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I left my husband and have now asked him to take me back

I am a gay man married to my childhood sweetheart. My best friend from school age. When he came out at 16 we started dating. I had always been openly gay. I had always believed he was straight so hadn't ever considered a relationship previously but the love developed.

After 3 years we moved in together and married last year, although we have been together for 13 years now.


2 months ago I left him. I had only ever dated him or even kissed him so maybe I wanted to experience things with other people.

He was absolutely devastated at first and begged me to reconsider but my mind was made up. I moved to our second home (we have a property portfolio we rent out) 150 miles away.

Anyway, I never even ended up kissing anyone else as I felt too guilty. After just 2 months I realised what an absolute idiot I had been and ran back home. I had regretted leaving the day after I did.
I really don't know what possessed me to leave in the first place. Being married scared me a little, I felt I'd missed out by only having dated one person but it still doesn't explain it.

When I told him in person that I was sorry and an idiot he just laughed and laughed. Thought it was hilarious and informed me that he knew I would come back but wondered how long it would take as I'm stubborn at times and don't like to be wrong.

However, I feel so confused. I know I made the right choice to come back. I will never leave him again. But I don't understand why he isn't kicking up a fuss, angry with me or even ignoring me.

He's seems to find the whole thing rather funny and just keeps being really sweet and saying he knew I would return. He's currently having a good old laugh about it with his mum downstairs.

I don't want him to hate me. But I'm wondering if anyone can advise on why he is reacting this way and doesn't hate me like he should. I've been such a fool.
Original post by Anonymous
I am a gay man married to my childhood sweetheart. My best friend from school age. When he came out at 16 we started dating. I had always been openly gay. I had always believed he was straight so hadn't ever considered a relationship previously but the love developed.

After 3 years we moved in together and married last year, although we have been together for 13 years now.


2 months ago I left him. I had only ever dated him or even kissed him so maybe I wanted to experience things with other people.

He was absolutely devastated at first and begged me to reconsider but my mind was made up. I moved to our second home (we have a property portfolio we rent out) 150 miles away.

Anyway, I never even ended up kissing anyone else as I felt too guilty. After just 2 months I realised what an absolute idiot I had been and ran back home. I had regretted leaving the day after I did.
I really don't know what possessed me to leave in the first place. Being married scared me a little, I felt I'd missed out by only having dated one person but it still doesn't explain it.

When I told him in person that I was sorry and an idiot he just laughed and laughed. Thought it was hilarious and informed me that he knew I would come back but wondered how long it would take as I'm stubborn at times and don't like to be wrong.

However, I feel so confused. I know I made the right choice to come back. I will never leave him again. But I don't understand why he isn't kicking up a fuss, angry with me or even ignoring me.

He's seems to find the whole thing rather funny and just keeps being really sweet and saying he knew I would return. He's currently having a good old laugh about it with his mum downstairs.

I don't want him to hate me. But I'm wondering if anyone can advise on why he is reacting this way and doesn't hate me like he should. I've been such a fool.


Did you tell him why you left? Were things difficult right before you left?
He probably shouldn't laugh but as he's been your best friend since you were very young and you've been together for so long, his response may just be because he knows how much you do love him deep down. He probably knows you better than anyone and can read you better than anyone.

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Reply 2
Original post by Moonstruck16
Did you tell him why you left? Were things difficult right before you left?
He probably shouldn't laugh but as he's been your best friend since you were very young and you've been together for so long, his response may just be because he knows how much you do love him deep down. He probably knows you better than anyone and can read you better than anyone.

Posted from TSR Mobile


Thanks for replying. Thinks hadn't been difficult but I had been feeling a bit down for a few months. I felt like I was missing out as I had dated the same person my entire adult life. Along with being a bit stressed at work. We are both doctors and work at the same hospital. We went to the same uni aswell and I felt chained to him and needed to break free.

He was devastated at first but after just a day or two he stopped messaging me.

He told me that's because he knew I would come back and wouldn't sleep with anyone else in the meantime.

Maybe you're right. He felt secure in the knowledge I would be back.

He does know me extremely well. Even better than I know myself it seems!
Why are there so many non - students using this forum...?
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for replying. Thinks hadn't been difficult but I had been feeling a bit down for a few months. I felt like I was missing out as I had dated the same person my entire adult life. Along with being a bit stressed at work. We are both doctors and work at the same hospital. We went to the same uni aswell and I felt chained to him and needed to break free.

He was devastated at first but after just a day or two he stopped messaging me.

He told me that's because he knew I would come back and wouldn't sleep with anyone else in the meantime.

Maybe you're right. He felt secure in the knowledge I would be back.

He does know me extremely well. Even better than I know myself it seems!


You weren't having problems. You just left. He probably thought you needed time alone to gather yourself :smile:

I'm glad that everything seems to be working out!

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Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Why are there so many non - students using this forum...?


I am a student. I'm doing a PHD in microbiology alongside my work.
I wouldn't have taken you back he must have 0 pride

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Sounds like he knows you better than you know yourself. His reaction is much better than being angry/ignoring you - I appreciate why you find it confusing, but you should just be grateful to have found someone so understanding.
Original post by Killa Kam
I wouldn't have taken you back he must have 0 pride

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That's very unfair. I probably wouldn't have either, but everyone is different.

Just be thankful. Make sure it's really what you want, as he doesn't deserve to be messed around.

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