if you are hot, can cook, clean, sex, bake, I've the most amazing blowjob in the world and play all his favorite video games... it does not mean he will automatically want you...

Can somebody explain the difference between insecure, confident and arrogant/up yourself? It seems the lines are blurred esp between the latter

Thank you for giving a nice reply! I completely agree and yes I'm happy about it actually, my bestfriend reminded her I was asking her a few months ago, 'why don't guys want to be just friends with me?!' So I got my wish and I am grateful for the good conversation! I guess I was just weirded out when it actually happened!

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For all the people saying I'm conceited... wow. There are better looking girls than me, just as there are worse looking girls than me. It's just mine and my friends personal experiences that 'platonic' female-male friendships exist, only because the female creates that boundary. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
Plus from a psychological perspective... the more you have in common and like someone i.e friendship - the more attractive they are supposed to look to you. That's why I was confused/ thought it was a comment on my appearance.

It's not really anything to do with my personality and more to do with the fact I was brought up with the impression that guys, especially young guys, will pretty much get with anything that has a vagina when they're drunk...still pretty much anyone when they're sober if it's a one off/ making out...different rules apply for relationships. This schema of how guy mentality worked fitted with my own personal experiences. I guess I'm learning there are indeed exceptions to this generalisation.

Also, he's living in the same building as me but he's not a flatmate.

Anyone who believes that 'men need lots of porn or they'll resort to rape' isn't a normal human being.

TSR tries very hard to convince you that guys want to sleep with everything that has breasts (if they're attracted to women, that is), so it's pretty easy to start thinking that true. I have had friends in the past who've wanted to be more than that, but the number of platonic male friends I have is greater than that, and I wouldn't say I'm the worst looking girl in the world. I'm no Scarlett Johannsen but I'm fairly average, so I don't think you're being conceited, especially if guys have come on to you before, it's not unreasonable to assume that guys might be attracted. But yeah, some people really push the notion that guys and girls can't be friends, and that it tends to be the guy who always wants something more. Then they try and claim that girls know this and only become friends with guys to use them as human tissues for all their other relationship problems, rather than the idea that maybe they have something in common. It's a pretty nice situation to be actually, because I know that several of my friends don't see me that way and that I'm not in 'danger' of losing them as a friend because romantic stuff is in the way, as it were.

I think the way she put it ('why have you never tried to kiss me?') sounded arrogant, but when girls get creepy old man street harassment and constantly told they don't put out enough, or men need lots of porn or they'll resort to rape, or hear guys complaining that their wives aren't interested in sex, women are supposed to be sexual objets and spend all their time making themselves attractive to men and generally given the impression that men will have sex at any given opportunity...

...If a girl then offers herself up on a silver platter and is rejected then she feels like a complete failure as a human being.

Like WTF. They can't even fulfill the one basic role (apart from childbirth) some dudes think women are for. If dudes don't all have to 'fancy' a woman to get with her or some will have sex with a hole in a cardboard box but not with a woman it's a huge blow to the self esteem. Like there must be something REALLY wrong with her for a guy to not just take the opportunity.

Being confident doesn't mean that you possess no insecurities. It is not the highest state of self-actualisation that many people on here seem to claim through the wording of their posts. However, it is universally attractive, in both men and women.

Everyone has insecurities, such as not being happy with the way they look, or their intelligence, their lack of interests and hobbies which they feel they may be judged negatively on by other people.

When people say 'be confident' and/or 'I like confidence in people', they're actually referring to those with healthy levels of self-esteem. Mainly action-takers. As in, they know what they want, and they're willing to do anything within reason to get it. They're not the type to please others for the sake of it, and don't deem themselves as inferior to anybody else in their immediate environment. They are content within themselves, and realise that they are worthy to be here and refuse to let anybody else tell them otherwise.

Arrogance, is basically a confident person who continually views themselves as superior to others or the top dog in the building for whatever reason. They have an unhealthy level of self-esteem (high), and try to make it known to others around them that they are holier than you. As with the OP's case, using her looks - she states several times how the men in her halls are unattractive, and even the guy she wants attention from is also "nothing special", claiming that she can get with guys with superior physical aesthetics.

Note, both introverts and extroverts can be arrogant. =]

I think the way she put it ('why have you never tried to kiss me?') sounded arrogant, but when girls get creepy old man street harassment and constantly told they don't put out enough, or men need lots of porn or they'll resort to rape, or hear guys complaining that their wives aren't interested in sex, women are supposed to be sexual objets and spend all their time making themselves attractive to men and generally given the impression that men will have sex at any given opportunity...

...If a girl then offers herself up on a silver platter and is rejected then she feels like a complete failure as a human being.

Like WTF. They can't even fulfill the one basic role (apart from childbirth) some dudes think women are for. If dudes don't all have to 'fancy' a woman to get with her or some will have sex with a hole in a cardboard box but not with a woman it's a huge blow to the self esteem. Like there must be something REALLY wrong with her for a guy to not just take the opportunity.

You're playing games. Glad he saw through it and friendzoned you. If it was me you'd not even have the pleasure of the latter you shallow female.

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