JustEwan
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I've been questioning my sexuality for about six months and still aren't quite sure what I want. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual (I'm 14 and male) can anyone help?
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Slowbro93
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(Original post by JustEwan)
I've been questioning my sexuality for about six months and still aren't quite sure what I want. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual (I'm 14 and male) can anyone help?
I would go with the flow, not put any labels on it and see what you like

(Been out as Bi for the last 8 years)
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_gcx
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(Original post by Glassapple)
It's that kind of indecisive lifestyle that causes a lot of people psychological damage and leaves them without any idea of who they are. It's fine for the stages where you're still exploring, but eight years, although working for you, is not a healthy amount of time to just be going with things and not having a sexual identity for the vast majority of people. I know I'm gay but I wouldn't just not give myself an identity because of the cliche of not labelling.

Eight years is more than enough time to have figured out who you are; I think it's immature and self-evasive to think otherwise.
Being bi is indecisive? What?
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username2911200
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(Original post by _gcx)
Being bi is indecisive? What?
I don't see how you could be totally happy with someone if you know you like (and will obviously miss), sex and intimate company with another sex. How can you be with one sex while in the back (or front) of your mind you like/love something your partner cannot ever give you? That will cause resentment, jealousy and unhappiness.
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NeeceLondon
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Other people can't help you determine what your sexuality is. I agree with Slowbro93 that you should just 'go with the flow'. Like who you like, explore your sexuality and don't feel pressured to label yourself.

Oh and being bi doesn't mean you're indecisive so ignore nonsensical opinions like that.
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_gcx
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(Original post by Glassapple)
I don't see how you could be totally happy with someone if you know you like (and will obviously miss), sex and intimate company with another sex. How can you be with one sex while in the back (or front) of your mind you like/love something your partner cannot ever give you? That will cause resentment, jealousy and unhappiness.
Doesn't this occur in many, even happy, relationships? (not just talking about sexual matters)
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JustEwan
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By the way I like two guys but more
girls
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username2911200
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(Original post by _gcx)
Doesn't this occur in many, even happy, relationships? (not just talking about sexual matters)
It's not the same. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who still likes to have sex with girls; I'd feel I wasn't physically enough, that sometimes (or a lot of the time), he'd be thinking/fantasising about something I could never give him, something that he liked/loved, that he'd either have to try (or not try depending on various things) and repress, or cheat on me to get. In the back and front of my mind I'd always think I could never completely satisfy him sexually and I'd be correct; he'd still like sex with girls and I'd be denying him that.

Aside from that, surely he'd feel unfulfilled that he couldn't have something he wanted, that he'd be confused who to be with, who he really is, is anyone ever going to be enough for him when he knows full well he likes people of a completely different sex. It's not fair on anyone to have to feel like that.
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chelseadagg3r
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Really, just go with it. I was into girls and guys for years before I actually labelled myself as bisexual, and it didn't harm me at all. Don't force yourself into a label when you're not sure, because the truth is the label itself doesn't matter. Just discover yourself and find out what you like. The answer will come to you in time, probably as you get older and have more opportunity to discover things like that

(Original post by Glassapple)
I don't see how you could be totally happy with someone if you know you like (and will obviously miss), sex and intimate company with another sex. How can you be with one sex while in the back (or front) of your mind you like/love something your partner cannot ever give you? That will cause resentment, jealousy and unhappiness.
It's exactly the same as any other couple. Just like a gay man might miss other men, or a straight man might think about other women. We're not animals that need both sexes, we just like both. We're still fully committed to partners in the same way other orientations are
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_gcx
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(Original post by Glassapple)
It's not the same. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who still likes to have sex with girls; I'd feel I wasn't physically enough, that sometimes (or a lot of the time), he'd be thinking/fantasising about something I could never give him, something that he liked/loved, that he'd either have to try (or not try depending on various things) and repress, or cheat on me to get. In the back and front of my mind I'd always think I could never completely satisfy him sexually and I'd be correct; he'd still like sex with girls and I'd be denying him that.

Aside from that, surely he'd feel unfulfilled that he couldn't have something he wanted, that he'd be confused who to be with, who he really is, is anyone ever going to be enough for him when he knows full well he likes people of a completely different sex. It's not fair on anyone to have to feel like that.
Being bisexual doesn't mean that you can't be happy with only one sex... Bisexuals may still favour one sex, and those who deny being bisexual may be bisexual in part. They can still lead happy lives, it's silly to assume that they're divided at every waking moment.

I feel like you overvalue sex as a component of a relationship, but I digress. In a society where more than one partner is deemed to be socially unacceptable, he cannot have both. You should realise that this is unfair against the bisexual person, as they are essentially being punished for something that they cannot control, due to a feeling of inadequacy which can be overcome.

Also, you're assuming promiscuity of bisexuals, which I always find to be a laughable assumption.
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Alesha1991
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(Original post by chelseadagg3r)
It's exactly the same as any other couple. Just like a gay man might miss other men, or a straight man might think about other women. We're not animals that need both sexes, we just like both. We're still fully committed to partners in the same way other orientations are
I never understand this idea that bisexuals are going to be less committed. People who are 100% straight or 100% gay can still find other people of their preferred gender attractive & still be in a committed relationship. So why should it be any different for bisexuals?
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Alesha1991
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(Original post by Glassapple)
It's that kind of indecisive lifestyle that causes a lot of people psychological damage and leaves them without any idea of who they are. It's fine for the stages where you're still exploring, but eight years, although 'working' for you, is not a healthy amount of time to just be going with things and not having a sexual identity for the vast majority of people. I know I'm gay but I wouldn't just not give myself an identity because of the cliche of not labelling.

Eight years is more than enough time to have figured out who you are; I think it's immature and self-evasive to think otherwise.
I don't think you can describe being bi as indecisive because your sexuality isn't something you choose like that. Also for a lot of bisexual people their preferences change over time, it definitely did for me. I first realised I was bi when I was about 14 but was mostly attracted to guys. I then went through a couple of years of being about 50/ 50 & for the last few years I've been mainly attracted to women.
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*pitseleh*
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(Original post by Glassapple)
I don't see how you could be totally happy with someone if you know you like (and will obviously miss), sex and intimate company with another sex. How can you be with one sex while in the back (or front) of your mind you like/love something your partner cannot ever give you? That will cause resentment, jealousy and unhappiness.
Oh, not this again.

Bisexual people are not 'indecisive', and if we somehow hurt another person purely because they'd like us to decide we're either straight or gay, that is their problem.

If you feel that living as a bisexual person would make you unhappy, that's to do with you. You don't get to suggest that another person is doing something wrong if they don't have the same problem with bisexuality that you do.
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_gcx
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(Original post by *pitseleh*)
Oh, not this again.

Bisexual people are not 'indecisive', and if we somehow hurt another person purely because they'd like us to decide we're either straight or gay, that is their problem.

If you feel that living as a bisexual person would make you unhappy, that's to do with you. You don't get to suggest that another person is doing something wrong if they don't have the same problem with bisexuality that you do.
This, absolutely. At the end of the day, you can't blame other people for your own, self-inflicted feelings.
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Slowbro93
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(Original post by Glassapple)
It's that kind of indecisive lifestyle that causes a lot of people psychological damage and leaves them without any idea of who they are. It's fine for the stages where you're still exploring, but eight years, although 'working' for you, is not a healthy amount of time to just be going with things and not having a sexual identity for the vast majority of people. I know I'm gay but I wouldn't just not give myself an identity because of the cliche of not labelling.

Eight years is more than enough time to have figured out who you are; I think it's immature and self-evasive to think otherwise.
Indecisive lifestyle? I would say it's throw away statements that can cause damage. I get you may have had a bad experience with bisexuals. But being bisexual is not "not wanting to be labelled".
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Kvothe the Arcane
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(Original post by JustEwan)
I've been questioning my sexuality for about six months and still aren't quite sure what I want. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual (I'm 14 and male) can anyone help?
There is no reason why you ought to feel the need to put yourself in a box. Besides, labels are descriptive and it would be silly to try to assign one to yourself while you're still questioning. Enjoy your youth, see how you feel and experiment if you wish. You'll figure things out as you age. You may even find that your identity changes as you grow older.
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Tootles
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(Original post by JustEwan)
I've been questioning my sexuality for about six months and still aren't quite sure what I want. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual (I'm 14 and male) can anyone help?
Just be yourself. Sexuality is fluid, and how you define it at a young age even more so. The best thing you can do is just live and be who you are, and not weigh down on yourself or care what people think. There's a whole kind of happiness that comes of not giving a :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin:.

(Original post by Glassapple)
It's that kind of indecisive lifestyle that causes a lot of people psychological damage and leaves them without any idea of who they are. It's fine for the stages where you're still exploring, but eight years, although 'working' for you, is not a healthy amount of time to just be going with things and not having a sexual identity for the vast majority of people. I know I'm gay but I wouldn't just not give myself an identity because of the cliche of not labelling.

Eight years is more than enough time to have figured out who you are; I think it's immature and self-evasive to think otherwise.
I thought we'd got over asshats like you decades ago. Just like you gays fought for years to be accepted, you still won't accept that some of us are bi - and it's not about where we want to put our wang. Call me an awful person for this, but that actually makes me want to push you face-first into a wall and shout lots of horrible homophobic things - and I'm not homophobic.

(Original post by *pitseleh*)
Bisexual people are not 'indecisive', and if we somehow hurt another person purely because they'd like us to decide we're either straight or gay, that is their problem.
Exactly. I don't know about other bis here, but for me it's more about a person's soul than their bits. Obviously people's bits are interesting but there are more important things.
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username2911200
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(Original post by Tootles)
Exactly. I don't know about other bis here, but for me it's more about a person's soul than their bits. Obviously people's bits are interesting but there are more important things.
That's not bisexuality, that's 'pansexuality', which is even more absurd. You should learn what it actually is you think you are before you lecture me about it.
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Tootles
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(Original post by Glassapple)
That's not bisexuality, that's 'pansexuality', which is even more absurd. You should learn what it actually is you think you are before you lecture me about it.
You really do have an attitude, don't you? Maybe you should :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: off where there aren't young teenagers trying to figure out who they are.
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prazzyjazzy
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(Original post by Glassapple)
Are you annoyed because I called you out on your rubbish? Sexuality is not fluid (neither is gender), it's all invented by self-evasive people who aren't grown up enough to face themselves.

You're gay or you're straight, not bisexual or one of these new, 'trendy' sexualities. I've found most straight people are are accepting of homosexuals laugh about pansexuality, fluidity, etc. and I don't blame them. It's attention seeking, needing to be different, needing to be accepted for something you're not actually about. You remind me of: https://m.youtube.com/user/RoryDeganRepresent (you spew the same rubbish).
Since when has being bisexual been trendy? All this salt is unhealthy for you sweaty <3

Btw feel free to make a new thread instead of hijacking this one kthxbye <3<3<3 n don't worry I'll love u even if nobody else will u don't have to hate bisexuals we love everyone regardless of how much an :dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin::dolphin: they are
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