Giving boyfriend silent treatment and he hasn’t even bothered to reach out to me?
He sent his usual morning texts and that’s it. We had an argument last night about how he doesn’t really take the time to text me or ask me how I am. He shows he cares in other ways like spending money on me but it doesn’t show he cares because he’s rich and quite frankly money is nothing to him. I want TIME and EFFORT put into me but he hasn’t shown that at all. So basically it’s 2’oclock now and he hasn’t messaged me asking where I am or why I haven’t replied today. Does this mean he doesn’t care about me??? How long shoul I give it until I cut him off?? Honestly I’ve spoken to him loads about how his lack of effort upsets me but he just hangs up so I thought the best way is to just not respond for a while. But it has not worked
Scroll to see replies
If he hangs up when u are explains how you feel them obviously he doesn’t care... I think u should just leave him be all together..yea having someone who can buy stuff and support you is great but if there isn’t any type of affection or caring it’s not worth it..also The silent treatment just makes things worse maybe instead of telling him how u feel over the phone ask him to meet up somewhere n tell him to his face he can’t hang up if ur in front of him..
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
He sent his usual morning texts and that’s it. We had an argument last night about how he doesn’t really take the time to text me or ask me how I am. He shows he cares in other ways like spending money on me but it doesn’t show he cares because he’s rich and quite frankly money is nothing to him. I want TIME and EFFORT put into me but he hasn’t shown that at all. So basically it’s 2’oclock now and he hasn’t messaged me asking where I am or why I haven’t replied today. Does this mean he doesn’t care about me??? How long shoul I give it until I cut him off?? Honestly I’ve spoken to him loads about how his lack of effort upsets me but he just hangs up so I thought the best way is to just not respond for a while. But it has not worked
If you do not communicate with each other your relationship will not last.
The silent treatment never works - how are you suppose to resolve the situation if you're refusing to talk? Speak to each other like adults
Original post by Anonymous
He sent his usual morning texts and that’s it. We had an argument last night about how he doesn’t really take the time to text me or ask me how I am. He shows he cares in other ways like spending money on me but it doesn’t show he cares because he’s rich and quite frankly money is nothing to him. I want TIME and EFFORT put into me but he hasn’t shown that at all. So basically it’s 2’oclock now and he hasn’t messaged me asking where I am or why I haven’t replied today. Does this mean he doesn’t care about me??? How long shoul I give it until I cut him off?? Honestly I’ve spoken to him loads about how his lack of effort upsets me but he just hangs up so I thought the best way is to just not respond for a while. But it has not worked
Judging from the title, you're just as bad as him if you give the silent treatment - it's a really dumb method, it won't work because you wouldn't be communicating anything to him. He doesn't know what's in your mind. Also, do you expect him to text you ALL the time? Why would he text you if you're not texting anything? - he'll take it that you don't want to be disturbed and need a cooldown, especially after that argument you said happened last night...
How old are you? Because tbh if you’re both willing to give each other the silent treatment or are bothered about how much time has passed between messages then you’re too immature to even be in a relationship.
You fight -> calm down -> discuss -> apologise (both) -> make up -> move on.
It’s not rocket science, you’re making it harder by acting *****y over something that could easily be talked about in person like two adults...
You fight -> calm down -> discuss -> apologise (both) -> make up -> move on.
It’s not rocket science, you’re making it harder by acting *****y over something that could easily be talked about in person like two adults...
sorry, i didn't read your post fully. these relationship posts tend to be all the same so i just skim read.
you've communicated with him and he blanks you. and you're right. it shows that he doesn't give a **** about you but most importantly it shows that your values of what a relationship should be do not align, therefore you are incompatable and should break up.
but what you should not have done is give him the silent treatment because it's cruel, unnecesary and poor way to handle this.
if he begs you back, don't do it because:
1. most people don't change overnight.
2. if it takes a break up to resolve these kind of problems in your relationship, then it's not a good relationship.
3. it reveals deeper root issues within him that you really do not want to have to deal with.
4. he doesn't actually care about you but more to resolve his own ******** that you don't want to deal with.
you've communicated with him and he blanks you. and you're right. it shows that he doesn't give a **** about you but most importantly it shows that your values of what a relationship should be do not align, therefore you are incompatable and should break up.
but what you should not have done is give him the silent treatment because it's cruel, unnecesary and poor way to handle this.
if he begs you back, don't do it because:
1. most people don't change overnight.
2. if it takes a break up to resolve these kind of problems in your relationship, then it's not a good relationship.
3. it reveals deeper root issues within him that you really do not want to have to deal with.
4. he doesn't actually care about you but more to resolve his own ******** that you don't want to deal with.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
He sent his usual morning texts and that’s it. We had an argument last night about how he doesn’t really take the time to text me or ask me how I am. He shows he cares in other ways like spending money on me but it doesn’t show he cares because he’s rich and quite frankly money is nothing to him. I want TIME and EFFORT put into me but he hasn’t shown that at all. So basically it’s 2’oclock now and he hasn’t messaged me asking where I am or why I haven’t replied today. Does this mean he doesn’t care about me??? How long shoul I give it until I cut him off?? Honestly I’ve spoken to him loads about how his lack of effort upsets me but he just hangs up so I thought the best way is to just not respond for a while. But it has not worked
Wow, are you a pet?
You can caught him off but you may lose in the end. Gone are the days when a woman can shun a man and the man begs for her back. Men now don't give AF. There are many more woman willing to take your position.
If he messed up, speak to him like an adult. If he does not want to change, then you break up like a grown up. No need to play children’s game. He does not owe you anything.
I've been in his position before where the guy I was dating would always be the one messaging first and making more of an effort. He hinted about it a couple of times but to be honest I just got used to him being the one to message. So if he ever didn't I'd just assume he was busy.
Then one day he decided not to message me the whole day but I knew what game he was playing (he even mentioned it to our friend) and I couldn't be arsed with it and I knew he couldn't keep it up. Eventually at like 9pm he gave in and messaged me.
Thing is I actually liked him so much but I was immature and didn't want to be seen as needy.
Eventually he stepped back from the "relationship" by ghosting because he felt like he wasn't getting enough.
Similar thing happened with another boyfriend but I was actually really busy with exams at the time. He didn't seem to understand and thought I just wasn't into him. He dumped me out of the blue just after I finished my exams and didn't even give us a chance to talk things over and resolve it.
I'd suggest giving your boyfriend more of an ultimatum and saying you feel like you're not getting enough back and if it carries on like this you don't think you can stay in the relationship. He needs more of a kick up the arse and giving him the silent treatment isn't going to really work, you need to properly communicate with him. But be firm and make sure he knows you aren't sticking around if he carries on like this.
Then one day he decided not to message me the whole day but I knew what game he was playing (he even mentioned it to our friend) and I couldn't be arsed with it and I knew he couldn't keep it up. Eventually at like 9pm he gave in and messaged me.
Thing is I actually liked him so much but I was immature and didn't want to be seen as needy.
Eventually he stepped back from the "relationship" by ghosting because he felt like he wasn't getting enough.
Similar thing happened with another boyfriend but I was actually really busy with exams at the time. He didn't seem to understand and thought I just wasn't into him. He dumped me out of the blue just after I finished my exams and didn't even give us a chance to talk things over and resolve it.
I'd suggest giving your boyfriend more of an ultimatum and saying you feel like you're not getting enough back and if it carries on like this you don't think you can stay in the relationship. He needs more of a kick up the arse and giving him the silent treatment isn't going to really work, you need to properly communicate with him. But be firm and make sure he knows you aren't sticking around if he carries on like this.
Silent treatment is a form of passive aggressive behaviour used as an attempt to emotionally manipulate another person. I'm afraid if you need to resort to this kind of behaviour to get the attention you crave, you're never going to have a meaningful relationship with anyone. Attention does not equal love, and it does not equal respect, especially when it needs to be manipulated out of someone.
From your post its hard to tell if the problem is him not talking to you or your expectations being too high. It's fine to expect your partner to put effort into talking to you and if this is really a problem then you need to have a conversation like adults and work together to find a solution. If neither of you are willing to change on it then the relationship just isn't going to work.
However, your partner doesn't owe you 100% of their time and attention, they are their own person with their own life. You seem annoyed that he hasn't spoken to you between last night and lunchtime today but that doesn't really seem unreasonable to me at all. He's allowed to focus on other things and you can't expect him to spend all of his day texting you. I'd suggest focusing on making the time you spend together good but then giving him some more space when hes alone and letting you focus on your own stuff too.
However, your partner doesn't owe you 100% of their time and attention, they are their own person with their own life. You seem annoyed that he hasn't spoken to you between last night and lunchtime today but that doesn't really seem unreasonable to me at all. He's allowed to focus on other things and you can't expect him to spend all of his day texting you. I'd suggest focusing on making the time you spend together good but then giving him some more space when hes alone and letting you focus on your own stuff too.
your relationship obviously isn't a good one, you guys should talk about it and if it doesn't work out then maybe breaking up is the best thing to do
Original post by Anonymous
He sent his usual morning texts and that’s it. We had an argument last night about how he doesn’t really take the time to text me or ask me how I am. He shows he cares in other ways like spending money on me but it doesn’t show he cares because he’s rich and quite frankly money is nothing to him. I want TIME and EFFORT put into me but he hasn’t shown that at all. So basically it’s 2’oclock now and he hasn’t messaged me asking where I am or why I haven’t replied today. Does this mean he doesn’t care about me??? How long shoul I give it until I cut him off?? Honestly I’ve spoken to him loads about how his lack of effort upsets me but he just hangs up so I thought the best way is to just not respond for a while. But it has not worked
good thing you went anon - everyone loves a good ol' fashioned witchhunt.
she says that he sends his usual morning texts and that's it, which implies that he only texts her bland messages in the morning every day and that is all. she says they've had an argument about how he doesn't take the time to text her or ask her how she is, which are perfectly reasonable things to want in a relationship. i would want a partner, who, at the very least, takes the time ask me how i am because it goes to show that they genuienely are interested in my own well-being and i would know that they are someone i can rely on if i have anything to want to talk about. she's not asking for the world; she's asking for small things that are easily correctable. kudos to her.
she has talked to him about these issues before to him. tbf, we don't know, whether or not, these issues were clearly communicated with suggestions to solve those issues. and we also don't know what time and effort means to her. for all we know, it could just mean that he doesn't spend time with her other than buy her gifts occasionally. perfectly reasonable to expect things like going out, calling from time to time... etc. what kind of relationship is it if you didn't have those things? the way she describes it sounds like more of a sugar daddie relationship.
look, i know - sillent treatment is a ******** thing to do but look at it from her perspective. she's done the very basics what one would expect from soneone in resolving an issue in relationship, which is that she actually tried to talk to him about it but that didn't work out for her. she decides to hand out silent treatment because she didn't know what else to do. what else is there to do, other than breaking up with him? i'm not defending her actions, nor am i justifiying it but do look at it from her perspective. all she really did was make a mistake and not because she's a right *****.
(edited 6 years ago)
wow.
most immature thing ive seen all week
most immature thing ive seen all week
Original post by num.7
good thing you went anon - everyone loves a good ol' fashioned witchhunt.
she says that he sends his usual morning texts and that's it, which implies that he only texts her bland messages in the morning every day and that is all. she says they've had an argument about how he doesn't take the time to text her or ask her how she is, which are perfectly reasonable things to want in a relationship. i would want a partner, who, at the very least, takes the time ask me how i am because it goes to show that they genuienely are interested in my own well-being and i would know that they are someone i can rely on if i have anything to want to talk about. she's not asking for the world; she's asking for small things that are easily correctable. kudos to her.
she has talked to him about these issues before to him. tbf, we don't know, whether or not, these issues were clearly communicated with suggestions to solve those issues. and we also don't know what time and effort means to her. for all we know, it could just mean that he doesn't spend time with her other than buy her gifts occasionally. perfectly reasonable to expect things like going out, calling from time to time... etc. what kind of relationship is it if you didn't have those things? the way she describes it sounds like more of a sugar daddie relationship.
look, i know - sillent treatment is a ******** thing to do but look at it from her perspective. she's done the very basics what one would expect from soneone in resolving an issue in relationship, which is that she actually tried to talk to him about it but that didn't work out for her. she decides to hand out silent treatment because she didn't know what else to do. what else is there to do, other than breaking up with him? i'm not defending her actions, nor am i justifiying it but do look at it from her perspective. all she really did was make a mistake and not because she's a right *****.
she says that he sends his usual morning texts and that's it, which implies that he only texts her bland messages in the morning every day and that is all. she says they've had an argument about how he doesn't take the time to text her or ask her how she is, which are perfectly reasonable things to want in a relationship. i would want a partner, who, at the very least, takes the time ask me how i am because it goes to show that they genuienely are interested in my own well-being and i would know that they are someone i can rely on if i have anything to want to talk about. she's not asking for the world; she's asking for small things that are easily correctable. kudos to her.
she has talked to him about these issues before to him. tbf, we don't know, whether or not, these issues were clearly communicated with suggestions to solve those issues. and we also don't know what time and effort means to her. for all we know, it could just mean that he doesn't spend time with her other than buy her gifts occasionally. perfectly reasonable to expect things like going out, calling from time to time... etc. what kind of relationship is it if you didn't have those things? the way she describes it sounds like more of a sugar daddie relationship.
look, i know - sillent treatment is a ******** thing to do but look at it from her perspective. she's done the very basics what one would expect from soneone in resolving an issue in relationship, which is that she actually tried to talk to him about it but that didn't work out for her. she decides to hand out silent treatment because she didn't know what else to do. what else is there to do, other than breaking up with him? i'm not defending her actions, nor am i justifiying it but do look at it from her perspective. all she really did was make a mistake and not because she's a right *****.
She also stated that when she talks to him about how she feels he just hangs up the phone.. I complete agree with you it’s not a healthy relationship...
You sound like a bit of a spoilt brat, to be perfectly honest. I could be wrong, though.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- My boyfriend hasn't asked to see me in over a week and he never texts first
- A friend called me boring and thought it was funny
- Relationship L. D
- is it normal for your mum to ignore you when shes mad?
- If a girl is already dating a guy does that mean she doesn't want to date you?
- Loving in silence - is it possible?
- My (21F)best friend’s (22F) boyfriend (23F) keeps trying to be close with me
- silent treatment
- Argument with my mum
- Move Country for Love?
- My boyfriend hasn’t invited me to his family meal for his birthday?
- Relationship problems... thoughts?
- Renting on Benefits
- Some poems I have written about the helath service
- Does this guy rlly wanna be in a relationship w me?
- Depressed boyfriend doesn’t listen to me
- I've given up on my degree and don't know what to do
- my best friend blocked me on all social medias
- Awful experience working at Tesco Express… thoughts?
- I crushed on a friend who has a lot of female friends
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
