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shyness in a guy

I am a fairly shy person,

I'm on this 2 mth cource atm (not a uni cource) and started it late so everyone already knows each other ..and as i'm so shy i'm finding it really difficult to make friends.

everyone's in thier big groups talking all the time and if i cannot talk to people in smaller groups first (and so feel comfortable with them) I seem unable to get much rapport going which is stopping me making friends.

anyways, back to the point. what puzzles me a bit is despite me being really quite shy and barely talking a few girls seem to be interested. 1 seems particually interested which kinda worries me because I don't really find her very attractive and don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings or anything (but day by day she's becomming more and more obvious and soon she may twig that i have noticed and am ignoring her. will that come off as rude?)

what puzzles me is why are these girls interested in the first place?
I suppose I am sorta good looking (or so i'm told) ..so this is bound to be a factor ..but then again they've only seen little snippits of my personality as I have been fairly quiet. and these girls don't particually strike me as the type to be dazzled by looks if someone had an awful personality.

So Is it all about looks? (I thought girls were suppose to be less shallow than guys)
or is it that and the shyness. girls do you like shyness?

oh and with regards to confidence, when I do actually speak ..I tend to speak in a resonably confident but at the same time relaxed tone.

Reply 1

Mastermind`

17

Girls love shy guys. I think they understand that shyness is science. Scientists have found a gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes. So yeah, girls have stopped discriminating.

:yeah:

Reply 2

DamnitJanet

8

I think a certain amount of shyness is sweet, so long as it doesn't get to the point where the guy doesn't speak.

Anyways, girls are interested in you- are you complaining? :p:

Maybe you should spend less time wondering why and more time enjoying it!

Reply 3

thats funny

thread about how to make friends #67,590 -

say hello to people, introduce yourself etc. Just relax and do that stuff -

Reply 4

g_star_raw_1989

15

Shyness = mysterious = attractive to girls.

Your in , mate.

Reply 5

Ekpyrotic

13

Try to integrate into the class. (sorry)

Reply 6

thats funny

g_star_raw_1989

Shyness = mysterious = attractive to girls.

Your in , mate.

Disagree -
Confidence wins hands down everytime.

If you just stand in a corner looking at some bird all shy and mysterious she'll probably just feel freaked out, as if you're stalking her.

Seriously, just say hello to people and relax and talk about stuff - Most people are happy to accept more company. The more the merrier usually the idea. Unless they're a bunch of criminals or super avid chess players

Reply 7

HCD

16

ANM775

So Is it all about looks? (I thought girls were suppose to be less shallow than guys).

Spoiler

In my experience, that's not the case at all.

Reply 8

Sitbh

thats funny

Disagree -
Confidence wins hands down everytime.

If you just stand in a corner looking at some bird all shy and mysterious she'll probably just feel freaked out, as if you're stalking her.

Seriously, just say hello to people and relax and talk about stuff - Most people are happy to accept more company. The more the merrier usually the idea. Unless they're a bunch of criminals or super avid chess players

some girls dig the mysterious type. they want to know the unknown.

i'm the same as the OP. i never introduce myself to groups of people because i just feel like they don't want it. i'll get such a 'whos this guy?' or 'lets humour him' response, that i just don't bother. i've been told i come across shy because of that. but i don't go unnoticed and some people do notice my despite my lack of words.

but to counter that, i have friends who get away with just jumping into large groups of people because of their confidence. they just have that working in their favour.

to the OP. just relax and if there's an opportunity to crack a joke or ask someone about work to catch up on, or even offer that if someone's missed a class or two. take it.

Reply 9

thats funny

Sitbh

some girls dig the mysterious type. they want to know the unknown.

i'm the same as the OP. i never introduce myself to groups of people because i just feel like they don't want it. i'll get such a 'whos this guy?' or 'lets humour him' response, that i just don't bother. i've been told i come across shy because of that. but i don't go unnoticed and some people do notice my despite my lack of words.

but to counter that, i have friends who get away with just jumping into large groups of people because of their confidence. they just have that working in their favour.

to the OP. just relax and if there's an opportunity to crack a joke or ask someone about work to catch up on, or even offer that if someone's missed a class or two. take it.

I assume the women attracted to this have the same personality.
But perhaps not.
It's cool being how you want to be, but I find being confident makes things a hell of a lot easier.

Reply 10

Sitbh

thats funny

I assume the women attracted to this have the same personality.
But perhaps not.
It's cool being how you want to be, but I find being confident makes things a hell of a lot easier.

confidence does open a lot of doors. but usually people can see through a shy guy trying to be confident. i know i've tried it and not done well at all. so i stick with who i am, because i want friends who like who i really am. and not who i try to be so i get more friends/girlfriends.

i will admit though, i wish i could pull off the confident persona at times.

Reply 11

thats funny

Sitbh

confidence does open a lot of doors. but usually people can see through a shy guy trying to be confident. i know i've tried it and not done well at all. so i stick with who i am, because i want friends who like who i really am. and not who i try to be so i get more friends/girlfriends.

i will admit though, i wish i could pull off the confident persona at times.

Yeah, well I'm like that - be who you feel like being. I feel like being confident, I'm comfortable with myself for being like that, because well that's what I'm like - I don't want to change. All makes sense. Kudos :yy:

Reply 12

belle654

1

youre probably just being paranoid about the shyness thing, i bet youre fine!! everyone likes different types of personalities. id much prefer someone who is quite shy and sweet to loud and confident and arrogant

Reply 13

Desperate Prayer

9

Girls love mystery. In fact, anyone loves mystery - It allows the imagination to endow you with all sorts of wonderful attributes! (Massive cock, huge tongue, ability to make them laugh with every sentence, the most caring boy in the world...Of course, I have all these anyway :p:

)

This comes from someone who would term himself Quietly confident, enigmatic, or at worst in a bad situation, taciturn.

But shy? nah.

You dont sound all that shy either - what you are describing is very, very normal.

Reply 14

wanderlust.xx

18

Ekpyrotic

Try to integrate into the class. (sorry)

ROFL. I did something similar in my Maths Personal Statement.

"I began to differentiate..."

:rofl:

Reply 15

Sithius

16

Mastermind`

Girls love shy guys. I think they understand that shyness is science. Scientists have found a gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes. So yeah, girls have stopped discriminating.

:yeah:

Is this a joke?

What about the millions of people who are shy through their teens, then when they grow up many lose this shyness. In fact, social anxiety courses are just a waste of time right? Can't fight the genes. :rolleyes:

Reply 16

ANM775

OP

20

thanks for the feedback guys,

...oh and more thing, during the first few days I really was too too quiet, to the extent where I think people thought I was slow or something,

I overheard a convo from accross the room, (yes I have bat like hearing lol)

girl 1: whats up with that guy? ..he dosen't say anything or doing anything to get attention

girl 2: he's cute yeah,... He dosen't need to go running about trying to get attention...

girl 1: ..yeah but still .....
hey, do you think there's something wrong with him?

*didn't hear the rest of the convo*

It looks like they were wondering if I was slow.
anyways since then I've come out of my shell a little more and become sorta friends with girl 2 (although even though she said i was cute i'm pretty sure she dosen't fancy me), and i've become sorta friends with a few other people ..but no propper friends yet.

the girls who seem interested I think it is probably looks which is initially getting them interested ... and even though I am still fairly quiet I think they must like my personality and I'm displaying just about enough of it to sustain that interest.

to be honest I don't think I'm super good looking or anything particually special, I'd rate myself perhaps a 7

Reply 17

chaseside

It depends on the type of shyness. You can be cute and shy or weirdly shy..

Reply 18

Epic Win

15

you should go to class drunk, alcohol reduces shyness :yy:

Reply 19

zDjM

Sitbh

confidence does open a lot of doors. but usually people can see through a shy guy trying to be confident. i know i've tried it and not done well at all. so i stick with who i am, because i want friends who like who i really am. and not who i try to be so i get more friends/girlfriends.

i will admit though, i wish i could pull off the confident persona at times.

who says you can't start to be confident. of course you can. but it's not like 'boom' I'm the most confident person in the world. it's playing like a fool a bit. It's a process and it takes time. Improve social skills, learn how to talk to people, accept yourself. If you had done that I'd not have be shy or anything. Am I right?

Look. I was to the library on Tuesday. I saw a book 'How to stop being shy'. I remember I had borrowed it last year. Now, I just smiled. It's not my problem anymore :smile:

go for it. Imporove your life.

EDIT: Girls don't like shy guys eh. they go for your personality. Shy guy seems to be afraid of world, he do not accept himself. Don't believe it someone says you something different. But the good news is you can fight your shyness. Btw have you talked to mentioned gilrs??

shyness in a guy

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