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What do you do when you fall for someone who is unattainable?

Anonymous #1

What do you do? :frown:

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Reply 1

cheesecakelove

Original post by Anonymous

What do you do? :frown:

Why are they unattainable?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by cheesecakelove

Why are they unattainable?

It doesnt matter why, the point is that they are.

Reply 3

Kompetenzzentrum

Original post by Anonymous

It doesnt matter why, the point is that they are.

It does matter why. Different solutions stem from different problems.

Reply 4

cheesecakelove

Original post by Anonymous

It doesnt matter why, the point is that they are.

Ok...If there is no way you can be with them, you have to move on with your life. This is not easy, I know. You don't really explain much about the situation so I don't know if this person is in your everyday life or a good friend already. If seeing them makes it painful for you, you might find it easier to reduce contact with them. You could try to keep yourself busy with study, work, hobbies, meeting new friends...or why not try something new like joining a club or evening class and meeting new people? By focusing on your own life and personal development, there will be something to distract you from your feelings until you are finally ready to move on and let this person go.

Reply 5

tashkent46

Details will help a lot

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I cant give any :frown:

im just too depressed to do anything. Im worthless.

Reply 7

username1339858_

You cry, try to suck it up and move on.

IllI try :/

Don't let yourself fall for them in the first place; that's what I do at least. Haven't wasted my time crushing on someone for over five years. I've wasted it other ways.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by awkwardshortguy

Don't let yourself fall for them in the first place; that's what I do at least. Haven't wasted my time crushing on someone for over five years. I've wasted it other ways.

How do you stop those feelings?

Reply 11

awkwardshortguy

Original post by Anonymous

How do you stop those feelings?

It is just present in my mind now that everyone is unattainable to me and so naturally my hopes never rise, I think.

Reply 12

BlueIndigoViolet

maybe the question is these questions will make your target grade unattainable :smile:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by BlueIndigoViolet

maybe the question is these questions will make your target grade unattainable :smile:

Eh??

Reply 14

Zarek

Reflect that there is not just one adorable person, there are loads. Reflect that in hindsight the time spend feeling angsty about someone unattainable is a complete waste of your time and life. Distance yourself from the situation as much as you can and find some who is up for it with you. Admittedly at times all of this can be quite difficult.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 15

Suzy Xu

Follow their Twitter, ins, Linkedln....anything you can find secretly. Then you might find foolishness reside in the person who seems totally out of your league. Or you will feel more desperate cuz even though you’ve already realized how stupid he/she really is, you still fall for the cute idiot hopelessly.

Drink.

Original post by Zarek

Reflect that there is not just one adorable person, there are loads. Reflect that in hindsight the time spend feeling angsty about someone unattainable is a completed was of your time and life. Distance yourself from the situation as much as you can and find some who is up for it with you. Admittedly at times all of this can be quite difficult.

What if no one is `up for it with you?` :/

Reply 18

roseprincessx

What’s your situation if you don’t mind me asking?x

Reply 19

ErasistratusV

Now listen to me. There is nobody who is unattainable. Someone said to me once, if you want something enough: you find a way.

I doubt there is a man (or woman) alive who has not have a serious crush on someone they thought totally out of their league but believe me: I managed to capture (temporarily) not one but two of my personal unicorns and it was worth it. Furthermore, if I can manage this insane feat then literally anyone can. I promise you now, I am being 100% genuine- when I was in my 20s I had literally zero self confidence. The trick of it is to pretend you have confidence. Women, in particular, seem attracted to confidence.

Your first step is to ditch any notion that you can't have what you want: you can have it, you begin to dress and live in a way that helps you foster a sense of confidence. Whatever it takes you to achieve that, you do. If working out in the gym works for you, do that. If a particular set of clothes or shoes or lucky cuff links works for you, do that. If a BMW M3 works for you, do that.

Don't look back. Abandon all doubt and reservation.