Going to an all boys schools has caused relationship problems with women
This is something which has been bugging me for a while. I feel like it messed me up in terms of having a relationship with a woman. From the ages of 11-16 I barely spoke to a girl my age. There are other factors at play here such as coming from a family with only brothers and my hobbies being mainly masculine such as Sunday football and watching football and my mum being terrified of letting me out of the house at those ages in case something 'bad' happened.
So basically I did not have a chance to mix with girls, the result of this is that I am poor socially with women. I find it difficult to connect. Due to my lack of exposure to women at a young age I frequently watched porn to fill the void, 3 or 4 times a day. The result of this is very bad. The only joy I get from women is sex, because I was never able to get joy from conversations etc or just having a normal friendly relationship because I feel like I was prevented from having this. I have tried hard to change this but its as if my brain has been wired to feel this way. Maybe I'm over thinking, maybe I haven't met the right women but I feel as if going to an all boys school is not healthy
So basically I did not have a chance to mix with girls, the result of this is that I am poor socially with women. I find it difficult to connect. Due to my lack of exposure to women at a young age I frequently watched porn to fill the void, 3 or 4 times a day. The result of this is very bad. The only joy I get from women is sex, because I was never able to get joy from conversations etc or just having a normal friendly relationship because I feel like I was prevented from having this. I have tried hard to change this but its as if my brain has been wired to feel this way. Maybe I'm over thinking, maybe I haven't met the right women but I feel as if going to an all boys school is not healthy
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this is exactly why I would never send my son to a all boys school, to keep somebody seperate from half the population during such important developmental years of their life just isn't right imo
(edited 9 years ago)
So so sad. Women can be great people to talk to and they offer something new from the guy mates.
At uni you'll have plenty of opportunity to talk to many women. Just talk to them as if they're guys, seriously this is what I do with my very good female friends.
At uni you'll have plenty of opportunity to talk to many women. Just talk to them as if they're guys, seriously this is what I do with my very good female friends.
You'll learn with experience OP, don't worry.
Original post by inachigeek21
You'll learn with experience OP, don't worry.
Hopefully, but i feel as if I have no connection with women emotionally apart from lust. It angers me so much that I often lash out and launch full on punches against the brick walls in my room. Maybe i should see a therapist or maybe i should just persist a bit longer and the right woman will come. All I want is a female companion who can be my friend.
Original post by marcelinhodalua
Hopefully, but i feel as if I have no connection with women emotionally apart from lust. It angers me so much that I often lash out and launch full on punches against the brick walls in my room. Maybe i should see a therapist or maybe i should just persist a bit longer and the right woman will come. All I want is a female companion who can be my friend.
By the sounds of it, probably. It wouldn't hurt to try.
Went to a boy secondary school. At 6th form I avoided girls at all cost due to my social inexperience, served me well as I got pretty good grades. 
University.. well.. given I still have a TSR account and I'm logged in at 10pm, it's anyones guess.
Then again, unless there's a girl I like I don't think I'd bother. Much more important things to worry about this stage in life.
University.. well.. given I still have a TSR account and I'm logged in at 10pm, it's anyones guess.
Then again, unless there's a girl I like I don't think I'd bother. Much more important things to worry about this stage in life.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by marcelinhodalua
This is something which has been bugging me for a while. I feel like it messed me up in terms of having a relationship with a woman. From the ages of 11-16 I barely spoke to a girl my age. There are other factors at play here such as coming from a family with only brothers and my hobbies being mainly masculine such as Sunday football and watching football and my mum being terrified of letting me out of the house at those ages in case something 'bad' happened.
So basically I did not have a chance to mix with girls, the result of this is that I am poor socially with women. I find it difficult to connect. Due to my lack of exposure to women at a young age I frequently watched porn to fill the void, 3 or 4 times a day. The result of this is very bad. The only joy I get from women is sex, because I was never able to get joy from conversations etc or just having a normal friendly relationship because I feel like I was prevented from having this. I have tried hard to change this but its as if my brain has been wired to feel this way. Maybe I'm over thinking, maybe I haven't met the right women but I feel as if going to an all boys school is not healthy
So basically I did not have a chance to mix with girls, the result of this is that I am poor socially with women. I find it difficult to connect. Due to my lack of exposure to women at a young age I frequently watched porn to fill the void, 3 or 4 times a day. The result of this is very bad. The only joy I get from women is sex, because I was never able to get joy from conversations etc or just having a normal friendly relationship because I feel like I was prevented from having this. I have tried hard to change this but its as if my brain has been wired to feel this way. Maybe I'm over thinking, maybe I haven't met the right women but I feel as if going to an all boys school is not healthy
You don't need therapy, you just need to stop thinking of them as a separate species. Talk to them as though they're guys, and with enough exposure you'll lose your feeling of awkwardness.
I know what you mean. I went to an all boys' school until the sixth form, which was from that point mixed. I personally think this schooling method is hugely out of date and should be banned. I can honestly say that I very quickly caught up with women by the time I left for uni. Generally I find the key to everything, including; friendship, relationships and controversially even one night stands is down to one thing...respect. Basically, don't be a dick and don't treat anyone in a way which you wouldn't want to be...unless you're a masochist.
As for making friends with women, it's the same as making friends with men. It's down to the right people in the right places. There is no one size fits all way to become friends with women in particular. The best thing to do is just get out there and do what you want to do, and people will come and go. Hope that helps you out bud.
As for making friends with women, it's the same as making friends with men. It's down to the right people in the right places. There is no one size fits all way to become friends with women in particular. The best thing to do is just get out there and do what you want to do, and people will come and go. Hope that helps you out bud.
Original post by Anonynous
Went to a boy secondary school. At 6th form I avoided girls at all cost due to my social inexperience, served me well as I got pretty good grades.
University.. well.. given I still have a TSR account and I'm logged in at 10pm, it's anyones guess.
Then again, unless there's a girl I like I don't think I'd bother. Much more important things to worry about this stage in life.
University.. well.. given I still have a TSR account and I'm logged in at 10pm, it's anyones guess.
Then again, unless there's a girl I like I don't think I'd bother. Much more important things to worry about this stage in life.
But are grades the be all and end all? I was led to believe that if you did bad at school you were a failure and always would be one, but as i have got older i challenge this. For me the most important thing is happiness, I really don't give a damn about how much I earn in life as if I'm happy.Happiness for me isn't money its healthy relationships.
Anyway surely good grades can still be achieved even with the opposite sex in the environment. I think this whole pupils do better in same sex school environment is a load of rubbish. I went to an all boys school in inner london and a good chunk had to retake year 11
I don't think going to an all-boys school automatically causes this kind of social awkwardness.
Nonetheless, OP I feel for you - though as someone already said unless there's a girl you like atm you probably don't need to worry about it.
Nonetheless, OP I feel for you - though as someone already said unless there's a girl you like atm you probably don't need to worry about it.
I kind of disagree with people who say it's not important - that's just the same attitude that says women aren't worthwhile as friends or companions. I think it's important to be able to forge non-sexual relationships with women. And OP, I think it's a good thing that this matters to you.
The violence that you mention (punching walls etc) is a little concerning, so maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone about dealing with frustration. But otherwise I think the advice others have given is sound - women are just human beings and you should treat them with respect but not that differently from how you treat men.
The violence that you mention (punching walls etc) is a little concerning, so maybe it would be a good idea to talk to someone about dealing with frustration. But otherwise I think the advice others have given is sound - women are just human beings and you should treat them with respect but not that differently from how you treat men.
Mate they're just girls. Like guys but without the hoohoo. So treat them like your guy friends. Or how you'd want someone to treat your mum or sister (maybe not that close ) but you know like a human being.
Perhaps talking to someone will help you or even just trying to interact daily. Like when shopping ask the female shop assistant a question etc. There are females everywhere!!!
Perhaps talking to someone will help you or even just trying to interact daily. Like when shopping ask the female shop assistant a question etc. There are females everywhere!!!
Girls are just, like, people... Some have "masculine" interests too, so even if you're the stereotypical alpha male interested in cars and football, you will sure meet some girls that will share your interests! I'm a girl and I'm into gaming and football and I still have girlfriends I can talk to while my best guy friend hates the two mentioned things but likes Avril Lavigne and playing the piano 
And he still has a lot of guy friends too... So don't think your interests put you in a lost position, you don't have to love fashion and make up to be friends with women! Just go out more and talk to people trying not to notice their gender 
And he still has a lot of guy friends too... So don't think your interests put you in a lost position, you don't have to love fashion and make up to be friends with women! Just go out more and talk to people trying not to notice their gender Original post by anonymouspie227
Mate they're just girls. Like guys but without the hoohoo. So treat them like your guy friends. Or how you'd want someone to treat your mum or sister (maybe not that close ) but you know like a human being.
Perhaps talking to someone will help you or even just trying to interact daily. Like when shopping ask the female shop assistant a question etc. There are females everywhere!!!
Perhaps talking to someone will help you or even just trying to interact daily. Like when shopping ask the female shop assistant a question etc. There are females everywhere!!!
There are girls and then there are hot girls. I think the OP and the rest of the male population (myself included) aspire for these 9+/10s.
OP only money can get you the really hot girls.
I am pretty similar. I went to a boys school till sixth form and had some trouble talking to girls in my sixth form, but it got slightly better towards the end of upper sixth. I am still not thaaaat comfortable with them though, but I am sure it will come to me at some point, I hope so anyway.
Original post by Greg Jackson
this is exactly why I would never send my son to a all boys school, to keep somebody seperate from half the population during such important developmental years of their life just isn't right imo
I often think about that part. What benefit is there to be gained from it? There is no logic to it other than the catholic church (in most cases) says that is the way it should be, *face palm*. Religious schools should be banned IMO, secular the way forward.
I went to an all boys school - people outside the school thought most of us were gay. With my sixth form class form they were actually unintentionally correct. There were 2 guys who dated in my form whilst we were in year 13, one guy came out when we were in year 9 - and I actually think it was hardest for him, not just because of his age, but I know he is of a slightly different cultural background to the majority. There were 1 or 2 others who were gay as well but they didn't date. I didn't actually realise I was at least bi until my first year of uni, as I had only dated girls while I was at school. I've not dated guys, BUT I am an open book; gender doesnt really become a main factor for me - I am not pan however, despite what I just said.
I went to youth clubs so I was still associating with girls at least twice to three times a week. The majority of my best friends are female, although I am close to a few males as well.
Why not have some alcohol if you're a) of age and b) really nervous about it, so you can pick up the courage to talk to girls? I know it works for some people. I'm usually confident enough without it but I know its a great assistant for many people.
I went to youth clubs so I was still associating with girls at least twice to three times a week. The majority of my best friends are female, although I am close to a few males as well.
Why not have some alcohol if you're a) of age and b) really nervous about it, so you can pick up the courage to talk to girls? I know it works for some people. I'm usually confident enough without it but I know its a great assistant for many people.
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