My dad doesn't like me going out at night, my mum wants me back before 12am?

Is this fair enough just wondering? I'm a guy, 23, parents are Asian...

It can be argued both ways, people could argue that you're living in their house and should obey their rules. But then it can be argued that you're an adult and they should respect your right to freedom to choose what you do with your time. I'd talk with them and see why they feel the need to control what you're doing when you are an adult.

Reply 2

CeeDixon

7

Original post by Multitalented me

Is this fair enough just wondering? I'm a guy, 23, parents are Asian...

The first time I went out, I had to be home by 2am (which was pretty good for a first night out). However, once I'd gained their trust and they realised that I was well behaved and I was safe, they don't really mind what time I get home at now. Just so long as I actually come home! Sometimes I'll stay over at a friend's house so not to bother them when I roll in at 4:30am, but I am always honest about this and I will always go back to my friend's!

Have a chat with them, see whether you can negotiate a plan with them. Do you have friends that stay out later than you? Are these friends trustworthy to make sure you get home safe at a later time? See it from their point of view too, they're only trying to keep you safe, so you gain their trust and see whether anything improves! Hope I've helped a bit :smile:

Reply 3

Dr Pesto

19

No it isn't fair enough. You're 23, they shouldn't still be setting rules about when you should be home.

Reply 4

SiminaM

15

At 23? When do they expect you to be an adult?

Reply 5

username927016

OP

20

Original post by CeeDixon

The first time I went out, I had to be home by 2am (which was pretty good for a first night out). However, once I'd gained their trust and they realised that I was well behaved and I was safe, they don't really mind what time I get home at now. Just so long as I actually come home! Sometimes I'll stay over at a friend's house so not to bother them when I roll in at 4:30am, but I am always honest about this and I will always go back to my friend's!

Have a chat with them, see whether you can negotiate a plan with them. Do you have friends that stay out later than you? Are these friends trustworthy to make sure you get home safe at a later time? See it from their point of view too, they're only trying to keep you safe, so you gain their trust and see whether anything improves! Hope I've helped a bit :smile:

Atm it isn't that much of a problem although I do want to try clubbing. My parents really don't like western culture and them being religious just makes my situation worse. I could see if they let me stay over at friends house as they let my younger sister sometimes although she was always more outgoing while I'm slowly becoming more outgoing so it will come as more of a surprise to them. I might have to devise some plans which involve a bit of "white lying" tbh...

Reply 6

Aceofhearts96

Original post by Multitalented me

Atm it isn't that much of a problem although I do want to try clubbing. My parents really don't like western culture and them being religious just makes my situation worse. I could see if they let me stay over at friends house as they let my younger sister sometimes although she was always more outgoing while I'm slowly becoming more outgoing so it will come as more of a surprise to them. I might have to devise some plans which involve a bit of "white lying" tbh...

Im not being racist but why move to "the west" and dislike the culture? why not stay where you were before?

Reply 7

username927016

OP

20

Original post by Aceofhearts96

Im not being racist but why move to "the west" and dislike the culture? why not stay where you were before?

Basically for a better quality of life.

Reply 8

Aceofhearts96

If i moved to a different part of the world i would embrace the culture just my opinion though

Reply 9

Sollom

2

Some parents are just annoying, senseless and mother****ers.

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Reply 10

Le Nombre

16

23?! Christ.

Stay out and see what they do, all they've got on you is kicking you out and this isn't likely to incite that. And move asap, that sounds grim.

Reply 11

Crystalz

17

I'm nearly 18, I started wanted to go out late at the age of 15. Obviously the answer was no. Tbh from 16 onwards I'd just go against my parents wishes and slowly they just got over it. Now I can just go?
sounds kind of disrespectful but sometimes parents can be irrational. I'd say just go. If you've got keys it should be fine

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 12

scrawlx101

20

mate your 23...do what you want...

Reply 13

Tabstercat

14

must be pretty embarrassing to be 23 years old and still be controlled by your parents. can't you move out?

Reply 14

Pipsico

14

OP, you're clearly dealing with parents who are fixed in their ways and have very strong opinions on western culture.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to keep the peace whilst you're under their roof, and then save up and move out when you can.

Out of sight, out of mind. When I moved back from uni, at 23, my parents pulled the same thing on me. Didn't like it if I would be out past 10!

Asian parents are extremely strict, and some can be educated and have compromises made. If I was going to a friend's late, I would always make sure to call my parents at a certain time to let them check in on me. And tell then when I'd be leaving and how. Things like that.. Compromise and slowly introducing the idea in a safe, controlled way. You can't expect 100% straight away.

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