Boyfriend makes me cringe?! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 months ago
#1
So I've been with this guy for almost a month now, and we get along really well...he's funny, sweet, kind, we have pretty similar interests...
only problem is, every time he says something trying to be cute, romantic, complimentary, etc, I cringe SO hard! I can't stand it, and I end up saying something rude, pushing him away, ignoring him, rejecting him, changing th subject etc....

Examples:
'I love talking to you'
'you are so gorgeous'
'I really ****ing like you'
**** like that... over text and in real life

also he keeps trying to kiss the top of my head and snuggle with me which makes me cringe and lean away from him too, and I hate PDA (other than hugging). I have told him that I don't like that 'cutesy' verbal and touchy stuff so many times but he told me it's a part of his personality so I'll have to 'get used to it.'

I have been assaulted badly in the past so this may be a part of my trauma, but I just wanna know...

Is his cringy behaviour normal? Should I take it as a compliment? And am I weird for NOT wanting my boyfriend to act like this? Any advice?
I'm a 17 year old girl btw, no serious relationships in the past.

(yes, I do wanna do sexual 'stuff' with him, and I can be a physical person, it's just the cringey stuff I cannot tolerate)

Thank you!
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Krisis
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#2
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Tbh I find it cringy too but at the same time, if I really feel the love, I will say it and then cringe with embarrassment :dontknow:.

It gets better with age.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Krisis)
Tbh I find it cringy too but at the same time, if I really feel the love, I will say it and then cringe with embarrassment :dontknow:.

It gets better with age.
thanks! yeah I'm trying to embrace it....
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GenGen90
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If he does not respect your boundaries he does not respect you.

Lay your boundaries out clearly, explain to him how it makes you feel when he breaches them. If he doesn’t respect them the only thing that boy needs to get used to is being single, simple.
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Krisis
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks! yeah I'm trying to embrace it....
Loved talking to you <3.

Spoiler:
Show
Get used to it bro.
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WhatIsLife1
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#6
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(Original post by GenGen90)
If he does not respect your boundaries he does not respect you.

Lay your boundaries out clearly, explain to him how it makes you feel when he breaches them. If he doesn’t respect them the only thing that boy needs to get used to is being single, simple.
Yeesh. There’s a difference between cringing at someone saying they love them, in an albeit interesting way, and abuse.

Accidentally making someone cringe does not equal disrespect. Chill out goddamn.
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WhatIsLife1
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I've been with this guy for almost a month now, and we get along really well...he's funny, sweet, kind, we have pretty similar interests...
only problem is, every time he says something trying to be cute, romantic, complimentary, etc, I cringe SO hard! I can't stand it, and I end up saying something rude, pushing him away, ignoring him, rejecting him, changing th subject etc....

Examples:
'I love talking to you'
'you are so gorgeous'
'I really ****ing like you'
**** like that... over text and in real life

also he keeps trying to kiss the top of my head and snuggle with me which makes me cringe and lean away from him too, and I hate PDA (other than hugging). I have told him that I don't like that 'cutesy' verbal and touchy stuff so many times but he told me it's a part of his personality so I'll have to 'get used to it.'

I have been assaulted badly in the past so this may be a part of my trauma, but I just wanna know...

Is his cringy behaviour normal? Should I take it as a compliment? And am I weird for NOT wanting my boyfriend to act like this? Any advice?
I'm a 17 year old girl btw, no serious relationships in the past.

(yes, I do wanna do sexual 'stuff' with him, and I can be a physical person, it's just the cringey stuff I cannot tolerate)

Thank you!
Cringy behaviour is most definitely normal! Particularly amongst younger men and women. Just tell him it makes you cringe, he’ll probably feel embarrassed for a bit and then try to accommodate. We’re all different and all have things we like/dislike.

To me it seems like you’re still not completely comfortable around him. Is this a new relationship? If so, just give it a bit of time. Sorry to hear about your abuse, hoping a positive experience with this guy could help alleviate some of the trauma.

Most importantly, you do you! If it does end up becoming a bit pervy or a bit ‘much’ and if he isn’t respecting your wishes or space, then these are definitely red flags.

Cringe is most definitely normal though, good luck!
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GenGen90
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(Original post by WhatIsLife1)
Yeesh. There’s a difference between cringing at someone saying they love them, in an albeit interesting way, and abuse.

Accidentally making someone cringe does not equal disrespect. Chill out goddamn.
It is not accidental if he has been clearly told that it makes her uncomfortable, yet continues doing so regardless.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WhatIsLife1)
Cringy behaviour is most definitely normal! Particularly amongst younger men and women. Just tell him it makes you cringe, he’ll probably feel embarrassed for a bit and then try to accommodate. We’re all different and all have things we like/dislike.

To me it seems like you’re still not completely comfortable around him. Is this a new relationship? If so, just give it a bit of time. Sorry to hear about your abuse, hoping a positive experience with this guy could help alleviate some of the trauma.

Most importantly, you do you! If it does end up becoming a bit pervy or a bit ‘much’ and if he isn’t respecting your wishes or space, then these are definitely red flags.

Cringe is most definitely normal though, good luck!
thank you, this was really reassuring :-) yes, it's a new relationship haha
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
(Original post by GenGen90)
If he does not respect your boundaries he does not respect you.

Lay your boundaries out clearly, explain to him how it makes you feel when he breaches them. If he doesn’t respect them the only thing that boy needs to get used to is being single, simple.
thank you, I kind of have this attitude and I know I might snap if he doesn't quit it soon. it's diffcult to know when it crosses the boundry of innocent to creepy
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karl pilkington
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Most of it is normal behavior you are just one of those girls who prefer bad guys who are more aloof and treat em mean keep em keen
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Lilli22
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i dream about this
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1secondsofvamps
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I dont think the stuff he says is that cringy tbh
Surely its a good thing that he's expressing how much he likes you.
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midiwombatz
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#14
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Honestly I feel the same with my BF
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Occitanie
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#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
So I've been with this guy for almost a month now, and we get along really well...he's funny, sweet, kind, we have pretty similar interests...
only problem is, every time he says something trying to be cute, romantic, complimentary, etc, I cringe SO hard! I can't stand it, and I end up saying something rude, pushing him away, ignoring him, rejecting him, changing th subject etc....

Examples:
'I love talking to you'
'you are so gorgeous'
'I really ****ing like you'
**** like that... over text and in real life

also he keeps trying to kiss the top of my head and snuggle with me which makes me cringe and lean away from him too, and I hate PDA (other than hugging). I have told him that I don't like that 'cutesy' verbal and touchy stuff so many times but he told me it's a part of his personality so I'll have to 'get used to it.'

I have been assaulted badly in the past so this may be a part of my trauma, but I just wanna know...

Is his cringy behaviour normal? Should I take it as a compliment? And am I weird for NOT wanting my boyfriend to act like this? Any advice?
I'm a 17 year old girl btw, no serious relationships in the past.

(yes, I do wanna do sexual 'stuff' with him, and I can be a physical person, it's just the cringey stuff I cannot tolerate)

Thank you!
You sound like my gf :lol:

She doesn’t like PDA either. Good thing is that I’m not fond of it either really apart from hugging and holding hands (some times). She told me about it when we first started dating. Have you tried telling him?

He’s obviously a hell lot more physically expressive than you, which could signal incompatibility.

He’s also quite obviously more into you than you are into him.

There’s not much chance that he’ll change, unless he realises himself that what he’s doing is quite weak and it’s turning you off.
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Occitanie
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(Original post by 1secondsofvamps)
I dont think the stuff he says is that cringy tbh
Surely its a good thing that he's expressing how much he likes you.
Sure it’s nice, but it quickly becomes asphyxiating. People need their space, and OP’s boyfriend sounds like the guy who will break down if she doesn’t get in touch one day.
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Occitanie
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(Original post by karl pilkington)
Most of it is normal behavior you are just one of those girls who prefer bad guys who are more aloof and treat em mean keep em keen
One of the most important things in relationships is space and knowing when to give it. Attraction grows in space.

For instance, if you’ve spent 4 days together 24/7, you can expect your girlfriend to back off. That’s when you give her space.

OP’s boyfriend seems like the guy who doesn’t understand the concept of space.
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Occitanie
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(Original post by GenGen90)
It is not accidental if he has been clearly told that it makes her uncomfortable, yet continues doing so regardless.
It’s stalker-ish behaviour at the very least.

He’s far too attached to her and the relationship.
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AzureCeleste
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#19
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I personally find it cringey too but then I suppose some people are like that.
In terms of the PDA, he needs to respect that you don't like it and has to accept that
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StriderHort
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Sounds a bit foolish/ignorant but may just need a nudge to back off a little, if you're getting short with him and trying to struggle out of being held ect, he should REALLY pick up on that. You DON'T need to get used to how he treats you if it makes you uncomfortable....either he's a total twot or he genuinely doesn't how stupid a thing that is to say.
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