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    (Original post by fearless96)
    I want to watch the movie . And I'd feel bad for backing out.
    I highly doubt you're being completely honest here, with us or yourself.

    You could watch the move with anyone else, not seeing it with him won't prevent you seeing it at all.

    You also logically know you have nothing to feel bad for if you back out and don't take him because he is an ass and you owe him nothing.


    Yet you're going to do it anyway and you're not even being honest with yourself as to why.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    I highly doubt you're being completely honest here, with us or yourself.

    You could watch the move with anyone else, not seeing it with him won't prevent you seeing it at all.

    You also logically know you have nothing to feel bad for if you back out and don't take him because he is an ass and you owe him nothing.


    Yet you're going to do it anyway and you're not even being honest with yourself as to why.
    That's the only thing I can think of as to why I'm going. I still love the guy .
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    That's the only thing I can think of as to why I'm going. I still love the guy .
    If they're the only reasons you can think of, surely you can see what rubbish reasons they are?

    Yes, I know you still love him. But love isn't going to protect you and it isn't going to get any better with this guy,

    Regardless of your love for him you need to let him go and get him completely out of your life, because you clearly don't have the strength to have him remaining in your life.


    I can't tell you what to do. If you're going to go with him you're going to do so regardless of what I or others say. But please listen to me when I tell you it is the stupidest thing you could do. Please, don't be an idiot with your emotional well being. All you are doing is hurting yourself. You're not going to get him back, he's not going to change and all you will do is hurt yourself along the way.
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    (Original post by thatweirdasian)
    There are only 2 reasons why a promise should be broken;
    1) If it harms your well being physically or psychologically
    2) If the other person dies

    You qualify for number 1 so call him up and cancel it.
    (Original post by fearless96)
    Ah(
    number two is arrangeable
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    It's SO easy for other people to say "why are you still seeing him get out now" but doing it is a whole other matter entirely. There's a reason women stay with abusive men for so long and that's because they have been so manipulated that they feel like this guy is the only one who will be there for them. Especially if they don't have many close friends to talk to.

    OP the fact that you're posting here shows you know that he's not a nice guy and it's the first step admitting there's a problem. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 18 months, he cheated multiple times and I chose to ignore it because I lived for the good moments we had together. I'm not in it any more and my wellbeing is 10000000x better.

    You need to cut it off slowly. See less and less of him. I understand how difficult it is but you're stronger than you think. Find someone you can talk to in real life. I was lucky I had a really good friend and whenever I felt like messaging him I messaged her instead. One of the hardest things I ever did was removing that guy from my life. But when I did I found my confidence again. You're worth more, believe me! Good luck.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    If they're the only reasons you can think of, surely you can see what rubbish reasons they are?

    Yes, I know you still love him. But love isn't going to protect you and it isn't going to get any better with this guy,

    Regardless of your love for him you need to let him go and get him completely out of your life, because you clearly don't have the strength to have him remaining in your life.


    I can't tell you what to do. If you're going to go with him you're going to do so regardless of what I or others say. But please listen to me when I tell you it is the stupidest thing you could do. Please, don't be an idiot with your emotional well being. All you are doing is hurting yourself. You're not going to get him back, he's not going to change and all you will do is hurt yourself along the way.
    How do I end it then? When I drop him off home do I just say yeah it was nice but I don't wanna be in contact with u
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    (Original post by Alice__90)
    It's SO easy for other people to say "why are you still seeing him get out now" but doing it is a whole other matter entirely. There's a reason women stay with abusive men for so long and that's because they have been so manipulated that they feel like this guy is the only one who will be there for them. Especially if they don't have many close friends to talk to.

    OP the fact that you're posting here shows you know that he's not a nice guy and it's the first step admitting there's a problem. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 18 months, he cheated multiple times and I chose to ignore it because I lived for the good moments we had together. I'm not in it any more and my wellbeing is 10000000x better.

    You need to cut it off slowly. See less and less of him. I understand how difficult it is but you're stronger than you think. Find someone you can talk to in real life. I was lucky I had a really good friend and whenever I felt like messaging him I messaged her instead. One of the hardest things I ever did was removing that guy from my life. But when I did I found my confidence again. You're worth more, believe me! Good luck.
    Thank you !! We don't talk as often as we used to. We hardly see eachother so yeah that's been put there . I'm just in the last few steps I think of cutting him completely off and not feeling the temptation to go back there .
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    (Original post by jamesthehustler)
    number two is arrangeable
    Lol ! 😂
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    (Original post by Alice__90)
    It's SO easy for other people to say "why are you still seeing him get out now" but doing it is a whole other matter entirely. There's a reason women stay with abusive men for so long and that's because they have been so manipulated that they feel like this guy is the only one who will be there for them. Especially if they don't have many close friends to talk to.

    OP the fact that you're posting here shows you know that he's not a nice guy and it's the first step admitting there's a problem. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 18 months, he cheated multiple times and I chose to ignore it because I lived for the good moments we had together. I'm not in it any more and my wellbeing is 10000000x better.

    You need to cut it off slowly. See less and less of him. I understand how difficult it is but you're stronger than you think. Find someone you can talk to in real life. I was lucky I had a really good friend and whenever I felt like messaging him I messaged her instead. One of the hardest things I ever did was removing that guy from my life. But when I did I found my confidence again. You're worth more, believe me! Good luck.

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    (Original post by fearless96)
    How do I end it then? When I drop him off home do I just say yeah it was nice but I don't wanna be in contact with u
    Don't take him out at all. Delete him from all social media and block his number. He doesn't need nor deserve an explanation. Move on with your life
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    What a doormat.
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    You say you're too nice and people walk all over you. Well sometimes you have to stop caring and do you. There's no reason why you need to take him anywhere. I'm kinda puzzled as to why this was even a promise. I can understand saying ''when I get my car we'll do xyz ''. We all say these kinda things when we are in a relationship and don't expect a breakup to occur. But to say something along the lines of '' no matter what I'll take you for a drive'' or whatever you said is a bit strange.

    The moment I've broken up with someone granted we haven't agreed to be friends and it wasn't mutual I'd say '' Bye Felicia"👋
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    unless you've signed some legal contract, who the **** cares?
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    How about picking up a few friends with him on the day of the movie? Turn it into a group event. That way youre not left on your own with him and his selfish attitude will probably dissapate in front of an audience. Then straight after you've dropped him off, explain its a toxic relationship, and have no further contact with him.

    If it were me though i would cancel the date. He can take someone else and you're not in the right place emotionally. It sounds to me like he's using this event like an excuse to get back in your life. Don't fall for it, he sounds like a manipulative bully and you can do better
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    Having read the thread its not hard to see everyone thinks he's a *hit.

    You are confused and not seeing things clearly. he's obviously making you sad and then you reel off a whole list of things of how hes abusive to you and makes you cry.

    Most people are saying just dump him, but you then come up with this idea of a promise. Treating you like crap is a fundamental breach of that and id sat it was implied that you would be on good terms even if you hadnt split. You arent, hes treated you like rubbish so you shouldnt feel anu obligation.

    You are weak and making excuses for him. You say you love him but he doesnt love you or have any respecct for you. His abuse is not a display of someone who loves you.

    If you naively thought you had to go through with the drive, then i'd have dropped him off at the cinema, the alternative was to take your mum with you, he get his ride and he cna take someone else. Ofc you are your own worst enemy at the moment becayse you dont wnat to face up to the fact hes mistreated you and thats who he is, so you make excuses for him. Dont let people or boys treat you like that in life. Your choice.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Don't take him out at all. Delete him from all social media and block his number. He doesn't need nor deserve an explanation. Move on with your life
    Here's an update from last night :it was horrible . Erm, he said I didn't appreciate anything and that's to do with my upbringing and he couldn't care less if I was offended by it at all.
    It all kicked off after movie when I spoke to him about it all and he asked what I wanted out from it all.. I reversed the car and said I'm gonna take u home and then were done. He flipped majorly and was like open the door I'll walk it . Etc . He pulled the handbrake and shouted at me. I almost got into an accident twice . Cause of him. I've blocked the ****er . I am so done. Yet he still wanted me to call him when I eventually dropped him home he told me to call him on the way back home else he wouldn't let me leave so that he knew I went home. And that's all.

    Don't bring the ' I told u' . It's fricking hard . Yeah I cried to him. And then I just told him to go do one.
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Me & my ex boyfriend have decided to watch a movie this evening together. I've passed my driving test so we made a promise ages ago that even if we're not together I'll still have to take him for a ride before anyone else . Now it's come to that stage ..

    To be very honest, I don't even want to see him. He's horrible . He's put me down on the way I look, he's spoken ill of me to other girls .. There's just so much but he thinks it okay ..

    I can't back out. But please can someone just tell me what to do in the following :

    How do I act tomorrow evening when I get him? Cause my mood right now is so off. I don't even want to see him . But he's bought the tickets.What can I do to make him feel bad for the way he's treated me seeing as he doesn't understand by telling him and crying. If he puts his arm around me how can I prevent it without causing a scene ? Sorry it's so long. It's a toxic relationship I've been in. He's really play mind games with me . It's hard to walk away.. I was thinking of just having music really loud in the car to and from there .
    omg don't go!! he sounds v controlling and not someone who should be controlling your life
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Having read the thread its not hard to see everyone thinks he's a *hit.

    You are confused and not seeing things clearly. he's obviously making you sad and then you reel off a whole list of things of how hes abusive to you and makes you cry.

    Most people are saying just dump him, but you then come up with this idea of a promise. Treating you like crap is a fundamental breach of that and id sat it was implied that you would be on good terms even if you hadnt split. You arent, hes treated you like rubbish so you shouldnt feel anu obligation.

    You are weak and making excuses for him. You say you love him but he doesnt love you or have any respecct for you. His abuse is not a display of someone who loves you.

    If you naively thought you had to go through with the drive, then i'd have dropped him off at the cinema, the alternative was to take your mum with you, he get his ride and he cna take someone else. Ofc you are your own worst enemy at the moment becayse you dont wnat to face up to the fact hes mistreated you and thats who he is, so you make excuses for him. Dont let people or boys treat you like that in life. Your choice.
    Here's an update from last night :it was horrible . Erm, he said I didn't appreciate anything and that's to do with my upbringing and he couldn't care less if I was offended by it at all. It all kicked off after movie when I spoke to him about it all and he asked what I wanted out from it all.. I reversed the car and said I'm gonna take u home and then were done. He flipped majorly and was like open the door I'll walk it . Etc . He pulled the handbrake and shouted at me. I almost got into an accident twice . Cause of him. I've blocked the ****er . I am so done. Yet he still wanted me to call him when I eventually dropped him home he told me to call him on the way back home else he wouldn't let me leave so that he knew I went home. And that's all. Don't bring the ' I told u' . It's fricking hard . Yeah I cried to him. And then I just told him to go do one.
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    well i can tell you how you can make him feel so bad. call him up, tell him your going to the movie. before you guys meet up bring a guy friend along and tell him your going to see a movie with him instead and tell him "i don't care if i wasted your money coz you f***in deserve it anyway". one he would feel jealous and two you wasted his money. tbh i think this is a bit to nice in terms of what he has done to you, if you think of anything else do it. this may be a bit evil but u got to do what you need to do gurl. whatever you do DON'T GO WITH HIM!!!!
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    (Original post by fearless96)
    Here's an update from last night :it was horrible . Erm, he said I didn't appreciate anything and that's to do with my upbringing and he couldn't care less if I was offended by it at all. It all kicked off after movie when I spoke to him about it all and he asked what I wanted out from it all.. I reversed the car and said I'm gonna take u home and then were done. He flipped majorly and was like open the door I'll walk it . Etc . He pulled the handbrake and shouted at me. I almost got into an accident twice . Cause of him. I've blocked the ****er . I am so done. Yet he still wanted me to call him when I eventually dropped him home he told me to call him on the way back home else he wouldn't let me leave so that he knew I went home. And that's all. Don't bring the ' I told u' . It's fricking hard . Yeah I cried to him. And then I just told him to go do one.
    Theres no need for drama simply dump him, then cut all contact. that means remove him from all social media, block him and do not make ore accpet any form of communication from him. If you do then you guilty of carying it on. Ignore him.

    Tell your mum and if he doesnt leave you alone get your mum to speak to his parents. You dont seem to have much stress to resist. If he keeps on then just get the police involved.

    NO CONTACT AND MOVE ON
 
 
 
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