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my boyfriend said he likes girls with low self esteem?

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how can you assume that the guy has been abusive the entire relationship based on a statement he made in a context we don't know very much about?

Reply 21

dalbyc

no this is absolutely not okay, I would leave because this sounds like a toxic person

Reply 22

Ðeggs

That sounds like he’s manipulative and exploiting vulnerable women. Stay cautious.

Reply 23

Wired_1800

Original post by Chocolatecakexx

tf is wrong with ur ex
u should have exposed him

Not her ex.

Reply 24

90 cent

what.. throw him away man

Reply 25

username1339858_

You are breaking up over this one comment, despite four years of relationship?

Reply 26

1secondsofvamps

Its TSR, ofc people are gonna straight away tell youse to break up

Reply 27

Legomenon

I don't think it'd be so bad if he said it's because he also has low self-esteem so he could relate to them more, but the "easier to please and they're easier to get" reason is disturbing.

Reply 28

username5323908

So messed up, probably because he's got his own insecurities.

its toxic

I'm normally one to say this kind of situation is horrendous BUT you need to talk to him about why he said that

"I go for girls with low self-esteem because I am also insecure, afraid of rejection and I feel like I may be able to relate to them as confident girls intimidate me a bit" is very different from "I go for girls with low self-esteem because they're easier to please and I can use and manipulative their insecurites to my advantage"

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 31

apolaroidofus

It's obviously a massively red flag but I agree that it's hard to end a 4 year relationship over one comment and it's always possible that he may have worded it incorrectly and the whole thing is just a miscommunication (unlikely, but this is possible). Don't cast it to the side though - be wary, look out for more behaviour like this, and if it continues then drop him. Even if they seem like meaningless, back-handed comments you can actually learn a lot about people's intentions from the way they talk and if he continues to talk like this it's clear that he's manipulative and doesn't respect you. Always here if you need to chat <3

Reply 32

RoyalSheepy

Throw him and ruin his self esteem. Your boyfriend is one toxic guy.

Even if it's because he feels like he might not get rejected because he has insecurities himself, stuff like that stays to yourself. He did not stop to think how that comment was going to affect you - selfish guy.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 33

kitkadd

At this point you exit the relationship

Reply 34

FRS500

That's a very dodgy comment tbh.

Bin him off and send him packing ASAP OP.

It's even more concerning because what does he mean by "usually goes for girls"? I doubt his dating career began before 15, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was playing the game 'on the side' while with you.

He's bad news.

Reply 35

Multitaskingmum

DUMP HIM. You are worth far more.

Reply 36

Sarahp2000

Hi ! I couldn't leave this post without a comment. In general, those who prefer to be with people who have low self esteem are those who want to be visible next to you because they can not show themselves without having someone next to them ( especially someone who is not at the same level as they believe) . You boyfriend is manipulating you . You re not overacting. He said to you directly that girls with low self esteem are easier to please and they re easier to get. So , he considers that you are a person that someone can easy gets you and he doesn't want to try to please you more because its something comfortable for him . When we really want someone we want to give everything. In my opinion you deserve more and better. And its good that you understand what is going on in your relationship .

Reply 37

username402722

Awful comment. I wonder if older men who go after much younger women are thinking the same thing- the kind who end their marriages every 10 years or so for someone much younger.

Reply 38

parmezanne

Volunteer Team

it's a power thing. he wants to be dominant, which is such an outdated idea....

Reply 39

username5347244

that definitly means he started dating u while u were going through something. he waits to take his prey when its most vaulnerable. u should leave him. i would, despite being together so long, because even if its been a while , if he shows signs like saying stuff like that better to leave then to waste your life on a man who is like that. just my opinion.