My last relationship - have I done the right thing?
Hi all, just want your opinion on something
I have recently come out of a 2 1/2 year relationship, the break up was a build up of a lot of things and I ended up leaving as I felt like there was no respect for me at all:
Just to make things clearer I'll start from the beginning, I was 3 years older than her, we started dating when she was 16 and I was 19 , things started great we both fell in love deeply, spent all our time talking on the phone and getting really close. I then found out the she had depression, anxiety and self harmed. At first I would be there for her sometimes every night on the phone till 3am , when she was contemplating on suicide, and hurting herself but I was was there for her always whenever she needed and she found the strength to stop self harming completely, this was about 1 year into the relationship while I was at uni.
I then got a job near home for 14months, so I'd see her nearly every other day, took her out on dates completely paid for by me to dinner , cinema , shows in London you name it. Bought her flowers and random gifts.
Then I slowly began to notice things, she was incredibly jealous and protective of me over other girls, she had no trust in me whatsoever , I'd never cheated or barely even talked to girls while in the relationship. She would also when I started struggling with money, make me feel so bad for not being able to take her out for dinner, or being able to afford the fuel to come see her every other day. We would have massive arguments over my past relationships where she would literally start screaming and crying and swearing at me in the car when I dropped her home some nights. This began to have an effect on me and I felt myself become depressed, wanting to self harm , but I cared about this girl more than anything so I carried on , the reason being is that even after all the horrible stuff that happened between us there was still a lot of times where we had so much fun were madly in love and a lot of great memories were. ( it was almost like she had two sides to her)
However when it came for me to go back to uni, things got worse, her parents split up and her trust in me went to less than zero. I went out 3 times in total that year I was at uni and she broke up with me each time cause of her anxiety, even though she went out occasionally and was adding guys she met on Facebook whom id never heard of to this day.
Things got worse as wheneverr I went on fb she would instantly message me asking who I was talking to and what I was doing on there, my birthday was even ruined because a couple of girls from my course wrote happy birthday on my wall. (Bearing in mind my gf was now 18, at the beginning of the relationship I thought she was being immature but at 18 I didn't expect this) I'd then have to endure phone calls with her refusing to say she loved me at the end of them until I sorted her moods out.
Then came valentines, she broke up with me the day before I was to come home. I made things work and we had a great Valentine's Day together and we're still madly in love.
However the break ups didn't stop, I came home for 4 weeks in which I was writing my dissertation, so I was stressed beyond belief , I still Made time to see her every other day, she wanted to organise a holiday which she had got money from her parents for, but i didn't know if I wanted to go as I was incredibly stressed and she had broken up with me twice in the weeks prior.
This holiday talk made things worse she kept saying whenever she got angry that she wanted to end everything and she was done. I'd then agree with her to end things and she would apologise saying she didn't mean it and she couldn't loose me.
I gave her two more chances and a final warning saying that if she was going to threaten to break up with me again then I would be the one to end it, she understood and told me she wouldn't say it again. Two days later however she did and told me to f*** off back to uni, I had to keep my word on what I said so I ended it and went back to uni. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.
she then called me and texted me for a week telling me she loved me and she didn't want it to end. This broke me inside as all I wanted to do was be together but I new it couldn't work the way things were, I said to her I just needed space to finish off my dissertation and focus on exams, we both wanted things in the future to be positive and hoped we could work it out over summer, two weeks then passed and I tried talking to her, she had completely changed, she'd been out on a night with her mates and told me how much better off she was and how much more happy she was without me in her life, then she blocked me on Facebook deleted every photo of us ever taken almost trying to wipe out us Ever happening, this completely broke me inside and I've been left mentally scared by this relationship , it's completely confused me but my head is telling me I've done the right choice, but I still feel completely broken after it all.
To be honest I think I'd struggle to be in another relationship with someone after how much I cared for them only to throw it in my face.
My parents say that I've "dodged a bullet" and things would only get worse if I stayed.
What do you guys think?
I have recently come out of a 2 1/2 year relationship, the break up was a build up of a lot of things and I ended up leaving as I felt like there was no respect for me at all:
Just to make things clearer I'll start from the beginning, I was 3 years older than her, we started dating when she was 16 and I was 19 , things started great we both fell in love deeply, spent all our time talking on the phone and getting really close. I then found out the she had depression, anxiety and self harmed. At first I would be there for her sometimes every night on the phone till 3am , when she was contemplating on suicide, and hurting herself but I was was there for her always whenever she needed and she found the strength to stop self harming completely, this was about 1 year into the relationship while I was at uni.
I then got a job near home for 14months, so I'd see her nearly every other day, took her out on dates completely paid for by me to dinner , cinema , shows in London you name it. Bought her flowers and random gifts.
Then I slowly began to notice things, she was incredibly jealous and protective of me over other girls, she had no trust in me whatsoever , I'd never cheated or barely even talked to girls while in the relationship. She would also when I started struggling with money, make me feel so bad for not being able to take her out for dinner, or being able to afford the fuel to come see her every other day. We would have massive arguments over my past relationships where she would literally start screaming and crying and swearing at me in the car when I dropped her home some nights. This began to have an effect on me and I felt myself become depressed, wanting to self harm , but I cared about this girl more than anything so I carried on , the reason being is that even after all the horrible stuff that happened between us there was still a lot of times where we had so much fun were madly in love and a lot of great memories were. ( it was almost like she had two sides to her)
However when it came for me to go back to uni, things got worse, her parents split up and her trust in me went to less than zero. I went out 3 times in total that year I was at uni and she broke up with me each time cause of her anxiety, even though she went out occasionally and was adding guys she met on Facebook whom id never heard of to this day.
Things got worse as wheneverr I went on fb she would instantly message me asking who I was talking to and what I was doing on there, my birthday was even ruined because a couple of girls from my course wrote happy birthday on my wall. (Bearing in mind my gf was now 18, at the beginning of the relationship I thought she was being immature but at 18 I didn't expect this) I'd then have to endure phone calls with her refusing to say she loved me at the end of them until I sorted her moods out.
Then came valentines, she broke up with me the day before I was to come home. I made things work and we had a great Valentine's Day together and we're still madly in love.
However the break ups didn't stop, I came home for 4 weeks in which I was writing my dissertation, so I was stressed beyond belief , I still Made time to see her every other day, she wanted to organise a holiday which she had got money from her parents for, but i didn't know if I wanted to go as I was incredibly stressed and she had broken up with me twice in the weeks prior.
This holiday talk made things worse she kept saying whenever she got angry that she wanted to end everything and she was done. I'd then agree with her to end things and she would apologise saying she didn't mean it and she couldn't loose me.
I gave her two more chances and a final warning saying that if she was going to threaten to break up with me again then I would be the one to end it, she understood and told me she wouldn't say it again. Two days later however she did and told me to f*** off back to uni, I had to keep my word on what I said so I ended it and went back to uni. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.
she then called me and texted me for a week telling me she loved me and she didn't want it to end. This broke me inside as all I wanted to do was be together but I new it couldn't work the way things were, I said to her I just needed space to finish off my dissertation and focus on exams, we both wanted things in the future to be positive and hoped we could work it out over summer, two weeks then passed and I tried talking to her, she had completely changed, she'd been out on a night with her mates and told me how much better off she was and how much more happy she was without me in her life, then she blocked me on Facebook deleted every photo of us ever taken almost trying to wipe out us Ever happening, this completely broke me inside and I've been left mentally scared by this relationship , it's completely confused me but my head is telling me I've done the right choice, but I still feel completely broken after it all.
To be honest I think I'd struggle to be in another relationship with someone after how much I cared for them only to throw it in my face.
My parents say that I've "dodged a bullet" and things would only get worse if I stayed.
What do you guys think?
You've made a spectacular choice. Believe me girls like your ex will not hesitate to put a knife to your face if they catch you with hanging out with other
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
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