My relationship is making me toxic/insecure

I’ve been with a long term bf and it’s been going mostly well and he’s a great guy, however I realised that at the same time it’s awakened the bad trait of insecurity. Before getting with someone I was much more easy going, now I’ve become paranoid and a little uptight/neurotic. However I’ve always had anxiety and fear of abandonment which was almost dormant before him. This has been caused by me being insecure over his friend/old flame, attractive female friends etc however he’s never cheated or been disloyal, just me otherthinking. I don’t reveal these traits to him that much as to not tarnish the relationship however they’re quietly there eating away at me. I thought in time through his proof of trustworthiness I would overcome these feelings however it’s not been the case. I wished that I had close male friends so he could feel the way I did and understood- but I realised how toxic that is. Idk how I could get over this.

First of all take a deep breath!

Right, speaking to him about your insecurities isn't 'tarnishing' your relationship. Just mentioning that you know you have no reason to be insecure, but you still feel insecure to him is enough. We all get 'threatened' from time to time. Just don't cross to the toxic side.

He should be able to love all of you. Insecure and laid back you. Only him gets to see that. Just make it clear it's your issue to work through, but don't let it fester from within. It will bring a wedge between you two.

Hope that helps☺️