This situation with my dad.. advice?

Today I was checking around the house for a free outlet I could use to charge my phone. When I couldn't find any I started checking the battery lives of the devices that were already charging and got a shock when I got to my dad's phone. His background wallpaper was of a woman I'd never seen before in my life. Plus the way in which the picture was taken was dare I say... alluring?

Some people might say that I should just leave this alone or it isn't a big deal or blablabla.. But I should stress that this really affected me because I learned when I was 11 that my mum was my dad's second wife and has 3 children with his first wife (who he is still married to). We all have to get together once in a while and there is a lot of hostility. Even before I was 11 my childhood wasn't great because my parents argued a lot because my mum had a strong suspicion that he was seeing another woman again. This died soon after I was 13 and henceforth it was rare that my mum suspected him of cheating, so they rarely argued about this matter. I'm 17 now and seeing a photo of strange woman (who in my opinion looks like she could be a hooker) on my dad's phone just brings back all the terrible memories from my childhood.

I wish I had never looked at his phone because then I never would've seen the possibility of my dad having another woman on the side again. I don't know what to do. Part of me feels tempted to find out who she is but I'm not one to snoop through other people's phones and I really don't want to tell my mum or my brother because I don't want to go back to the days where my parents did nothing but argue endlessly. I'm really bothered by this so I would really appreciate if someone could give me some advice on what to do. I apologize for the long post but cheers for reading if you got this far. x

Reply 1

LittleBookworm

I would ask to use his phone. Make up an excuse, say it's an emergency. If he hands it to you as it is then maybe the woman isn't someone he wants to hide, he wouldn't hand an image of someone he's having an affair with to his kid, and you can calmly ask him about the picture. If he changes it quickly and looks panicked then there's probably something up and i suggest you tell someone. It's better to get it out sooner. Especially if your brother and mum find out you knew and didn't tell them.
This is a sucky situation to be in and I'm sorry

Reply 2

tonberry

14

He's with your mum but has his phone wallpaper as another woman and he just leaves the phone lying around the house charging? Are you sure it's not just a random picture off the internet of a hot woman?

Reply 3

Lilyghz

OP

12

Original post by tonberry

He's with your mum but has his phone wallpaper as another woman and he just leaves the phone lying around the house charging? Are you sure it's not just a random picture off the internet of a hot woman?

I'm positive he hasn't just taken it off the internet. As of late I've noticed that he's getting a ton more messages than he used to. It could easily be his work colleagues but this is just what I've noticed, and finding that picture has just thrown me off any other explanations other than he's having an affair. Whenever he uses it around myself, my brother or my mum he always has his screen turned away and always places his phone face down. He never used to take his phone into the room with him when he goes to bed but he does now. It's not like anyone dares to just take his phone but he's been protective of it.

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(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 4

Lilyghz

OP

12

Original post by LittleBookworm

I would ask to use his phone. Make up an excuse, say it's an emergency. If he hands it to you as it is then maybe the woman isn't someone he wants to hide, he wouldn't hand an image of someone he's having an affair with to his kid, and you can calmly ask him about the picture. If he changes it quickly and looks panicked then there's probably something up and i suggest you tell someone. It's better to get it out sooner. Especially if your brother and mum find out you knew and didn't tell them.
This is a sucky situation to be in and I'm sorry

Yeah I guess that sounds sensible. I'll think about it and see if I can try it at the right time. It's the aftermath that I'm more concerned about. :/

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Reply 5

tonberry

14

Original post by Lilyghz

I'm positive he hasn't just taken it off the internet. As of late I've noticed that he's getting a ton more messages than he used to and whenever he uses it around myself, my brother or my mum he always has his screen turned away and always places his phone face down. He never used to take his phone into the room with him when he goes to bed but he does now. It's not like anyone dares to just take his phone but he's been protective of it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yeah fair enough that is weird. But changing your phone wallpaper to another woman is ridiculously risky and stupid. That bit just doesn't make sense to me.

This situation with my dad.. advice?

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