I was sexually harassed outside of a McDonalds.
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Original post by Mankytoes
I know you''re getting upset that people aren't taking this seriously, but you still haven't said anything that indicates they had committed a crime. It sounds like you feared they might be about to commit a crime, but that this didn't actually commit one.
I was sexually harrassed outside a Mcdonalds once, funny enough. A girl who I'd say was about thirteen (I was at university) shouted that she wanted to suck my dick (in exchange for my Big Mac?). I just put my head down and kept walking, hoping no random ******** decided I was noncing on kids and gave me a kicking.
I was sexually harrassed outside a Mcdonalds once, funny enough. A girl who I'd say was about thirteen (I was at university) shouted that she wanted to suck my dick (in exchange for my Big Mac?). I just put my head down and kept walking, hoping no random ******** decided I was noncing on kids and gave me a kicking.
I'm did not create this thread to debate the legitimacy of the crime or to ask your take on it, I simply asked whether reporting my experience to police would yield in the male thugs being reprimanded for their actions.
Persistent sexual advances and verbal abuse both are sexual harassment in the eyes of the law. This is a fact, you can google this. A crime has been committed on my person. It's not surprise that another male poster is attempting to downplay my unfortunate endeavour but there you have it men think sexual harassment is only a crime when it's physical i.e. when someone gets raped... Even then you'll be victim blaming and asking me what I was wearing and if I led them on. A girl can't win can she?
Original post by Daenerys...
I'm did not create this thread to debate the legitimacy of the crime or to ask your take on it, I simply asked whether reporting my experience to police would yield in the male thugs being reprimanded for their actions.
Persistent sexual advances and verbal abuse both are sexual harassment in the eyes of the law. This is a fact, you can google this. A crime has been committed on my person. It's not surprise that another male poster is attempting to downplay my unfortunate endeavour but there you have it men think sexual harassment is only a crime when it's physical i.e. when someone gets raped... Even then you'll be victim blaming and asking me what I was wearing and if I led them on. A girl can't win can she?
Persistent sexual advances and verbal abuse both are sexual harassment in the eyes of the law. This is a fact, you can google this. A crime has been committed on my person. It's not surprise that another male poster is attempting to downplay my unfortunate endeavour but there you have it men think sexual harassment is only a crime when it's physical i.e. when someone gets raped... Even then you'll be victim blaming and asking me what I was wearing and if I led them on. A girl can't win can she?
It would help if you actually cared to quote and reference what law you are actually speaking about which backs you up. This sounds like you are speaking about the employment harassment law this would not apply to guests of a private restaurant which you were on this occasion a guest not an employee.
Truth is I doubt you even know which law would back you up and repeating yourself like the mother of dragons will not help.
I will help you out though this is the only legal law I have found that could back you up if the police were even bothered and could actually find the culprit.
The Law in question comes under the public order act 1986 and it is section 4A & 5.
A few quotes from the wikipedia page for you below.
This is section 4A below
The offence is created by section 4A of the Public Order Act 1986, which was inserted by section 154 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994:
“
(1) A person is guilty of an offence if, with intent to cause a person harassment, alarm or distress, he:
(a) uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or
(b) displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting
thereby causing that or another person harassment, alarm or distress.
(2) An offence under this section may be committed in a public or a private place, except that no offence is committed where the words or behaviour are used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation is displayed, by a person inside a dwelling and the person who is harassed, alarmed or distressed is also inside that or another dwelling.
(3) It is a defence for the accused to prove:
(a) that he was inside a dwelling and had no reason to believe that the words or behaviour used, or the writing, sign or other visible representation displayed, would be heard or seen by a person outside that or any other dwelling, or
(b) that his conduct was reasonable.
links to section 4a and 5 below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intentional_harassment,_alarm_or_distress
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassment,_alarm_or_distress
Please update us on how you will choose to act, by the way you actually never told us what these awful words they used were only about them asking you if you have a boyfriend, which in itself is not offensive.
Some people may accuse you of suffering from princess syndrome. Good luck on catching these awful man no one should be harassed. Note these laws don't mention anything about sexual harassment, just harassment the word sexual is never even mentioned. Note what's important about that law I mentioned is the offence can occur in a public or private place which is why it would apply to your situation.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Daenerys...
I'm did not create this thread to debate the legitimacy of the crime or to ask your take on it, I simply asked whether reporting my experience to police would yield in the male thugs being reprimanded for their actions.
Persistent sexual advances and verbal abuse both are sexual harassment in the eyes of the law. This is a fact, you can google this. A crime has been committed on my person. It's not surprise that another male poster is attempting to downplay my unfortunate endeavour but there you have it men think sexual harassment is only a crime when it's physical i.e. when someone gets raped... Even then you'll be victim blaming and asking me what I was wearing and if I led them on. A girl can't win can she?
Persistent sexual advances and verbal abuse both are sexual harassment in the eyes of the law. This is a fact, you can google this. A crime has been committed on my person. It's not surprise that another male poster is attempting to downplay my unfortunate endeavour but there you have it men think sexual harassment is only a crime when it's physical i.e. when someone gets raped... Even then you'll be victim blaming and asking me what I was wearing and if I led them on. A girl can't win can she?
Well I'm saying they wouldn't be, not from what you've said, you haven't spelt out in detail what they said. You've seemed annoyed to be told that.
You didn't say they were doing those things though. Why did you ask, when you clearly don't want to hear anyone elses opinion? I'm not saying it wasn't a horrible thing to happen to you, but it wasn't a crime. It's nothing to do with my gender either. I didn't say it was only a crime if physical, if you can spell out they said something overtly sexual, that's harrassment, that's why I mentioned what happened to me. I've always stood up against slut shaming, so stop making sexist assumptions and attacking men who actually defend women (and yes, I've stood up to guys for this sort of behaviour, once I got in an altercation with a random guy on the street for shouting "nice tits" to a female friend. Then she got huffy with me for making a scene... so it isn't just girls who sometimes feel they can't win).
Note you also ignored my own story about sexual harassment, or is it not a big deal when it's girls doing it to men?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Daenerys...
This happened earlier today at around 7. The drive thru was busy as you can imagine since it's Friday so I parked the car and thought it'd be quicker to walk in and order from inside. Unfortunately this was not the case as there was a long queue inside. I decided my only option was to join the line of agitated people and wait to be called upon.
No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.
When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.
Is this a good idea?
No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.
When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.
Is this a good idea?
Maybe you overreacted a tiny bit? Only because if they were drunk and a girl is standing in front of them what do you really expect. I know you should be able to wait in a queue without being harassed but it doesn't seem to be the way these days.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Troll thread. Are you serious, sexual harassment implies something totally different to what you say actually happened. (And you damn well know this.) Getting heckled is not nice for anyone, that's a given, but s**t happens. You're presumably an adult so grow up a little and deal with it not running off crying on some forum about how the male scumbags raped you with their eyes.
Absolutely lol'd.
Original post by Daenerys...
This is not a debate thread. Please leave your male agenda at the door.
This is not a debate thread. Please leave your male agenda at the door.
Absolutely lol'd.
Original post by Daenerys...
hilarious. I hope you can be this witty about sexual harassment when it happens to your mum/sister/gf.
Btw, if it hurt you can go on and complain. People here that say she is over reacting are not realising the seriousness of the situation.
Never know, this complain might make a difference in the wider spectrum. You have the right to do it.
If you don't complain those guys will keep doing this to other girls.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Daenerys...
This happened earlier today at around 7. The drive thru was busy as you can imagine since it's Friday so I parked the car and thought it'd be quicker to walk in and order from inside. Unfortunately this was not the case as there was a long queue inside. I decided my only option was to join the line of agitated people and wait to be called upon.
No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.
When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.
Is this a good idea?
No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.
When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.
Is this a good idea?
i cnt belief u were so strong in front of all dat male oppreshun!
u were nrly verbally raped, u should report tht 2 the police ASAP!!1one
u go gurl! lets smash the partiarchy together!
p.s i no it says im a male - but i actually identify as a female Boeing AH-64 Apache Helicopter - just a wrning tho, heat signitures nd quick movemnts are vry triggering for me so plz be carful abut how u respnd. if you dnt im afraid that maks u a heliphobe.
check ur vehicle privilege at the door.
how unpleasant, Its like pack behavior. ultimately it is intimidating behavior that can cause distress hence OP having to leave the building. I don't think the police would take it seriously as it is so common, and i think some men can get away with it as 'banter', the police force is still male dominated also. Although it must be worth a try to let them know how you were frightened. they'll just keep getting away with intimidating women. They pick on lone targets and the victims are too scared to report. I suppose it would have been very intimidating for the employee to ask that group of men to leave also. What if they had kicked off and start smashing the place.
Original post by SuperWolfPaws
how unpleasant, Its like pack behavior. ultimately it is intimidating behavior that can cause distress hence OP having to leave the building. I don't think the police would take it seriously as it is so common, and i think some men can get away with it as 'banter', the police force is still male dominated also. Although it must be worth a try to let them know how you were frightened. they'll just keep getting away with intimidating women. They pick on lone targets and the victims are too scared to report. I suppose it would have been very intimidating for the employee to ask that group of men to leave also. What if they had kicked off and start smashing the place.
It is deeply unpleasant, even traumatic potentially, but that doesn't mean it's a crime. The police are there to enforce the law, not to judge on whether people are being dicks or whatever.
Something not being a crime doesn't mean it's not a big deal. Say someone on here said they came home to find their husband banging another women on the sofa, he then laughed in her face about it- clearly she deserves a lot of sympathy and something terrible has happened, but if she says "should I go to the police", the answer is no.
There's other action you could take, like writing to/tweeting McDonalds, saying the incident made her uncomfortable, maybe they could have a security guard there for late nights? Just because it isn't a police matter, that doesn't mean it's not a serious incident.
Original post by Mankytoes
It is deeply unpleasant, even traumatic potentially, but that doesn't mean it's a crime. The police are there to enforce the law, not to judge on whether people are being dicks or whatever.
Something not being a crime doesn't mean it's not a big deal. Say someone on here said they came home to find their husband banging another women on the sofa, he then laughed in her face about it- clearly she deserves a lot of sympathy and something terrible has happened, but if she says "should I go to the police", the answer is no.
There's other action you could take, like writing to/tweeting McDonalds, saying the incident made her uncomfortable, maybe they could have a security guard there for late nights? Just because it isn't a police matter, that doesn't mean it's not a serious incident.
Something not being a crime doesn't mean it's not a big deal. Say someone on here said they came home to find their husband banging another women on the sofa, he then laughed in her face about it- clearly she deserves a lot of sympathy and something terrible has happened, but if she says "should I go to the police", the answer is no.
There's other action you could take, like writing to/tweeting McDonalds, saying the incident made her uncomfortable, maybe they could have a security guard there for late nights? Just because it isn't a police matter, that doesn't mean it's not a serious incident.
i m not thinking they should be arrested. But it would be helpful to the community if OP lets the police know how badly she felt intimidated by them. The point here is feeling sexual aggression though close contact and verbal intimidation. Your example of a cheating husband laughing at his partner is humiliation, which is nasty, but does not pose a threat to bodily harm.
Let's be honest OP. If every case of sexual harassment such as yours was taken further and the perpetrators punished, we'd need a far larger police force and more serious crimes will not be properly investigated.
This is the kind of crime that you just have to grin and bear and deal with. I'd rather they focused on prosecuting rapists which they still aren't able to do properly.
This is the kind of crime that you just have to grin and bear and deal with. I'd rather they focused on prosecuting rapists which they still aren't able to do properly.
Im sorry you had this experience.
I was sexually harassed on my university campus - all of it was caught on CCTV - though in my case it was a man being sexually explicit and then pinning me to a bus window groping me whilst i struggled to break free.
It doesnt matter how big or small you think the incident is - if it made you feel uncomfortable then its not acceptable behaviour on their part.
x
I was sexually harassed on my university campus - all of it was caught on CCTV - though in my case it was a man being sexually explicit and then pinning me to a bus window groping me whilst i struggled to break free.
It doesnt matter how big or small you think the incident is - if it made you feel uncomfortable then its not acceptable behaviour on their part.
x
Original post by Daenerys...
This happened earlier today at around 7. The drive thru was busy as you can imagine since it's Friday so I parked the car and thought it'd be quicker to walk in and order from inside. Unfortunately this was not the case as there was a long queue inside. I decided my only option was to join the line of agitated people and wait to be called upon.
No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.
When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.
Is this a good idea?
No more than 2 mins in the line a group of 19-25 year old men were making crude comments about my appearance and asking me if I had a boyfriend. I ignored them but they got rowdy they were probably drinking there's a pub next door. I decided to leave the queue and walk up to a member of staff, a man, and informed him of the persistent comments and the sexual harassment I experienced he told me that there was nothing they could do apart from take a note of my order and they bring it over to my car. I was shocked and frustrated so I left the place still hungry and drove off.
When I got home I told my mum and she said I could report the guys by going to the local police station and making the mcdonalds provide the cctv.
Is this a good idea?
It isn't the duty of every man to put himself against a bunch of drunk guys. The compromise of sending the food to your car is probbaly what I would have done, meaning you wouldn't have to stand around the knobs leering at you whilst you waited for your order.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Let's be honest OP. If every case of sexual harassment such as yours was taken further and the perpetrators punished, we'd need a far larger police force and more serious crimes will not be properly investigated.
This is the kind of crime that you just have to grin and bear and deal with. I'd rather they focused on prosecuting rapists which they still aren't able to do properly.
This is the kind of crime that you just have to grin and bear and deal with. I'd rather they focused on prosecuting rapists which they still aren't able to do properly.
maybe they can try and get to the root cause of sexual assault by investigating and researching this type of behavior. Women putting up a silence on this behavior helps nobody. I don't think they would put a case like this in front of an actual rape!
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
Let's be honest OP. If every case of sexual harassment such as yours was taken further and the perpetrators punished, we'd need a far larger police force and more serious crimes will not be properly investigated.
This is the kind of crime that you just have to grin and bear and deal with. I'd rather they focused on prosecuting rapists which they still aren't able to do properly.
This is the kind of crime that you just have to grin and bear and deal with. I'd rather they focused on prosecuting rapists which they still aren't able to do properly.
Have you even been watching the news lately. Does Rolf Harris ring a bell? Convicting alleged rapists is not about pleasing feminists, it's about good non biased police work.
You can report it but I would be extremely surprised if anything actually happens. I really doubt that the police will bother to chase it up and if they do I doubt they'll find much to press charges. There is a non-emergency number you can use to report things.
There's a lot of stuff that happens in our society that shouldn't happen and it's totally wrong, but unfortunately, for whatever reason it's not taken seriously and no one wants to deal with it. I had a man approach me at a bus stop late at night on my own (with no one else at the bus stop and no nearby shops) and he said some really inappropriate/creep/scary things to me and about my appearance and that he wanted to kiss me - he literally leered at me and got in my personal space. He showed me a tag attached to his ankle, saying he was not long out of prison and I just basically tried to ignore him and moved away but he kept talking and moving towards me. I thought I was in luck when the bus arrived but apparently I had the wrong type of ticket and I had no change on me - I told the bus driver that I was being harassed and he told me I needed to pay or get off. I had to get off the bus and the man was still there. I felt really unsafe so I started walking and I ended up walking half way home on my own at night because of that. I reported the incident to the bus company and they wouldn't take responsibility and the police said they had nothing to go on.
So although people like to say 'oh get over it etc' - unless you've actually experienced it, STFU because it's not pleasant at all and it can be terrifying as female when you're on your own and a man starts saying things to you. I'm really not surprised that the OP walked away considering there was a group of men.Plus these men start thinking they can get away with it and then they might start doing it on their own and not with a group. Remember that you're no safer in a crowd than I was on my own - people ignore things because they don't want to get involved (bystander effect, I think it's called) so if you feel unsafe just leave.
Basically, you did the right thing walking away OP. I'd report it to McDonald's and to the Police but don't be surprised if nothing gets done - it shouldn't be allowed to happen and it's totally wrong but the authorities just don't give a **** unfortunately. I just don't go to places that make me feel uncomfortable on my own anymore. If I have to be somewhere alone at night I let people know when I'll be back etc and I always take spare change now and if I walk into a place and don't like the vibe I walk straight out, IDGAF what people think of me now - if someone makes me uncomfortable in any situation I spin of my heel and get out of there and immediately call someone just to talk about the weather - whatever - just so someone knows where I am etc.
There's a lot of stuff that happens in our society that shouldn't happen and it's totally wrong, but unfortunately, for whatever reason it's not taken seriously and no one wants to deal with it. I had a man approach me at a bus stop late at night on my own (with no one else at the bus stop and no nearby shops) and he said some really inappropriate/creep/scary things to me and about my appearance and that he wanted to kiss me - he literally leered at me and got in my personal space. He showed me a tag attached to his ankle, saying he was not long out of prison and I just basically tried to ignore him and moved away but he kept talking and moving towards me. I thought I was in luck when the bus arrived but apparently I had the wrong type of ticket and I had no change on me - I told the bus driver that I was being harassed and he told me I needed to pay or get off. I had to get off the bus and the man was still there. I felt really unsafe so I started walking and I ended up walking half way home on my own at night because of that. I reported the incident to the bus company and they wouldn't take responsibility and the police said they had nothing to go on.
So although people like to say 'oh get over it etc' - unless you've actually experienced it, STFU because it's not pleasant at all and it can be terrifying as female when you're on your own and a man starts saying things to you. I'm really not surprised that the OP walked away considering there was a group of men.Plus these men start thinking they can get away with it and then they might start doing it on their own and not with a group. Remember that you're no safer in a crowd than I was on my own - people ignore things because they don't want to get involved (bystander effect, I think it's called) so if you feel unsafe just leave.
Basically, you did the right thing walking away OP. I'd report it to McDonald's and to the Police but don't be surprised if nothing gets done - it shouldn't be allowed to happen and it's totally wrong but the authorities just don't give a **** unfortunately. I just don't go to places that make me feel uncomfortable on my own anymore. If I have to be somewhere alone at night I let people know when I'll be back etc and I always take spare change now and if I walk into a place and don't like the vibe I walk straight out, IDGAF what people think of me now - if someone makes me uncomfortable in any situation I spin of my heel and get out of there and immediately call someone just to talk about the weather - whatever - just so someone knows where I am etc.
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
It isn't the duty of every man to put himself against a bunch of drunk guys. The compromise of sending the food to your car is probbaly what I would have done, meaning you wouldn't have to stand around the knobs leering at you whilst you waited for your order.
After questioning why she expects men who she does not know basically strangers to play unpaid security guards, putting themselves at risk. You should also question why in this extremely feminist society Daenerys never brought up the women who may also have been at this McDonalds to defend her. No for her it's men who are bad because apparently it's men's duty to protect every women from such incidents.
Original post by SuperWolfPaws
i m not thinking they should be arrested. But it would be helpful to the community if OP lets the police know how badly she felt intimidated by them. The point here is feeling sexual aggression though close contact and verbal intimidation. Your example of a cheating husband laughing at his partner is humiliation, which is nasty, but does not pose a threat to bodily harm.
I don't really know what you expect them to do though?
The thing is, legally, she may feel intimidated, but an offense is judged objectively. She may have felt a threat to bodily harm, but unless that was explicitly made, they haven't threatened her.
Guys get a similar thing, but with physical threats rather than sexual ("what are looking at?" "you looking at my girlfriend?" etc), so I do know what you mean, but it's a bit of a damned if you do situation, because the only way to have an actual legal complaint is to stay in the dangerous situation- not the sensible course of action.
Original post by SuperWolfPaws
maybe they can try and get to the root cause of sexual assault by investigating and researching this type of behavior. Women putting up a silence on this behavior helps nobody. I don't think they would put a case like this in front of an actual rape!
Lol let's be realistic here. There is not enough resources to convict every single case of "He looked me up and down!" "He groped me!" "He had the audacity to ask me if I had a boyfriend" and "He yelled out 'hey babe!'"
It will ultimately be wasting police time. The police officer looking into this sexual harassment could be doing something more useful like investigating a rape or sexual assault.
Original post by Mancini
Have you even been watching the news lately. Does Rolf Harris ring a bell? Convicting alleged rapists is not about pleasing feminists, it's about good non biased police work.
Don't know what rape and rolf Harris has to do with the harassment in the OP. I clearly said that the police should focus more on convicting rapists.
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