Complimenting your crush who is in a relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
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I complimented my crush on a Facebook post she made at the weekend - a picture she posted. I told her she was extremely pretty. She knows how I feel about her, and she's in a new relationship.

The guy seemed to get a bit arsey by it and the only way I can describe it is pissing in the bush, by agreeing with me in a sarcastic way. She did not reciprocate his comment by any likes or reactions, neither did she reciprocate mine.

I am starting to think he felt a bit insecure and potentially threatened, and may have blamed her for it and the situation was awkward? They were in eachother's company at the time. It was just a compliment.

Thoughts?
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sinfonietta
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You need to respect that she's in a relationship and should refrain from making comments that will make her and her partner uncomfortable.
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always.hungry.
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i agree.. you should understand its her decision on who she dates. It's not your place to start putting cracks in it. Crushes are so hard to deal with i hate them bahahh
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by always.hungry.)
i agree.. you should understand its her decision on who she dates. It's not your place to start putting cracks in it. Crushes are so hard to deal with i hate them bahahh
Who said anything about wanting to put cracks in it?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by always.hungry.)
i agree.. you should understand its her decision on who she dates. It's not your place to start putting cracks in it. Crushes are so hard to deal with i hate them bahahh
to be fair this boyfriend's ego seems pretty fragile to get pissed at a guy complimenting his gf.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
to be fair this boyfriend's ego seems pretty fragile to get pissed at a guy complimenting his gf.
Exactly.

My best friend's girlfriend is gorgeous.... I compliment her and he doesn't care. He KNOWS I have no interest in her on a romantic level because she's his lady, and she has also become one of my best friends and I love her as a friend - she's basically another sister, and I consider him to be a brother.
He isn't insecure over other guys complimenting either.
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always.hungry.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
to be fair this boyfriend's ego seems pretty fragile to get pissed at a guy complimenting his gf.
yeah, i dont know enough about the situation thats just what im going iff from your post 😊 it dies seem fragile but you wouldnt want to upset either of them
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StriderHort
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Yeah, stop trying to push your nose in. There's complimenting and then there's trying to provoke a reaction.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Yeah, stop trying to push your nose in. There's complimenting and then there's trying to provoke a reaction.
I am NOT trying to provoke a reaction.
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Anonymous #3
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I think it's just inappropriate to make comments like that if you know they're in a relationship tbh
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am NOT trying to provoke a reaction.
You are, why else are you publicly drooling over someone you know is with someone? It's not 'like your best friend', it's a loaded compliment in the circumstances and I think you know that very well, bad form.

Bit rich speculating the guy is insecure as well :rolleyes:
Last edited by StriderHort; 1 week ago
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Retired_Messiah
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Yah this is just not what's done, fam.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
You are, why else are you publicly drooling over someone you know is with someone? It's not 'like your best friend', it's a loaded compliment in the circumstances and I think you know that very well, bad form.

Bit rich speculating the guy is insecure as well :rolleyes:
Yes, because you clearly know my intentions better than myself. :rolleyes:

I gain nothing by deliberately trying to provoke a reaction from the boyfriend of a woman I care deeply about. I would never deliberately do or say anything that would hurt her or risk her being hurt.
She is also a friend and friends help each other to make them feel good about themselves.

Why are so many guys so damned insecure?!
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bones-mccoy
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I think it's best to refrain from making such comments if your crush is in a relationship with someone else and their partner knows about your feelings. The boyfriend may be feeling insecure but you should know the kind of reaction a comment like that could invoke, it could be seen as you flirting with the girl and that would get anyone's defences up.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I think it's best to refrain from making such comments if your crush is in a relationship with someone else and their partner knows about your feelings. The boyfriend may be feeling insecure but you should know the kind of reaction a comment like that could invoke, it could be seen as you flirting with the girl and that would get anyone's defences up.
I actually have no idea if he knows about my feelings or not.

I have never met the guy.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, because you clearly know my intentions better than myself. :rolleyes:

I gain nothing by deliberately trying to provoke a reaction from the boyfriend of a woman I care deeply about. I would never deliberately do or say anything that would hurt her or risk her being hurt.
She is also a friend and friends help each other to make them feel good about themselves.

Why are so many guys so damned insecure?!
Well, tbh, yes? I seem to.

Why on earth else did you do it? We both know it's not 'just a compliment' in these circumstances, they know it too. Why wouldn't the guy feel threatened...you are publicly threatening his relationship? I suspect he knows fine well about your intent.

I like how you then go on to blame him for 'taking it out on her' as if you didn't provoke it, as if they're not both annoyed with you for putting her on the spot. If you're so secure, maybe find your own girl?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Well, tbh, yes? I seem to.

Why on earth else did you do it? We both know it's not 'just a compliment' in these circumstances, they know it too. Why wouldn't the guy feel threatened...you are publicly threatening his relationship? I suspect he knows fine well about your intent.

I like how you then go on to blame him for 'taking it out on her' as if you didn't provoke it, as if they're not both annoyed with you for putting her on the spot. If you're so secure, maybe find your own girl?
Such an overly dramatic view.
A healthy relationship is not "threatened" by a compliment. If you think your girlfriend will go and get in to bed with another guy, just because he told her she was pretty, she's not the one for you. That's a lack of trust in my view.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Such an overly dramatic view.
A healthy relationship is not "threatened" by a compliment. If you think your girlfriend will go and get in to bed with another guy, just because he told her she was pretty, she's not the one for you. That's a lack of trust in my view.
There's a big difference between not trusting your partner, and not trusting someone that's trying to fire into them all misty eyed.

You've put her in the situation of having to defend your friendship, when you know, and she knows, that it's about more than friends, so she has 3 choices

Tell him that she knows you like her and she is in no way interested, and upset at you over it - Partner angry at you
Tell him that she knows you like her and shes ok with you fawning publicly - Not many partners going to be impressed.
Or C: Lie to her partner about your intentions 'oh it's just banter, doesn't mean a thing'...which he very likely will then pick up on. - Even less impressed.

It's free advice from someone who's been round the block way too many times, take it or don't, but notice that no one else thinks the comment was appropriate.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
There's a big difference between not trusting your partner, and not trusting someone that's trying to fire into them all misty eyed.

You've put her in the situation of having to defend your friendship, when you know, and she knows, that it's about more than friends, so she has 3 choices

Tell him that she knows you like her and she is in no way interested, and upset at you over it - Partner angry at you
Tell him that she knows you like her and shes ok with you fawning publicly - Not many partners going to be impressed.
Or C: Lie to her partner about your intentions 'oh it's just banter, doesn't mean a thing'...which he very likely will then pick up on. - Even less impressed.

It's free advice from someone who's been round the block way too many times, take it or don't, but notice that no one else thinks the comment was appropriate.
If I found out he took it out on her, I will be less than impressed and quite angry.

Take it out on me, by all means - not her. Ever.
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Anonymous #1
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...and yes, I can't help how I feel about her. I am in a **** load of emotional pain over this at the moment, and I can't do anything about it other than drink. And I don't want to go down that slippery slope.
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