Dating/pursuing girls is like clubbing - boring
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Original post by rickfloss
Do you understand what your writing?
I play soccer once a week, do i see any girls there , yes i do, are those girls unattractive, yes they are.
I play soccer once a week, do i see any girls there , yes i do, are those girls unattractive, yes they are.
Yes but it's not about girls, it's about whether you enjoy it.
If i do comicon as a hobby and ignore every girl, that i will get girls?
Conventions are festooned these days with geek girls, so unlike football you will probably have interaction with girls here. The question becomes, are you more concerned with getting a "hot" girl or are you more concerned with getting one you actually enjoy being around (assuming you do genuinely enjoy comics)?
Men have hobbies but they are destroyed when men realise, what is the point of having a hobby when no girl you like will ever like you back?
Because hobbies aren't anything to do with getting girls, they're everything to do with enjoying your life on your own terms.
Getting girls is just something ancillary that happens when you feel like you're having a good time with your life, because you project confidence.
If you are disappointed that a hobby hasn't got you a girl, you have missed the point spectacularly.
Women have special physiological ways of deducing if you are viable as a mate, no matter how good looking you are>
So what? So do men. Get over it, there's no way to make it go away. You equally won't go out with a whale no matter how good a personality she has.
If after football your tired and therefore your social dominance suffers, a woman will instantly recognise this, and her attraction towards you will be utterly destroyed
Black-and-white thinking. This would only be remotely applicable if you were approaching random women who didn't have a schema of you in their minds already.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by ubi1
Convert to Islam because one of the biggest rights in Marriage is that the man has unrestricted access to a woman's body and women have to obey men as long as its not disobedience to god, men in return have to provide and maintain for women.
So...basically rape.
****ing disgusting. I'd like to see how you feel being forcibly had sex with.
Original post by ubi1
Same can be said for women, are you female by any chance?
nope, and i agree that woman also can feel the same
But as always, if a man takes a picture of himself and sticks it up on tinder, if he seems shy/inhibited he will not get any or very very few matches
compare that with a "ugly" girl who if she would learn make up, would get plenty of matches from eligible men
A good looking man with poor social skills/aspergers will endure hundreds of rejections to be able to date 1 women, and i know i am attractive by the mere fact that the girl i had a crush on ( like major most beautiful girl ever)had a crush on me, and yet i couldnt do anything.
i am trying to turn my skin into hippopotamus skin , as ridicuolus as that sounds, as thick skin is the best predictor of success against females when comparing men with poor social talent.
As a man with a social disability, the only way i will ever get a attractive woman for a date is that i will have to surrond myself with these women, i know hang around uni clubs by myself or others who share my views, we also hang around uni campuses( but trust me, we think less peverted then the 'Shy" men on campus, as me and a few of my friends were once these guys)
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by rickfloss
ok young padawan, you have much to learn
Oh dear, you're talking to me via Star Wars references. Of course only the most serious and adult discussion could come from this.
Teach me all the ways about how feminism is actually a plot by evil evil women who wish to take over mankind and how the manosphere is our only hope, and how the world's social systems work on an Alpha/Beta structure, and how men are now at a disadvantage to women because they get all the perks and how easy it is for them to get sex, those evil evil women have it so easy don't they? Tell me all about how reality is that someone will leave you for someone better because they're more alpha than you, and how all our thoughts and actions are because our genitals tell us to do so because everyone wants sex and men want sex with women and women want sex with men and that consent is a really fuzzy thing when you think about it because what if she says yes when she's drunk and you're both into it and the night after she regrets it and it's not fair because she said yes.
Tell me all about how to determine a woman 'worth' dating and how the number scale works because all women should be judged on their looks because that's how it has always been since the dawn of mankind, looks are everything and personality is weak and means nothing unless she's a bitch because avoid her at all costs because she's probably a feminist and wants to be treated like a human but that's dumb because they're already being treated as human as possible and we're just appreciating the female form when making advertisements with almost completely nude women and heavily sexualising them, we're doing them a favour and making them feel good, they should owe us for it with sex.
I dare you to read it, I even split it into two paragraphs so you can take a break while reading.
Original post by le_darkhorse
Do you know what ... as much as what he said seems slightly on the extreme scale, he isn't all that wrong.
That's part of the issue as well. I'm sick and tired of not being good enough for what would be a similar equivalent to myself in terms of look/status. Why a I not good enough? Because I don't score 10's across looks, status , wealth, confidence, body etc etc. Girls want the best mate and I will never be a best mate for the equivalent of myself because there are always better looking ore confident more wealthy more socially higher up the ladder men who will want the same girl as myself.
Anyways, whatever.
That's part of the issue as well. I'm sick and tired of not being good enough for what would be a similar equivalent to myself in terms of look/status. Why a I not good enough? Because I don't score 10's across looks, status , wealth, confidence, body etc etc. Girls want the best mate and I will never be a best mate for the equivalent of myself because there are always better looking ore confident more wealthy more socially higher up the ladder men who will want the same girl as myself.
Anyways, whatever.
OP, there is no endgame, there's no super status to get to, the numbers scale fails because all the parameters are subjective and ignore thousands of other variables. There is more than one path to a happy life but you're aiming for Narnia. There are no RPG stats to fill to the max because real life is so much more complex and people are so much more complex than can be put into words.
You're worrying too much about 'majority votes' but the problem with that is that you're a person and not a product. Coca Cola has many different variations of their product to appeal to as many people as possible, there's only one of you. You don't have to be liked by everybody because there's always somebody with a view opposite to you, or holds prejudiced views of you.
I can understand it'll take a while to clear out all your thoughts of how to become the best person you can be, but those thoughts are toxic for you and everyone else.
Just work on gathering people you would consider as friends, do your utter best to ignore any worried about status because unless you're planning on becoming a lawyer in one of thise high-up business buildings in the US, it honestly means nothing, really. And if it does matter to people, get away from them.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by SophieSmall
Do you know what I always see guys complaining that they are not the best on this damn forum and it's starting to piss me off.
I don't care how much money you have, I don't care if you are a manager at work or if you are a 10/10 in looks.
I have never dated a 10/10 guy even though I've been asked out by one a couple of times. Want to know why? I had nothing in common with them. The most important thing to me is personality, and while yes a degree of physical attraction is needed you do not need to be anywhere near a 10/10. Not for relationships. Looks fade. Stop alienating yourself from women because of unfounded beliefs you hold. You are digging yourself a hole and you're going to make yourself miserable for it.
I don't care how much money you have, I don't care if you are a manager at work or if you are a 10/10 in looks.
I have never dated a 10/10 guy even though I've been asked out by one a couple of times. Want to know why? I had nothing in common with them. The most important thing to me is personality, and while yes a degree of physical attraction is needed you do not need to be anywhere near a 10/10. Not for relationships. Looks fade. Stop alienating yourself from women because of unfounded beliefs you hold. You are digging yourself a hole and you're going to make yourself miserable for it.
Well maybe you are in a minority then. I don't believe women are as pure as you make yourselves out to be. Woemn are every bit as vain and vapid as men.
Edit: If every girl was interested in personality they would likely go down the library or chess club and not going out clubbing every weekend.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by le_darkhorse
Well maybe you are in a minority then. I don't believe women are as pure as you make yourselves out to be. Woemn are every bit as vain and vapid as men.
I do believe that both males and females can be vain. But I do not for a second believe the majority of women base long term relationships on mainly looks.
Original post by SophieSmall
So...basically rape.
****ing disgusting. I'd like to see how you feel being forcibly had sex with.
****ing disgusting. I'd like to see how you feel being forcibly had sex with.
raping women is disobedience to god which he has no right to, what I said is that a man has the right to have sex with his wife whenever he wants but the wife can refuse but if its not a legitimate reason then its classed as a sin. This is because in Islam the nikah (marriage) is a contract whereby a man provides for the wife and in return she and him can have physical relations, raise children etc.
Original post by le_darkhorse
Well maybe you are in a minority then. I don't believe women are as pure as you make yourselves out to be. Woemn are every bit as vain and vapid as men.
Edit: If every girl was interested in personality they would likely go down the library or chess club and not going out clubbing every weekend.
Edit: If every girl was interested in personality they would likely go down the library or chess club and not going out clubbing every weekend.
Your right most women are not sexually pure but most men are, coming back to Islam get married to a pure virgin girl
Original post by scrotgrot
Yes but it's not about girls, it's about whether you enjoy it.
Conventions are festooned these days with geek girls, so unlike football you will probably have interaction with girls here. The question becomes, are you more concerned with getting a "hot" girl or are you more concerned with getting one you actually enjoy being around (assuming you do genuinely enjoy comics)?
Because hobbies aren't anything to do with getting girls, they're everything to do with enjoying your life on your own terms.
Getting girls is just something ancillary that happens when you feel like you're having a good time with your life, because you project confidence.
If you are disappointed that a hobby hasn't got you a girl, you have missed the point spectacularly.
So what? So do men. Get over it, there's no way to make it go away. You equally won't go out with a whale no matter how good a personality she has.
Black-and-white thinking. This would only be remotely applicable if you were approaching random women who didn't have a schema of you in their minds already.
Conventions are festooned these days with geek girls, so unlike football you will probably have interaction with girls here. The question becomes, are you more concerned with getting a "hot" girl or are you more concerned with getting one you actually enjoy being around (assuming you do genuinely enjoy comics)?
Because hobbies aren't anything to do with getting girls, they're everything to do with enjoying your life on your own terms.
Getting girls is just something ancillary that happens when you feel like you're having a good time with your life, because you project confidence.
If you are disappointed that a hobby hasn't got you a girl, you have missed the point spectacularly.
So what? So do men. Get over it, there's no way to make it go away. You equally won't go out with a whale no matter how good a personality she has.
Black-and-white thinking. This would only be remotely applicable if you were approaching random women who didn't have a schema of you in their minds already.
Do you realise how much depression can destroy enjoyment in hobbies
Imagine hanging a fully fuctional eye in front of a man whose blind in one eye and extremely poor vision then another. Imagine sticking this eye on a stick and dangling it from his head,
Now tell me , would he still enjoy his hobbies?
Realise that having low social talent pretty much destroys other aspects of your social life, so its not just about girls
Mass rejection by your peers, Mass rejection by women is all a side effect of poor social talent
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by SophieSmall
I do believe that both males and females can be vain. But I do not for a second believe the majority of women base long term relationships on mainly looks.
Most relationships are based on the attractiveness of the female and the social dominance of the male
Looks give a boost in social dominance, but a disabilty such as aspergers syndrome will destroy all social dominance of a male and make him highly unnattractive in the eyes of a female
Bullying in general is to expose weak men, its designed to remove competition from other males in the dating market
Evolution is beautiful
Original post by rickfloss
ok young padawan, you have much to learn
An example
go to the social anxiety forums
see how many men talk about never having a girlfriend, then see how many women talk about SA, and all the women had was their boyfriend and families
Anecdotal evidence isnt proof, but is a reason to conduct further research
An example
go to the social anxiety forums
see how many men talk about never having a girlfriend, then see how many women talk about SA, and all the women had was their boyfriend and families
Anecdotal evidence isnt proof, but is a reason to conduct further research
Oh, so you edited it.
Why do you think so many men are anxious about never having a girlfriend? Do you think it could be other men talking about how there just so happens to be some sort of hierarchy of alpha and beta men and they're now comparing themselves to other men over trivial matters?
Original post by rickfloss
Most relationships are based on the attractiveness of the female and the social dominance of the male
Looks give a boost in social dominance, but a disabilty such as aspergers syndrome will destroy all social dominance of a male and make him highly unnattractive in the eyes of a female
Bullying in general is to expose weak men, its designed to remove competition from other males in the dating market
Evolution is beautiful
Looks give a boost in social dominance, but a disabilty such as aspergers syndrome will destroy all social dominance of a male and make him highly unnattractive in the eyes of a female
Bullying in general is to expose weak men, its designed to remove competition from other males in the dating market
Evolution is beautiful
Some of the **** you come out with is unreal. I feel genuinely sorry for you.
Original post by SophieSmall
I do believe that both males and females can be vain. But I do not for a second believe the majority of women base long term relationships on mainly looks.
Wwhat age are we talking? Young girls or women 30+?
Original post by ubi1
Your right most women are not sexually pure but most men are, coming back to Islam get married to a pure virgin girl
no thanks, i find islam repugnant but this discussion is not about islam.
Original post by le_darkhorse
I'm just sick of it all. Spending my life looking at girls, trying to find girls to have sex with and in some occasions having sex. Then realising that it wasn't that amazing because I was drunk and/or I didn't really fancy her.
Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm in my early twenties but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I can't be bothered trying it with a pretty girl who I don't particularly fancy just so I can get in bed with her. I can't be bothered wining and dining her for 3 months when I know that actually she isn't the type of girl deep down that I would wish to be with.
I don't like 'flirting' or games or whatever. Deep down I would love to be in a relationship with a girl I love and just settled with a nice mature girl. But I have never had a relationship and I can't foresee myself having one. There's too much bull**** to get through before things happen.
I'm tired of texting a girl and then for whatever reason it fizzles out. Why can't it be as simple and straightforward as ' do you like me and want to get to know me better? yes or ****ing no? pronto. coffee it is '. Instead you have to spend ages texting them, thinking how to say things carefully so you are not seeming boring or clingy or this or that. ****ing hell.
I'm just sick of it all like I'm sick of going out and getting wasted on the weekend, so boring. I want to remove myself from this type of society alltogether.
Anyone else feel this way?
Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm in my early twenties but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I can't be bothered trying it with a pretty girl who I don't particularly fancy just so I can get in bed with her. I can't be bothered wining and dining her for 3 months when I know that actually she isn't the type of girl deep down that I would wish to be with.
I don't like 'flirting' or games or whatever. Deep down I would love to be in a relationship with a girl I love and just settled with a nice mature girl. But I have never had a relationship and I can't foresee myself having one. There's too much bull**** to get through before things happen.
I'm tired of texting a girl and then for whatever reason it fizzles out. Why can't it be as simple and straightforward as ' do you like me and want to get to know me better? yes or ****ing no? pronto. coffee it is '. Instead you have to spend ages texting them, thinking how to say things carefully so you are not seeming boring or clingy or this or that. ****ing hell.
I'm just sick of it all like I'm sick of going out and getting wasted on the weekend, so boring. I want to remove myself from this type of society alltogether.
Anyone else feel this way?
Yes, I think many feel this way...or will eventually. The heavy drinking and partying and sole focus on sex just keeps you distracted on some of the real jewels in life. You need to do some searching, traveling and a lot of thinking. When you get to deeper aspects in your life, you will probably attract similar people.
I don't know where you live, but if its in the UK, its much harder to meet girls if its not in a club/bar etc. :/
Heartbreak is normal with relationships, but it usually doesn't outweigh the positives, at least for me..
Original post by rickfloss
Do you realise how much depression can destroy enjoyment in hobbies
Imagine hanging a fully fuctional eye in front of a man whose blind in one eye and extremely poor vision then another. Imagine sticking this eye on a stick and dangling it from his head,
Now tell me , would he still enjoy his hobbies?
Realise that having low social talent pretty much destroys other aspects of your social life, so its not just about girls
Mass rejection by your peers, Mass rejection by women is all a side effect of poor social talent
Imagine hanging a fully fuctional eye in front of a man whose blind in one eye and extremely poor vision then another. Imagine sticking this eye on a stick and dangling it from his head,
Now tell me , would he still enjoy his hobbies?
Realise that having low social talent pretty much destroys other aspects of your social life, so its not just about girls
Mass rejection by your peers, Mass rejection by women is all a side effect of poor social talent
Of course I do, I've been depressed myself for a while now and have anhedonia for a lot of things. But depression and "low social talent" can't be addressed by having a tantrum and insisting that women ought to be attracted to you. You can't really get out of depression without coming to believe you have an internal locus of control. I understand about the eye and how hot girls rejecting you is a particularly visceral mocking presence in your life, every guy has been there. But there is no way to combat any of that without first improving yourself. Acquire currency and go get some laser-eye surgery.
Original post by SophieSmall
Some of the **** you come out with is unreal. I feel genuinely sorry for you.
You resort to baseless insults, you cannot logically argue with me?
And i get accused as a troll by a moderator?
Shall i show you the journal articles that show the dateless ness of males with aspegers compared with females with aspergers?
Or will you still resort to baseless insults?
I have just supported your point about looks meaning very little in relationships, and yet you continue to degrade me.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by le_darkhorse
I'm just sick of it all. Spending my life looking at girls, trying to find girls to have sex with and in some occasions having sex. Then realising that it wasn't that amazing because I was drunk and/or I didn't really fancy her.
Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm in my early twenties but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I can't be bothered trying it with a pretty girl who I don't particularly fancy just so I can get in bed with her. I can't be bothered wining and dining her for 3 months when I know that actually she isn't the type of girl deep down that I would wish to be with.
I don't like 'flirting' or games or whatever. Deep down I would love to be in a relationship with a girl I love and just settled with a nice mature girl. But I have never had a relationship and I can't foresee myself having one. There's too much bull**** to get through before things happen.
I'm tired of texting a girl and then for whatever reason it fizzles out. Why can't it be as simple and straightforward as ' do you like me and want to get to know me better? yes or ****ing no? pronto. coffee it is '. Instead you have to spend ages texting them, thinking how to say things carefully so you are not seeming boring or clingy or this or that. ****ing hell.
I'm just sick of it all like I'm sick of going out and getting wasted on the weekend, so boring. I want to remove myself from this type of society alltogether.
Anyone else feel this way?
Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm in my early twenties but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I can't be bothered trying it with a pretty girl who I don't particularly fancy just so I can get in bed with her. I can't be bothered wining and dining her for 3 months when I know that actually she isn't the type of girl deep down that I would wish to be with.
I don't like 'flirting' or games or whatever. Deep down I would love to be in a relationship with a girl I love and just settled with a nice mature girl. But I have never had a relationship and I can't foresee myself having one. There's too much bull**** to get through before things happen.
I'm tired of texting a girl and then for whatever reason it fizzles out. Why can't it be as simple and straightforward as ' do you like me and want to get to know me better? yes or ****ing no? pronto. coffee it is '. Instead you have to spend ages texting them, thinking how to say things carefully so you are not seeming boring or clingy or this or that. ****ing hell.
I'm just sick of it all like I'm sick of going out and getting wasted on the weekend, so boring. I want to remove myself from this type of society alltogether.
Anyone else feel this way?
kinda.
although my issue isn't with the dating process.
its with the fact that i don't think there's anyone worth actually going through that process with.
It is. I would rather go for the easy girls then leave them thus making them clingy, negating my having to make any effort, rendering "the game" boring and not worth pursuing
Original post by le_darkhorse
I'm just sick of it all. Spending my life looking at girls, trying to find girls to have sex with and in some occasions having sex. Then realising that it wasn't that amazing because I was drunk and/or I didn't really fancy her.
Try spending your life having the outset that you're going to have fun. Instead of hunting for a girl. I'm going to suggest here but the problem for you isn't really girls its you as a whole. If you can get over the ego that pretty much every person has then you'll do better. You'll be able to to a bit of analysis on yourself and the world around you and use that to improve yourself.
Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm in my early twenties but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I can't be bothered trying it with a pretty girl who I don't particularly fancy just so I can get in bed with her. I can't be bothered wining and dining her for 3 months when I know that actually she isn't the type of girl deep down that I would wish to be with.
Then why bother with that girl? Move onto the next. Give the girl a chance yeh but know when to cut your losses
I don't like 'flirting' or games or whatever. Deep down I would love to be in a relationship with a girl I love and just settled with a nice mature girl. But I have never had a relationship and I can't foresee myself having one. There's too much bull**** to get through before things happen.
In my opinion this is such a critical part its the bit where you know if you're going to know if you click with the girl. If you go in with your bad attitude it wont go well. Its a self fulfilling prophecy
I'm tired of texting a girl and then for whatever reason it fizzles out. Why can't it be as simple and straightforward as ' do you like me and want to get to know me better? yes or ****ing no? pronto. coffee it is '. Instead you have to spend ages texting them, thinking how to say things carefully so you are not seeming boring or clingy or this or that. ****ing hell.
You know when people say, be yourself. Well to some extent that's true. However what people seem to forget about that is that if you aren't happy and content in yourself and your life it will project. Become a higher value person being content in yourself will follow and this will project
I'm just sick of it all like I'm sick of going out and getting wasted on the weekend, so boring. I want to remove myself from this type of society alltogether.
Why do you drink then? I don't drink and I'm the one whom is out talking to 15-30 people on a night out. I don't care about the outcome. I just have fun doing it and that's all I care about. Why does it have to be nights out where you meet someone? You have to remember something about a night out. The environment is different and the expectations are different. In the day you can be much more mellow and friendly and it will be fine as you are matched to the energy of the environment. But at night, the energy is higher. People are more socially lubricated and they have that "vibe"
Anyone else feel this way?
Try spending your life having the outset that you're going to have fun. Instead of hunting for a girl. I'm going to suggest here but the problem for you isn't really girls its you as a whole. If you can get over the ego that pretty much every person has then you'll do better. You'll be able to to a bit of analysis on yourself and the world around you and use that to improve yourself.
Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm in my early twenties but I can't be bothered with it anymore. I can't be bothered trying it with a pretty girl who I don't particularly fancy just so I can get in bed with her. I can't be bothered wining and dining her for 3 months when I know that actually she isn't the type of girl deep down that I would wish to be with.
Then why bother with that girl? Move onto the next. Give the girl a chance yeh but know when to cut your losses
I don't like 'flirting' or games or whatever. Deep down I would love to be in a relationship with a girl I love and just settled with a nice mature girl. But I have never had a relationship and I can't foresee myself having one. There's too much bull**** to get through before things happen.
In my opinion this is such a critical part its the bit where you know if you're going to know if you click with the girl. If you go in with your bad attitude it wont go well. Its a self fulfilling prophecy
I'm tired of texting a girl and then for whatever reason it fizzles out. Why can't it be as simple and straightforward as ' do you like me and want to get to know me better? yes or ****ing no? pronto. coffee it is '. Instead you have to spend ages texting them, thinking how to say things carefully so you are not seeming boring or clingy or this or that. ****ing hell.
You know when people say, be yourself. Well to some extent that's true. However what people seem to forget about that is that if you aren't happy and content in yourself and your life it will project. Become a higher value person being content in yourself will follow and this will project
I'm just sick of it all like I'm sick of going out and getting wasted on the weekend, so boring. I want to remove myself from this type of society alltogether.
Why do you drink then? I don't drink and I'm the one whom is out talking to 15-30 people on a night out. I don't care about the outcome. I just have fun doing it and that's all I care about. Why does it have to be nights out where you meet someone? You have to remember something about a night out. The environment is different and the expectations are different. In the day you can be much more mellow and friendly and it will be fine as you are matched to the energy of the environment. But at night, the energy is higher. People are more socially lubricated and they have that "vibe"
Anyone else feel this way?
Yea....see above
Oh and rickfloss. Try going into the outside world once in a while and not reading all the tosh egotistical theories you read on the internet.
(edited 9 years ago)
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