The Student Room Group

Tired of people judging my Muslim girlfriend

Hello.

I date a girl who just happens to be a Muslim. This is her choice and I accept it just like she accepts that I'm an atheist. We agree that our religion is down to complete personal choice and that it certainly shouldn't determine if we can be together or not. As my girlfriend is a Muslim, she wears the traditional Muslim attire this being the hijab and burqa.

We live in London but as it's the summer, she's staying with me at my parents house in a small town in Kent. Immediately I knew that we would stand out against the white crowd but we're quite resilient and we didn't particularly care for the opinions of others until we took a bus ride into our local town. This town is quite a low wealth area and the people who live here are very downtrodden and bigoted.

Yesterday we experienced what was obvious racism walking down the high street. I was holding my girlfriend's hand when a guy approached us. This guy was very short and unkempt in his appearance and I knew he was going to cause trouble.

He starting asking me personal questions I can't type on here as they're too explicit but they were sexual in nature. My girlfriend was intimidated and so was I and we couldn't seem to escape this man despite our every efforts. I told him to 'back off' and he immediately became 'offensive' and 'confrontational' to a point where other people were looking at us. So I got out my phone and dialed 999. He spat in my girlfriend's face and ran off.

I then had to tell the operator that we didn't need police assistance and that we were in a position to leave the area safely by ourselves.

My girlfriend was crying and now she wants to go back to London ASAP. I told my parents of this and they said 'Well, what do you expect. You brought a Muslim girlfriend into a rural area'.

I was honestly shocked at their words because I believed prior to this event that we live in a multicultural society. Evidently we do not and there are still people out there with severe racist views. These people aren't confined to the lower classes either. I've experienced racism throughout in the higher classes but it's more discrete than those people who can't control their anger in poorer areas...

I'm so annoyed.

Scroll to see replies

Please tell me what the point of this relationship is? She's going to end up marrying a muslim guy whether you like it or not so you might aswell save both yourselves the heartbreak and end it.

Something tells me you're an experienced troll though..
Original post by Stephen H
I was honestly shocked at their words because I believed prior to this event that we live in a multicultural society. Evidently we do not and there are still people out there with severe racist views. These people aren't confined to the lower classes either. I've experienced racism throughout in the higher classes but it's more discrete than those people who can't control their anger in poorer areas...

I'm so annoyed.


We do, as you're girlfriend being of a different culture is an example of multicultural Britain. People don't necessarily accept multicultural Britain though and feel insecure with other cultures they don't properly know or understand. It's much like the US in the 70's. Laws were in place to prevent racism but people were still racist because a law doesn't change a view or feeling. Here multiculturalism exists but some people reject it.

I don't know what to say, I'm shocked someone would act in such a stupid way. The spitting and harassment is outrageous. If the perosn was askign questions about why she wears the clothing she does or why you support her wearing such attire etc... as it shows an interest and can lead to healthy debate, is understandable. If you then said please go away and he didn't, then it wouldn't be acceptable.
Reply 3
Original post by Secretnerd123
Please tell me what the point of this relationship is? She's going to end up marrying a muslim guy whether you like it or not so you might aswell save both yourselves the heartbreak and end it.

Something tells me you're an experienced troll though..


This is the kind of attitude my parents have and it's ridiculous. They hate that my girlfriend is a Muslim but why? She is a very nice person but they don't see this because they are too busy moaning about her religion. Since when does religion make two people incompatible?

Why is it acceptable for a Christian and Atheist to be together but not a Muslim or Atheist?
Multicultural Britain -- let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

Unless you're in a major city, ethnic minorities are subject to prejudice, racism, and contempt from the native white population.
Reply 5
Original post by tehforum
Multicultural Britain -- let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
ethnic minorities are subject to prejudice, racism, and contempt from the native white population.


Fixed
Original post by Stephen H
This is the kind of attitude my parents have and it's ridiculous. They hate that my girlfriend is a Muslim but why? She is a very nice person but they don't see this because they are too busy moaning about her religion. Since when does religion make two people incompatible?

Why is it acceptable for a Christian and Atheist to be together but not a Muslim or Atheist?


It's a sin for muslims to marry non-muslims and she should know this. Have you even thought about your long term plans? How you're going to meet her family? Whether the future kids will be raised as muslims or not and the implications that would have?

Its just not going to work.
If she's going to wear a hijab, atleast tell her to fix up behave like how a muslim girl should act or take it off because she's clearly not practicing the faith how it should be (i assume she has committed zina with you). Just end it for both your sakes
Reply 7
Original post by Stephen H
This is the kind of attitude my parents have and it's ridiculous. They hate that my girlfriend is a Muslim but why? She is a very nice person but they don't see this because they are too busy moaning about her religion. Since when does religion make two people incompatible?

Why is it acceptable for a Christian and Atheist to be together but not a Muslim or Atheist?


A Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. So either you will have to turn into a Muslim yourself, she will have turn her back on Islam, or she will eventually decide to call it quits and end it with you because her religion doesn't allow her to marry a non-Muslim.

There are different laws for Muslim men, they are allowed to marry Muslims, Christians and Jews, who are virgins (unless they had another marriage before meeting you).
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 8
Original post by Secretnerd123
It's a sin for muslims to marry non-muslims and she should know this. Have you even thought about your long term plans? How you're going to meet her family? Whether the future kids will be raised as muslims or not and the implications that would have?

Its just not going to work.
If she's going to wear a hijab, atleast tell her to fix up behave like how a muslim girl should act or take it off because she's clearly not practicing the faith how it should be (i assume she has committed zina with you). Just end it for both your sakes


I said I'm an atheist in my post but really I think that I become a Muslim if this meant that we could be together. We have been together for 5 months now and she has committed zina with me but she also sees herself as a Muslim in some respects but not in others. She wears religious clothing because it makes her feel secure but she's also quite Western in her thinking. We eventually want to have children but we're still undecided as to which religion they would follow. We agree that it's best for the child to decide its own religion like we did...

No we certainly won't 'end it' thanks. If anything this event has made us stronger. We have talked about the future a lot and she knows that her parents would not approve of our relationship but they live in Turkey and aren't apart of her life. So, she is free to choose who she wants to be in a relationship with.

We like to think we are the 'modern British couple' representing multiculturalism in the UK
(edited 9 years ago)
Am I reading this right!!, Op you say she wears the hijab and burqa?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Not sure if you're a troll but this clearly isn't a case of racism.

But anyway, people are free to judge your girlfriend as they wish, unless you'd like some thought police. Just get over it and tell her to.
She'll wear a hijab/burqa but would still have premarital sex with a non Muslim which is forbidden according to her faith

She seems like a plonker
Such an obvious troll.


One thing I would say, bringing an Asian Muslim girl into a White community, would be so much easier than an Asian Muslim bringing a White Atheist into her community...
Tbh her own people do see her as a sellout (and worse) for commiting zina.
Assuming this is true, obviously that kind of behaviour is unacceptable.

But why are you dating a Muslim girl? It will lead nowhere, as she is clearly a strict Muslim and will therefore marry a Muslim guy.

Besides, the veil is rude and a stupid anachronism from a bygone era of ultra-conservatism. Thankfully we don't live in a fully multicultural society. I don't want that medieval nonsense in the UK.
I'm inclined to believe this is a troll thread for the simple reason of why would a Muslim girl who wears the hijab / burqa date an atheist / non muslim? Either that or she is stupid / doesn't believe in her faith.

However, if this is true, I'm wondering why you're shocked. How can anyone be shocked? We live in one of the most tolerant/multicultural countries, but the bar is set pretty low throughout the world.
(edited 9 years ago)
OP, please clarify what you mean by the 'burka'. Do you mean a face veil?

I'm not judging, I promise. Just very curious. I wear a hijab (a head wrap) and even if I were to have a boyfriend, I don't think I could be caught dead with him in the streets. I'd just feel like a bizarre spectacle.
Reply 17
Original post by tomfailinghelp
Not sure if you're a troll but this clearly isn't a case of racism.

But anyway, people are free to judge your girlfriend as they wish, unless you'd like some thought police. Just get over it and tell her to.


What if I spat in your face, I'm allowed to think as I wish right?
Freedom of expression is one thing, but there's a certain red line bro.
Reply 18
The only way you can have this girl as your wife! and not your girlfriend is that you embrace Islam and you get married asap. Since your an athiest where most athiest are ignorant, it will be highly unlikely that things will ever work out for both of you. Convert to Islam for your own reason and not for hers. Otherwise you are completley wasting your time. She should know better that a girl friend boyfriend relationship is strictly forbidden for various reasons. I'm not suprised at all that she was treated in this way. Above all you put her into this mess and she should end it and go back to London. What is the point of a girlfriend boyfriend relationship? Nothing!

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 19
I'm sorry you had to experience that, that's disgraceful. As an atheist myself I feel offended people have to stoop so damn low. I live in London and things are much calmer here, and I often see Muslim girls in hijabs walking around freely. Just ignore those idiots, they've honestly got nothing else better to do.

Anyone who says all Muslims are bad needs a reality check ASAP. Some people on TSR will hype about Muslims being this and that but in real life they won't dare say **** in public.

Latest