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Boyfriend wants to quit his job

So me and my boyfriend are planning to move into together june time and we are both in reasonably well paid jobs (I earn around £1100 where he earns around £1000) - we've literally just had a couple of days apart as I we we're getting frustrated with each other as i want to start saving money whereas if he wants to go out, he'll go out - I think his words were 'I don't like being told what to do' - anyway I gave him a couple of days to think about whether he wanted to be with me and get a place together which he eventually said yes too - he's only been in this job for about 2 months and it's sales based and he's not liking it - he text me earlier saying he wants to leave as he can't do the job anymore in which I replied that it was fine but he needs to find another job first - he replied saying he just wants to leave so I don't know how to say to him that if he's serious about getting a place together he needs to stay and be earning because I can't support us both. Any advice? Thanks :smile:

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Reply 1

ISawBum

Are you his girlfriend or his mother?

Reply 2

meenu89

Original post by ISawBum

Are you his girlfriend or his mother?

He can't quit his job without having another lined up.

Reply 3

ISawBum

Original post by meenu89

He can't quit his job without having another lined up.

Why? Because his ball and chain says so?

Reply 4

Zarek

You're not compatible. Break up and look after yourself or find a rich man.

Reply 5

meenu89

Original post by ISawBum

Why? Because his ball and chain says so?

Well technically he can, but then they won't be able to get a place together.

Reply 6

Valyrian

Original post by ISawBum

Why? Because his ball and chain says so?

Because economically they would be in a **** position?

Reply 7

ISawBum

Original post by lilypear

Because economically they would be in a **** position?

Surely it's his call to make with regards to how he spends his money.

Reply 8

ISawBum

Original post by meenu89

Well technically he can, but then they won't be able to get a place together.

Damn straight - he's a free man, he can do as he pleases. If he has no respect for his woman, that's a different issue.

Reply 9

Huskaris

Original post by meenu89

He can't quit his job without having another lined up.

Meenu

is right, even though the OP is being a bit of an ******** about it.

Reply 10

Advanced Subsidiary

Original post by ISawBum

Surely it's his call to make with regards to how he spends his money.

Yes, but if he wants this move to be a successful one - then he needs to be more selfless, and ideally should think ahead.

Reply 11

ISawBum

Original post by Advanced Subsidiary

Yes, but if he wants this move to be a successful one - then he needs to be more selfless, and ideally should think ahead.

But this thread is about him quitting his job - he has every right to do this.

Maybe he just doesn't want to cohabit with the OP because she acts like his mother.

Reply 12

Phelps

How am I being an arse over this?

At the end of the day we're not 13, we want a future together, I'm just trying to figure out how to be diplomatic about how to go around it.

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Reply 13

meenu89

Original post by ISawBum

But this thread is about him quitting his job - he has every right to do this.

Maybe he just doesn't want to cohabit with the OP because she acts like his mother.

Well if he doesn't want to 'co-habit' as you put it, maybe he should stop acting like a child and tell her?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Talk to him honestly about the way you feel, and try to make him see where you're coming from. Encourage him to stay in the job, so that you can both be financially secure, but if he doesn't want to, then its up to him. You could always try to help him find another job, but if he refuses to listen just move on. Maybe he's not the one for you anyway, if he doesn't listen to what you have to say, or at least take on-board your advice...

Reply 15

Advanced Subsidiary

Original post by ISawBum

But this thread is about him quitting his job - he has every right to do this.

Maybe he just doesn't want to cohabit with the OP because she acts like his mother.

In fact it's about several things.

- Quitting his job
- Not making an effort to save
- Wants to move in with GF despite having no job.

I think he doesn't want to cohabit with OP, because he realises that he won't be able to spend carelessly anymore. :tongue:

OP: He has a right to quit his job if he wants to. Just be sure you don't move in until he has regular income coming in.

Reply 16

ISawBum

Original post by meenu89

Well if he doesn't want to 'co-habit' as you put it, maybe he should stop acting like a child and tell her?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the word cohabit. I am not sure why you put it in quotes so I am, therefore, refusing to respond to your point.

Reply 17

Advanced Subsidiary

Original post by Phelps

How am I being an arse over this?

At the end of the day we're not 13, we want a future together, I'm just trying to figure out how to be diplomatic about how to go around it.

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You ain't.

If he leaves his job, ensure he gets another one before moving in. Simples.

Reply 18

ISawBum

Original post by Advanced Subsidiary

Wants to move in with GF despite having no job.

I dispute this assertion - we have not received any evidence that backs it up.

Reply 19

Where'sPerry?

I completely agree that it's important to find another job first. At least you've got your partner to the stage where he is agreeing to save up to to move in together though, I'm not there with mine yet :tongue:

Two months is really not very long to stay in the job though. It looks awful if you put that on your CV but if you leave it off, it looks like a gap in employment; it's catch-22 if he does quit immediately. After two months in my current job I still felt very incompetent and I had some absolutely horrible days where I wanted to leave but things have definitely improved since then. However, if the job is truly a bad fit for him and it's causing him a lot of stress then I'd say the best solution might possibly be for him to quit. The thing is, I can definitely understand your desire to save up but from your OP, it sounds like the reality is that you're in a situation where that income is not absolutely 100% necessary at this point in time i.e. you're either living at home or in halls. Please correct me if I'm wrong, it's just what it seemed like from the post!! :redface:

If that's the case, in the long run it's probably better for him to be free of the job he is hating since otherwise he may resent you for it. Just my two cents.