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Relationship with teacher.

Anonymous

I suppose it's possible, but the thing is, I just don't look on him as someone who was my teacher. I really don't think about him like that.

I really hope so. I just find him so easy to get on with, so easy to talk to, and that we do have a lot of the same interests. As it is, I've never really been attracted to guys my age anyway, cliche though it sounds, I just find guys my age really rather immature. Thanks for your reply, though.

I don't think my friends are ever going to see it as normal, and I suppose I was wondering if anyone else had any experience at all of a similar sort of relationship, and how they'd dealt with it with regards to the views of others.

I can't help you in regards with the views of others because my friends were fine with it. I myself starting dating an ex-teacher who is 14 years older than me and like yourself, I have never been into guys my own age. I say if it's what you really want then go for it. You're 18 and both responsible adults so who cares what your friends think if it's what you both really what. I'm sure they will come round in the end. Give it a shot. You won't know if it'll work until you try. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 3 years now and are getting married on Saturday!n So these type of relationships can work.

Reply 21

Anonymous #5

Hmm teachers, I am a right loser for falling for teachers lol. Only recently I really had a crush on a 41 year old teacher with wife and children. lol. And years ago, when I was 13 I liked a teacher too.

Both were quite similar personality-wise but they were teachers. Both times it had a detrimental effect on my grades I can say!

Reply 22

nothingspek

3

He's double your age, maybe that's what they have a real problem with.

Reply 23

hannah_dru

2

Unfortunately you can't really persuade people to always accept things like this. I had some people who didn't take to me being friends with teachers or having relationships with older men. Give them time but if they don't change their minds then you're just gonna have to leave it at that.

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

Hmm teachers, I am a right loser for falling for teachers lol. Only recently I really had a crush on a 41 year old teacher with wife and children. lol. And years ago, when I was 13 I liked a teacher too.

Both were quite similar personality-wise but they were teachers. Both times it had a detrimental effect on my grades I can say!

But the thing is, it's not in any way going to have an effect on my grades, as I've finished my A levels now, and nor is it that I am having an affair with a married man. I just can't see the problem in it. Although I do understand ocelotrev's point from earlier on - I can see how it might be taken that way.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

I can't help you in regards with the views of others because my friends were fine with it. I myself starting dating an ex-teacher who is 14 years older than me and like yourself, I have never been into guys my own age. I say if it's what you really want then go for it. You're 18 and both responsible adults so who cares what your friends think if it's what you both really what. I'm sure they will come round in the end. Give it a shot. You won't know if it'll work until you try. My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 3 years now and are getting married on Saturday!n So these type of relationships can work.

Thanks for posting, and congratulations :smile:

Hope you have a lovely day.

Reply 26

Electric_Dreams

9

Anonymous

As it is, I've never really been attracted to guys my age anyway, cliche though it sounds, I just find guys my age really rather immature. Thanks for your reply, though.

Oh, I can understand that. :redface:

For the time being either talk to your friends about it or ignore them on the issue. They could easily be jealous, which will soon go away, and if they are actually concerned I am sure that will also go away after they see you are still with him for after a certain amount of time. I'd say it's probably a mix of the two to be honest. :p:

Reply 27

Anonymous #6

Anonymous

Thanks for posting, and congratulations :smile:

Hope you have a lovely day.

I started a relationship with my teacher after I left, two and half years ago and we're still going strong so it is possible. My friends were difficult about it as well which was odd as before that when I fancied him they encouraged me in it but as soon as he reciprocated they turned around and said he was using me :s-smilie:

I think they were just jealous tbh. Your situation sounds surprisingly like mine, though your age gao is bigger, as we just got on incredibly well and had a lot of things in common. Good luck with it and just give your friends some time to get used to the situation. Oh, also be prepared for his friends to maybe have a negative reaction as well.

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

I started a relationship with my teacher after I left, two and half years ago and we're still going strong so it is possible. My friends were difficult about it as well which was odd as before that when I fancied him they encouraged me in it but as soon as he reciprocated they turned around and said he was using me I think they were just jealous tbh.

I know exactly what you mean - when it was all hypothetical, my friends were agreeing with me on him being attractive, that they'd 'do' him, etc. The moment I start a relationship with him, it's suddenly all something terrible. Thing is, they're not going to force me out of this relationship, I just wish they'd accept it.

Oh, also be prepared for his friends to maybe have a negative reaction as well.

Strangely, they were fine. I was dreading them hearing about it, but having met them they were fine with me.

Reply 29

Anonymous #6

Anonymous

I know exactly what you mean - when it was all hypothetical, my friends were agreeing with me on him being attractive, that they'd 'do' him, etc. The moment I start a relationship with him, it's suddenly all something terrible. Thing is, they're not going to force me out of this relationship, I just wish they'd accept it.

See the thing with my best friend was that when I first realised that I might like him as more than just teacher-student, she was convinced that he liked me as well and would point out things that she was certain meant he liked me. I was adamant that this was just pure conjecture on her part. Then when I came over to her way of thinking and it seemed possible he may actually like me she changed tack and said that I 'was just seeing what I wanted to see'. Well its been nearly three years now so meh :p:

Strangely, they were fine. I was dreading them hearing about it, but having met them they were fine with me.

That's nice, I'm gald with you :smile:

Most of my guy's friends were nice but there were a few at the start who were convinced that it wouldn 't last and persisted in treating me like a silly, little schoolgirl.

Reply 30

zippz

If you keep on telling every friend one of them is bound to get it out and itll end up in the news :biggrin:

I guess your sensible in that youve only told your best friend.

She only cares for you and because hs is much older and a teacher she knows it is a tad wrong and only cares for you.
just let her badmouth. You should worry if she didn't.

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

That's nice, I'm gald with you Most of my guy's friends were nice but there were a few at the start who were convinced that it wouldn 't last and persisted in treating me like a silly, little schoolgirl.

I'm sure there'll be some :s:

zippz

If you keep on telling every friend one of them is bound to get it out and itll end up in the news :biggrin:

I guess your sensible in that youve only told your best friend.

She only cares for you and because hs is much older and a teacher she knows it is a tad wrong and only cares for you.
just let her badmouth. You should worry if she didn't.

It's not wrong in the slightest - it's not illegal. I haven't told any of my friends, in fact - they happened to see us together, and then asked. I couldn't exactly lie.

Reply 32

zippz

Anonymous

It's not wrong in the slightest - it's not illegal. I haven't told any of my friends, in fact - they happened to see us together, and then asked. I couldn't exactly lie.

oh okay so because you've left school its not illegal?-ok then :smile:

Reply 33

mitsabeeba

2

Anonymous

Please, please, please anon or delete.

Ok, so I have just finished school (I mean A levels - I'm 18), and I have got into a sexual relationship with my ex teacher since finishing school (we were really friendly for years whilst I was at school).

He's 36, and a really great guy. I get one with him really well, and we share a lot of the same interests. However, those of my friends who know aren't too impressed. Apparently it's 'sick' and 'wrong', which I don't think it is.

He's not married, has no children, no partner or any other form of baggage, so it's not like I'm letting myself in for something awful. Basically, I was just wondering if anyone might have any suggestions as to how I can persuade my friends that my relationship with him really isn't 'sick' or whatever. I know I really shouldn't care about what other people think, but it is kind of hard when your best friends are continually badmouthing your relationship.

Thanks for your time

sick indeed

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

OP

zippz

oh okay so because you've left school its not illegal?

Yep

mitsabeeba

sick indeed

It would help if you'd elaborate on that.

Reply 35

mitsabeeba

2

Anonymous

Yep

It would help if you'd elaborate on that.

why?
would it actually discourage you from the situation?

Reply 36

Anonymous #7

Hey; I'm 19, finished my A2's last year, and very recently have started chatting to my History teacher from year 12. He's 40, married, with two children; I'm engaged to my boyfriend.

My friends think it's strange that we chat and that we get on really well - but to be honest, he reminds me so much of someone I used to be really close to, and it's really great to just sit down after a long day and talk to him about whatever we feel like talking about. We're talking about meeting up for drinks soon - nothing funny, I have NO intention whatsoever of anything happening, and would knee him in the *******s if he tried anything, if only for the sake of his wife - but I don't see a problem with us doing it.

(I was quite clear with my "if this is about getting an easy shag with a 19 year old, you can shove it up your arse" speech, so I think he's quite definitely in the know about how I feel.)

Obviously, a relationship is different; but if you're happy, then why the hell not? Screw the age difference or the ex-teacher thing - it's a relationship. They need to grow up.