Obese but scared about excerise
So I'm in a bit of situation which leaves me crying after deciding I should try going to the gym. I have no idea what I'm doing at the gym, I'm scared of my gym as it's a very open space with what seems like little gym equipment (I'm not sure if this is to help the airflow). I know the whole, people aren't watching me and people have been in my shoes once, however I'm still terrified of being in front of people and exercisng. My other problem is, when I get hot and sweaty I get really really angry (and I have really bad anger management problems). So when I do exercise, the tiniest of things will set me off. I've tried going with a group of friends and with one friend, but it still becomes too much after around 10/20mins and I leave. I'm really concerned because I'm 15st and I should be between 8-10st and I know I need to exercise to lose weight but there's this solid mental block that breaks me down whenever I leave the house or am at the gym. Has anyone been in this situation and could share their experiences and how they've got past this mental block? Thanks.
TLDR: Need to lose weight, terrified of gym and I get really angry when hot and sweaty.
TLDR: Need to lose weight, terrified of gym and I get really angry when hot and sweaty.
Original post by Anonymous
So I'm in a bit of situation which leaves me crying after deciding I should try going to the gym. I have no idea what I'm doing at the gym, I'm scared of my gym as it's a very open space with what seems like little gym equipment (I'm not sure if this is to help the airflow). I know the whole, people aren't watching me and people have been in my shoes once, however I'm still terrified of being in front of people and exercisng. My other problem is, when I get hot and sweaty I get really really angry (and I have really bad anger management problems). So when I do exercise, the tiniest of things will set me off. I've tried going with a group of friends and with one friend, but it still becomes too much after around 10/20mins and I leave. I'm really concerned because I'm 15st and I should be between 8-10st and I know I need to exercise to lose weight but there's this solid mental block that breaks me down whenever I leave the house or am at the gym. Has anyone been in this situation and could share their experiences and how they've got past this mental block? Thanks.
TLDR: Need to lose weight, terrified of gym and I get really angry when hot and sweaty.
TLDR: Need to lose weight, terrified of gym and I get really angry when hot and sweaty.
Have you considered other types of exercise? Swimming is usually considered good cos you're supported more by the water so movement is easier and you tend to get less worn out and sweaty. A less strenuous exercise might be good for you. Maybe a lighter plan at the gym, or going for walks. Yoga could be good for you as you can do it pretty much anywhere so don't have to be with people and is also good for meditation (may be better for your anger issue).
For some people the gym just isn't the answer. Try to find an exercise you enjoy and you will find it easier to keep it up.
Original post by Anonymous
So I'm in a bit of situation which leaves me crying after deciding I should try going to the gym. I have no idea what I'm doing at the gym, I'm scared of my gym as it's a very open space with what seems like little gym equipment (I'm not sure if this is to help the airflow). I know the whole, people aren't watching me and people have been in my shoes once, however I'm still terrified of being in front of people and exercisng. My other problem is, when I get hot and sweaty I get really really angry (and I have really bad anger management problems). So when I do exercise, the tiniest of things will set me off. I've tried going with a group of friends and with one friend, but it still becomes too much after around 10/20mins and I leave. I'm really concerned because I'm 15st and I should be between 8-10st and I know I need to exercise to lose weight but there's this solid mental block that breaks me down whenever I leave the house or am at the gym. Has anyone been in this situation and could share their experiences and how they've got past this mental block? Thanks.
TLDR: Need to lose weight, terrified of gym and I get really angry when hot and sweaty.
TLDR: Need to lose weight, terrified of gym and I get really angry when hot and sweaty.
Diet is much much more effective for weight loss. Though it is definitely a good idea to exercise too.
As above swimming is a great form of exercise for people who get too quickly winded by other forms of cardio. And you don't feel sweaty and gross when you swim.
But if exercise at the gym is really that big of a problem for you right now then I think you should just focus on losing weight through diet instead at least until you feel a little more confident exercising in the gym and with less weight on you you'll tire less quickly and sweat less.
Also if you haven't already I recommend getting some help for your anger problems.
If you're unsure how to change your diet then first calculate your TDEE:
http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html
After you have calculated that you just need to eat under that calorific per day and you will lose weight. How much weight you lose depends on how big of a calorie deficit you have. For example if you eat 500 calories below a day you should lose approximately 1lb per week (as 1lb of fat is approximately 3500 calories) and I'm sure you can figure out the maths of it from there.
And remember it's not a race and it's okay to lose slowly, in fact it's advised not too try to lose weight aggressively of much more than 2lbs a week on average. You didn't get to this weight overnight so don't expect to get to your goal weight that quickly either. And don't get disheartened if the scales don't go down like clockwork, sometimes you might not see a weight shift at all and some weeks you'll see a bigger jump and that is perfectly normal. Although if you are not seeing a change in the scale at all after being at a calorie defect for at least 4-6 weeks then you may not be counting your calories accurately and may be eating more calories than you think. Also remember some weight fluctuation of 1-4ish pounds is completely normal, especially if you're female and around the time of your cycle. That is mostly fluid retention and not actually body mass.
As for what you should eat. The bare bones of weight loss is calories in vs calories out so what you eat exactly has little impact on your weight loss (ignoring keto diets for the moment as it's not necessary). However what you eat does have an impact on how you feel and your health, so try to eat a varied and balanced diet and don't starve yourself or make yourself miserable as you'll be more likely to quit and over eat in the long run thus preventing weight loss.
Also remember this is a lifestyle change not a diet, you can't just go back to eating the way you did before after losing weight. Your diet now is what got you into this position so don't assume you won't end up back there on the same diet. After you have gotten to your goal weight re-calculate your TDEE and eat that much per day on average and you should maintain a stable weight. I recommend using www.myfitnesspal.com for calorie counting it's quick and easy to use.
(edited 8 years ago)
These replies have been amazing and really helpful. I really really appreciate it. I'm seeing the dr today about depression and anxiety (had a big incident over the weekend which resulted in losing my bf of a year) and I'll start looking into other exercises and see about contact sports! Thank you
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