Going to uni with a boyfriend? Watch

jess1898
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I'm going to uni this month. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for nearly 3 years and even though I'm not moving away to uni, I'm being told not to go to uni with a boyfriend. I live about 15-20 minutes away from my uni and so does my boyfriend. I don't see how having a boyfriend can stop me from having fun. I'm not the type to sleep around or anything and I love him and would never do anything like that.

I don't want me and him to break up or drift apart but people are telling me it's impossible to go through uni with a boyfriend. I'm definitely not going to break up with him but why are people saying this because a lot of my friends are starting uni this month and they all have boyfriends?

I just want to know people's opinions on this considering I live about 15-20 mins away from uni and so does my boyfriend and I'm still going to be living at home and I'm only in 3 days a week so I will have plenty of time to see him and to make new friends and see my friends. He's also not the type to hold me back and he will always be there for me because we have complete trust in each other.

Opinions?
0
reply
UWS
  • Answer Heroes
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 years ago
#2
You clearly want to stay with him so stay with him. Don't see what the issue is.
0
reply
Laurasaur
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 years ago
#3
If you want to try it, just do it. You'll only know if it works for you if you try it.
The people who break up before uni are those who aren't sure they want a long term (monogamous) relationship with their current partner. People break up to open up the chance of a new relationship, if that's not what you want, don't do it!!
You are likely to make it work if you both really want it to work. Especially in your situation, I'd say give it a go.
0
reply
Withengar
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 years ago
#4
I don't see the conundrum here.

Your friends try to convince you of a faulty "one-size-fits-all" statement and that prompts you to think this, despite the fact that you claim that you're absolutely sure you and your boyfriend will stay together? Don't worry about any of it. If your relationship is loving, secure and stable, it will remain so regardless of university. If it isn't, it was going to end whether you go to university or not.

Some people, in this case your friends, might want to use university to sleep with multiple people and drink heavily, in which case they probably don't want boyfriends holding them back. You do you. Let them do their own thing and decide what's best for them.
0
reply
MrsSheldonCooper
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 years ago
#5
Oh Lord people are wrong when they tell you it's impossible to go through uni with a boyfriend. You and your bf sound serious so why listen to them? There are plenty of people out there who have managed to keep their partner throughout uni.
1
reply
999tigger
  • Answer Heroes
Badges: 19
#6
Report 2 years ago
#6
(Original post by jess1898)
I'm going to uni this month. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for nearly 3 years and even though I'm not moving away to uni, I'm being told not to go to uni with a boyfriend. I live about 15-20 minutes away from my uni and so does my boyfriend. I don't see how having a boyfriend can stop me from having fun. I'm not the type to sleep around or anything and I love him and would never do anything like that.

I don't want me and him to break up or drift apart but people are telling me it's impossible to go through uni with a boyfriend. I'm definitely not going to break up with him but why are people saying this because a lot of my friends are starting uni this month and they all have boyfriends?

I just want to know people's opinions on this considering I live about 15-20 mins away from uni and so does my boyfriend and I'm still going to be living at home and I'm only in 3 days a week so I will have plenty of time to see him and to make new friends and see my friends. He's also not the type to hold me back and he will always be there for me because we have complete trust in each other.

Opinions?
In your situation.

1. You still love him so your relationship isnt under pressure.
2. You arent moving to uni, so all that will happen is you have even more time for him.


No reason for uni to threaten that situation.

In contrast a relationship would come under pressure where the relationship is on the wane or not very strong.

Why?
Because you move away (you arent)
Because you dont have a shared experience- i.e you meet new people and have a new world, but he doesnt share.
What then tends to happen is you realise you arent doing things together and also that it becomes even more limiting becayse theres people who you are with who maybe you could have a relationship with. You grow to resnt it and both parties get stressed for not being together.

In your case you have a strong relationship that isnt going to suffer the above stresses. Uni relationships arent necessarily going to be anywhere hear as strong or make you happier thna the one you have.

Your friends are saying it because maybe their relationships arent as strong and also they arent staying at home. Things can happen in three years but for now if you are happy then stick with what you have. It doesnt have to cramp your uni experience at all and tbh living at home makes it different.
reply
Rhythmical
  • Political Ambassador
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 years ago
#7
You sound serious with your boyfriend and you've been together for three years so I don't see why going to university will ruin that, if you don't try it then you'll have regrets but don't get rid of him because of university.
0
reply
username1229433
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 years ago
#8
They just mad because they don't have a man.


Posted from TSR Mobile
0
reply
Pinkberry_y
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#9
Report 2 years ago
#9
No there are people who stay with their boyfriends throughout uni, it's not a feat that's impossible. Entering university isn't going to loosen your morals and cause you to cheat on eachother. The people that are encouraging you to break up with him are the type to want an excuse to sleep around (single and having fun)
0
reply
elizabetht96
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#10
Report 2 years ago
#10
I'm starting university soon as well and have been with my boyfriend almost 3 years. My university is 4 hours away and I will be living there. My boyfriend & I will be fine, I am jealous that you get to be so close to yours. If you trust each other and make sure you make time to see each other then what's the issue?
0
reply
PandaCalavera
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#11
Report 2 years ago
#11
I've never understood the whole commotion made over relationships at university. I can understand if maybe you would both be travelling to different universities far away, but if you love each other and are happy in your relationship then there's no need to even consider breaking up for uni. I'm in the same position as you in that me and my boyfriend both live close (ish) to the university, and a very short distance from each other and we're really happy so going to uni never phased us.

I was originally going to a different uni over an hour away, and we were still determined to keep seeing each other. However, luckily I changed at the last minute. This has made everything easier, but even so, if going to uni is too much of a temptation away from your relationship (in terms of other people being around) then I would question the relationship itself. I have met loads of men at university, some of which are my friends, and such thoughts have never crossed my mind because I love my boyfriend.

If you love each other it will be totally fine and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
0
reply
RooshV
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#12
Report 2 years ago
#12
You writing this post means that you're at least considering discontinuing your relationship due to uni.

Part of you wants that thrill of meeting new males.

After all its been 3 years.

You want us to convince you to stay strong and say you can do it!! You are able resist the hungry males who will try and capture you at uni.

You want our moral support because of your innate temptation.

I will provide that by moral support by saying, its totally up to you what you do. You can succumb to the new alphas or stay in your relationship.
1
reply
Neon_Bubbles
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 years ago
#13
Some relationships do break up because one person went to uni, or they had to go long distance but many don't and they stay together: I've been with my boyfriend for three years now and I'm going into my final year of university, in the first year of our relationship I was 200 miles away at another college then moved closer for uni and we're still together.

Ignore people who say it will never work because the only people who can decide whether it will work or not is the two of you and from the information given in your post you should be fine (living relatively close by, seeing one another regularly, complete trust etc)
0
reply
jess1898
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#14
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#14
(Original post by RooshV)
You writing this post means that you're at least considering it.

Part of you wants that thrill of meeting new males.

After all its been 3 years.

You want us to convince you to stay strong and say you can do it!! You are able resist the hungry males who will try and capture you at uni.

You want our moral support because of your innate temptation.

I will provide that by moral support by saying, its totally up to you what you do. You can succumb to the new alphas or stay in your relationship.
I'm not considering it at all, I just wanted people's opinions.
0
reply
WilJones138
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#15
Report 2 years ago
#15
Whenever I read stories like these all that goes through my mind is "Oh dear, Oh dear, Abort, Abort GTFO" you're leading yourself to a lot of heartache imho being brutally honest you need to be free of commitments when going to university and nothing holding you back, I'm afraid to say its often the case that relationships prevent this and severely damage people's university experiences... if you feel its necessary go for it.. you can make it work, but it wont be easy.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Where do you need more help?

Which Uni should I go to? (59)
15.21%
How successful will I become if I take my planned subjects? (38)
9.79%
How happy will I be if I take this career? (74)
19.07%
How do I achieve my dream Uni placement? (58)
14.95%
What should I study to achieve my dream career? (43)
11.08%
How can I be the best version of myself? (116)
29.9%

Watched Threads

View All