why are people so okay with widows dating?

Jack22031994

If I had s girlfriend / wife and I died and for argument sake we were young (not that matters hugely but does change things). I wouldnt want her to be alone and sad just because of me. if she met someone else who made her happy, then Id want her to go for it.

Reply 21

londonmyst

19

Original post by Anonymous

is it posthumous? also are you saying your partners not your partner anymore?

My grandmother takes the view that marriage is forever and never ends, even after the death of a spouse.
I disagree with her.
She is a religious ultra-traditionalist in her 80s who believes that divorce, electricity, the telephone, painkillers and a few dozen other things are evil.

Reply 22

Anonymous #3

Why only widows? what about men that re-marry?

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Why only widows? what about men that re-marry?

i think widowers being with someone else is bad too, i should edit the thread,

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by londonmyst

My grandmother takes the view that marriage is forever and never ends, even after the death of a spouse.
I disagree with her.
She is a religious ultra-traditionalist in her 80s who believes that divorce, electricity, the telephone, painkillers and a few dozen other things are evil.

bur is your partner not your partner anymore?

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Oxford Mum

I don’t see the point of this thread. When you’re dead you’re dead. You won’t be aware of what your spouse is doing, and even if you are, you can’t do anything about it.

My mum used to say to my dad, when I’m dead don’t run off with some floozie. He said I’ll do what I like.

Soon afterwards she died and he met someone else within three months. 18 months later they got married and they have actually been married longer than I was.

People want to be happy, and it’s none of my business what they do.

did your dad ask her why she didn't want him to do that? and is your partner not your partner anymore when you die? also i think widows and widowers dating is scary but alot of people don't see it that way and i think that makes it more scary,

Reply 26

Oxford Mum

21

Original post by Anonymous

did your dad ask her why she didn't want him to do that? and is your partner not your partner anymore when you die? also i think widows and widowers dating is scary but alot of people don't see it that way and i think that makes it more scary,

You can't imagine it, because you are not that age. If you were in your 60s and your partner died, but you met someone else, you might feel differently.

Reply 27

candydiva

16

Original post by becausethenight

Well... not everyone is the same? It's like asking "why aren't you afraid of spiders" - even if you can give plenty of reasons why you are, it doesn't follow that someone else will be.

Personally as far as I'm concerned I'd be dead and I'd want my partner to be happy. I don't see how loving someone else 'devalues' your love for your dead spouse. Besides, plenty of people love multiple people - friends, family, children etc - as well as their spouse.

Yes u r correct about loving multiple ppl and for some of us that doesn't just mean within the fam. Pls bear in mind some of us have nontrad rels and we don't worry or want to worry about waiting for ppl to die before we consider having romantic/sexual rels with others...

Reply 28

Compost

19

Original post by Anonymous

f1cking a dead man's wife doesn't sound right does it?

I just cannot see the problem. People have relationships after the break up with a partner. Death is just the ultimate break up.

Reply 29

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Compost

I just cannot see the problem. People have relationships after the break up with a partner. Death is just the ultimate break up.

well thats sad,

Reply 30

Compost

19

Original post by Anonymous

well thats sad,

Do you think that all people should have only one romantic/physical relationship in their lives? If not, what is your problem with people having a relationship after their partner has died?

Edit: My brother's first wife died 3 weeks after they got married when he was 23 or 24. Do you really believe that he should never have had another relationship after that?

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 31

Foxehh

21

Original post by Anonymous

well thats sad,

Life is sad, get over yourself.
It would be very selfish to die and expect your partner to be lonely and miserable the rest of their life. Finding a new partner after your last died isnt forgetting about them, its opening yourself up to a new chapter of your life.

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 32

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by LovelyMrFox

Life is sad, get over yourself.
It would be very selfish to die and expect your partner to be lonely and miserable the rest of their life. Finding a new partner after your last died isnt forgetting about them, its opening yourself up to a new chapter of your life.

'Life is sad, get over yourself' are gonna say that to someone who got r2ped? and i don't want them to be lonely i just think them being with someone else is sad,

Reply 33

username5428282

21

Original post by Anonymous

'Life is sad, get over yourself' are gonna say that to someone who got r2ped? and i don't want them to be lonely i just think them being with someone else is sad,

You have to be trolling because this whole thread is ridiculous. You should concentrate on finding someone who wants to marry you first because I think that may be your biggest challenge.

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by YaliaV123

You have to be trolling because this whole thread is ridiculous. You should concentrate on finding someone who wants to marry you first because I think that may be your biggest challenge.

don't you think its sad your partners not your partner anymore?

Reply 35

kayala

8

we don't have this fear because we are generous enough to want out future partner to be happy and most don't fixate on this scenario in the first place.