Is my crush a bad person? Should I try to stop liking him?

We talk in person a lot and anyways one time we were hanging out and we started talking about drugs, I said i probably will never do drugs and he said "yeah same, if I ever did it would be low level ones like weed but I won't ever do drugs" anyways he lied to me because today I found out he has a dealer and he does drugs and he was talking about weed and LSD but he's like 17-18 so it's not that bad but although he doesn't know I heard his conversation but he was so nice to me, he actually cared about me, once I was having a panic attack although it wasn't obvious and somehow he knew and suggested we get some air etc. But he's so nice to me and he's approachable and a warm nice guy so should I try and stop liking him?? Should I hold this against him? He lied to me and I don't know how to feel, is he a bad person? What do I do??

Title: yes and yes.

so I think what you should is that you should go talk to to him and ask why he lied to you

Reply 3

lucira03

I think an important thing to gauge here is his relationship with drugs. Is he always high? Does he test his drugs to make sure they don't contain anything dangerous? Does he get them from a trustworthy source? What I'm suggesting here is that experimenting with drugs does NOT make someone a bad person, and that it's in fact very natural to try them out and use them recreationally every now and again, especially as a teenager. HOWEVER, if he is very irresponsible with drugs and seems to be dependent on them, then stay away from that relationship. You want to be his partner, not his therapist, and that is what you may become if he does have a drug addiction. I think you should definitely inquire about why he lied to you as well, perhaps not in a confrontational way but in a way that aims to understand his motives.
Something I should clarify is that if the prospect of being in a relationship with someone that uses drugs in any capacity makes you uncomfortable, then this isn't the relationship for you and you would certainly be better as friends.
Ultimately, it's entirely up to you to decide how to approach this situation, but please don't do either of these two things:

1) Ostracise him and treat him as if he's a bad person for using drugs
2) Make excuses for him and engage in a romantic relationship if he's addicted to drugs

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Thanks although I'd probably end up making excuses for him because In the past i have said "oh he's a good person because there's good in everyone" even when the person is toxic but if I get the courage I will talk to him about it If we get a moment alone, I'm just afraid he'll lash out at me and by bringing this up I'll ruin lur relationship.