The Student Room Group

1st para. of my ps...overwhelmingly CRAP...

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Reply 40
bloody fantastic!! bailey your wonderful...i knew it was grammatically crap but i still liked my idea..it just didnt sound right....but know you've made it perfect...god..i'm sorry for being crazy but i'm sending that!!!!
Reply 41
LS.
I can see what you mean... but the paragraph just doesn't 'relate' to medicine. A kid bandaging up teddy bears? It doesn't really show the 'caring for others' or other aspects important to a doc. But thats just my opinion.

[hihihihi hope your pharmacy ps is going better than mine :frown: ]


Actually, the teddy was banged from head to toe. Suggestive of an abusive doctor :tongue: j/k Minnie!
Reply 42
sbailey
Actually, the teddy was banged from head to toe. Suggestive of an abusive doctor :tongue: j/k Minnie!


:biggrin: First time I've laughed today
Reply 43
Minnieb48
bloody fantastic!! bailey your wonderful...i knew it was grammatically crap but i still liked my idea..it just didnt sound right....but know you've made it perfect...god..i'm sorry for being crazy but i'm sending that!!!!


Best of luck, and please get plenty of people's ideas before you decide for sure it's a good idea to start off like that. First impressions do count.
Reply 44
LS.
I can see what you mean... but the paragraph just doesn't 'relate' to medicine. A kid bandaging up teddy bears? It doesn't really show the 'caring for others' or other aspects important to a doc. But thats just my opinion.

[hihihihi hope your pharmacy ps is going better than mine :frown: ]


look...i dont know if you have super abilites to be able to write all the important aspects of med in a 5 lined paragraph...but i dont..so...you're going to have to read on for that....
Reply 45
Minnieb48
look...i dont know if you have super abilites to be able to write all the important aspects of med in a 5 lined paragraph...but i dont..so...you're going to have to read on for that....


Would your teachers or headmaster be willing to offer help? My headmaster went through mine with a fine toothcomb to make sure it was up to scratch.
Reply 46
thanks a lot for everything bailey...and yeah..i won't be rash...or will i????
argghh!!...i won't but thanks a bunch!! :biggrin:
Reply 47
Minnieb48
thanks a lot for everything bailey...and yeah..i won't be rash...or will i????
argghh!!...i won't but thanks a bunch!! :biggrin:


Always glad to help :biggrin: Good luck!
Reply 48
erm...everyone liked the rest of my ps..i left the beginning blank...so..-shrug-
Reply 49
okay...anywho...THANK BAILEY!! BYE!! :biggrin:
Reply 50
I think this is better..

'From an early age, I have always wanted to become a doctor. I can vaguely recall my ideas as a child, which involved a doctor toy set and a teddy bear banged from head to toe (or paw, in this case!). My thoughts about medicine have matured since then, having completed a series of work experience and talking to doctors recently. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

IMPLY THAT YOU HAVE DONE THINGs TO CONVINCE YOU MEDICINE IS WHAT YOU WANT.
Minnieb48
hey... :confused:


'From an early age, I have always wanted to become a doctor, but my ideas as a child, which I can vaugley recall involved a doctor toy set and teddy bear banged from head to toe, or paw in this case, have changed, but the fundamental basis of my attraction to medicine still exists.'

i know there's something wrong with it, you know there's something wrong with it...what's wrong with it??!!!

....look at my feeble attempts at humour..-shakes head- :frown:


Way way WAY too many commas! First thing of all is to make that into 2 or 3 sentences rather than 1! It's way too broken up and doesn't look too impressive at all. Use of English is very important in personal statement.

As everyone else has said, humour of any sort has no place in a personal statement. You're trying to sell your academic qualities, and convey personal skills which are transferable to the degree such as commitment, enthusiasm etc. A sense of humour doesn't get you into university to study medicine.

I'd probably rewrite it. Write more about why you're actually interested in it, not what you did when you were a toddler.
Oops I may be a little late :tongue: Sorryyyyyyy